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Today at work I was looking over some applications for trainee positions, and when I read that the first applicant was born in 2002, I thought what the hell, why is a 5 year old applying for a job? Then I realized. I'm old now.

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I got a children's discount from a bus ticket even though I'm 20 😂

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How high can duck fly ?

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  • Fly so high he touch the sky

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I stayed indoors for the whole of summer so when i went back home i instantly turned 8 shades darker lmao i love how it gives me a nice tan but i really cant stand the daily 40-50°c weather here anymore. Everyone here hibernates throughout the whole year and only come out when it's winter

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What I say: I'm going to the bathroom. What I mean: I'm gonna play Tetris for 45 minutes

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Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

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  • how is the cat brought back?

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I want to try anal but what if I end up shitting on his dick 🙄

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  • you have to wash your asshole. literally put water up there and let it come out. i have gay friends and they told me about it.

  • Honestly... if you guys can't handle a little poop then neither of you are ready for anal sex 😂

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Bro this girl is sooo annoying xD she asks me 'wyd' like every 5 seconds. She's relentless she never stops and there's no reason for her to stop cause i wanna hit it XD soooo baaaaad

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I was just reminiscing about my childhood and thought back to the hot cheetos craze. When I was in 3rd grade the lime hot cheetos came out and literally everyone from my school had them. I didn’t like spicy stuff and they low key made me cry it hurt so bad but I ate them just to fit in. Well one day they made me sick and I threw up hot cheetos all over in the middle of class. It was so embarrassing I didn’t want to go back. All that torture just to fit in. It was just funning remember all the old times when I was a kid and how much i’ve changed. I used to love pickle and bbq sauce sandwiches. I don’t know why but I thought pickles and bbq sauce on rye was the greatest thing. Now I don’t even eat pickles at all. Anybody else have any crazy childhood foods?

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  • Heinz green ketchup

  • Whenever I ate ravioli, I HAD to pick apart every single piece and eat the flat side, then the filling, then the other side. idk why I felt the need to do that.

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i know every girl my"man" talks to online. should i tell him i know? or make him delete them from EVERYTHING. It's so embarrassing

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