Why does my lips feel heavy when after hanging out with friends? Is a sign of social anxiety?
i need a therapist. please help me find one
where are hubby I have too much to tell you and share with you
If God exists, he is sadistic. Why would he create the world in order to test his own creation, supposedly knowing which ones would end up loving him and which ones wouldn't? How can we say that he is all loving when anyone who doesn't love him and believe in him will be tortured for eternity when we know that there are some people who are never exposed to Christianity, who by this logic will be in Hell for eternity? Why did such a loving God give us such a terrible world to live in so that we can have free will, as though this is some glorious treat, just to take it away after we've had it for our lifetime as there can't be free will in Heaven because we would then sin. Free will isn't a gift it's just a test, we'll become automaton for eternity anyway if we're good enough for our creator. Despite all this, there's an infantile part of me that wants to believe in God, to believe that there's some loving saviour in the sky and life after death, but all the evidence suggest to me that if God exists, he's not worth loving. Why would I worship a God who's not all loving, powerful or knowing. Why follow the commands of someone who doesn't know that they are good? Why love someone who will torture you in this life and quite probably in the next, if there is such a thing? I would like to believe in God and to believe that there's more than this like I did as an ignorant child but now I can understand all the evil in the world, I question what kind of being I'd be worshipping.
Someone once told me that they would never be in a relationship with me because I was black. Her reasoning was there’s too much baggage, too many problems, and too much of a risk for her to deal with that. The entire conversation was more detailed and very stereotypical. Some people might be okay with this or think it’s fine to have a preference but this was not okay with me. To be told that I am not good enough for you or worth your time because the color of my is extremely upsetting. I am a human being and an individual. To be minimized to nothing more than the stereotypes attached to the color of my skin is a complete slap in the face. We all know the stereotypes surrounding african americans but let me tell you this. Whatever you heard about black people does NOT apply to all black people. I grew up with both parents in my life and they’re still married to this day. I was born and raised in San Anselmo, CA and did not grow up in the hood, ghetto or in a gang. I am a high school graduate and a 4 year university graduate. I am employed, living on my own in a house that I own. I have 2 cars that I own. I have never been on government assistance and my parents were never on government assistance when they had my siblings and I. I have no criminal record, never been to jail. If anyone else has been in those situations that’s fine, nothing against you but as someone who has worked their entire life to be a better person it sucks to be minimized to absolutely nothing. Kindergarten to college graduate I did nothing but put in countless hours of hard work and years of dedication to give myself the best opportunity in life. As a human being I think I deserve more respect than having my entire life summed up to a stereotype. This has always stuck with me for years because the feeling I felt in that moment is indescribable and hard to let go. Everything I have ever done in life to be an acceptable member of society, everything my parents have done and sacrificed to put their children in the best position possible to be productive and contributing members of society completely disregarded. I have never to this day felt such disrespect. You can have your dating preferences all you want but do not ever ever ever try to dehumanize me or anybody else ever again. Regardless of class, race or situation we are all humans and we all deserve a minimal level of respect just as people in general.
I have depresseion, I jumped off the building survived but broke my legs. People noticed after called 911 and I just said I fell off the building. I didn't want to say I jump because I know where theyll bring me after and the doctors are the worst. Not helping me at all. I stopped going to the therapist because I was almost beoke and cant afford the money. At least accident is covered on my insurance and not suicide and mental health. I know I need help. And probably a change of insurance company.
I used to read really really posts here. And oh boy didnt I get crossed by weird, harsh and alarming posts. Some said they enjoy killing animals and gets 129 dislikes. Honestly, I tried posting the same thing (just because Im curious how everuthing would be different) yeah the admin didnt prove it. I think he was more cautious here than before. I read how another more recent post about this girl have all her posts denied because they were all about kilking herself... my point why do you allowthose before then not allow it now? And some are over the top disturbing why are they posted?
My friends are all cautious and loves indoors. Scared of this scared of that because its not safe. Me im an adventurous person I love adventures. But I have no friends to adventure with. Like most of the time I share fun stuff and theyd say its dangerous. Sometimes I dont know how to feel. Either scared or disappointed. Scared because of how they know it and exaggeratedly explain it. Dissappointed because they spend life boring (my opinion.). Like im tired of going to coffee shops, watching movie at night, playing board games etc.i want to hike, surf, scuba dive, skydive, and do everything that drives my adrenaline cravings. Like seriously a roller coaster is just fun to me. I dont get scared at all it was just fun. And Im tired of being told its dangerous.i know its dangerous, its why i want to do it. Hiking is dangerous but I want to try it i want to see whatd up in each mountains I go to. And honestly my friends are great people but their interest depresses me literally. I feel so lost in their interest. I need to find others friends who likes my interest but I dont know where and how. I happen to act introverted and scared of meeting new people. Im an introvert with extoverted interests.
How do women feel about men crying? Openly expressing my emotions has always been something Ive struggled with. Ive never felt comfortable enough or vulnerable enough to be emotional in front of other people. There have been times in my life where I was so emotionally defeated and physically drained that I wanted to cry because sadness is all I felt. As a man Ive been raised to be strong and never let anybody see my weaknesses. Society also says men crying is a sign of weakness or the unmanly thing to do and I have struggled with that. I try to put on a front and act like things dont bother me but they do. Im a 6’3 211 pound black man and there are already so many unwarranted labels, stereotypes, judgements and stigmas around someone like me, the last thing I need is to add another negative thing to the list. I cover up my pain and hurt with an I don’t give a fuck attitude but really yes I do care, I do give a fuck, I do have feelings, I have been hurt before, there have been times where I did want to cry. There have been times where i wanted to pour my heart out to someone . There have been times where something did bother me even though I said it did not. I still dont have the courage to talk about these internal problems Ive had face to face with anybody but I feel like getting this off my chest and writing this post is a step in the right direction of heeling. Im going to make one last separate post of a situation that occurred that has been weighing on me heavily the past couple of years.
I’m Asian and Arabs say I’m cute but I wanna look hot like them, not cute.