Every Sunday morning my girlfriend leaves for work at 7am. I always sleep naked and her daughter comes in every week supposedly looking for "something". She is 19 and I used to pretend I was still sleeping but once she found out I was awake she just told me its ok because she already saw me naked lots of times. She keeps looking at my body and I cannot possibly stop from getting an erection. Sometimes I lay there naked for 5 or 10 minutes while she has a conversation with me. My girlfriend still knows nothing.
I love talking dirty to the female bill collector's
I got two fucked up call's today
Just in case you ever are or were mad at your English teacher for reading so much bullshit into metaphors and symbols that were supposedly hidden in small details in books (like the infamous "The courtains are blue because they symbolize the depression that the character goes through" - no Mrs. Miller, they are just fucking blue - and things like that). I am an author. I regularly write such metaphors or symbols. And guess what. Almost all of them happen by accident. Total coincidence. Sometimes I look back and I'm like "Wow, that's genius. Wish I had come up with that on purpose." Like, the curtains in my books are blue because my favorite color is blue or because while writing, I looked around and saw blue curtains. I always imagine English teachers or critics looking at those paragraphs and going on for hours about the ingrained symbolism. And I look back at my student years and am glad that I was probably right for being mad at Mrs. Miller in a lot of cases.
I called a bill collector at Commonwealth financial services I told the lady to take off her clothes and let's take a shower burst out laughing at her on the phone
I got six fucked up call's today
I wonder if some people think, after they pass gas, there is no way I ate the smell that just came out of me. 🙄
One of my favorite movies, when I was younger, was Splash, with Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah. I wanted to be a mermaid and hoped that if I stayed in the bathtub long enough, my legs would turn into a fin. Of course it never happened. That fantasy only lasted for a week, when I was 7 years old.
I noticed that black cats run in front of moving cars the most, when it's dark. At least that is my experience. I guess they feel that nobody can see them at night. If they do, they must be aware that they are black cats. 🤔
I got another funny call from New Jersey this evening