11:40pm still awake and i have a fucking class, 7 in the morning tomorrow!!! What a life...
I'm afraid to be old, to be like other people... Lot of thing's to think..And a lot of work, being problematic.. To face the reality..
What is reality?? I just want to ask all of you to see how you see the world...What's your perspective about life?What is real or not?
Jan.15.2019 I forgot that it's my father's birthday today .. Pero i just want to say happy birthday Papa, sorry kung badlongon ko nga anak ug maguwang..Sorry kung nagpakahubog ko atong debu ni Ate Grace, i thought okay ra kay family and mga ig-agaw raman pod ako kauban ato and wala ko nasuko nga gisampal ko nimo atong time-ma naka sabot ko why imo tong gibuhat syempre babae man ko tapos 16 yrs.old pa.... Dili ko mo promise ug mga butang kay basin dili naho mapanindigan...And lastly SORRY kung dili ni naho ma ingon nimo in person, kabalo naka...Never pa ko naka pag open ninyo ni Mama ug convo nga seryoso... Again, Happy happy forty one birthday...
I do not usually post that kinda shit...but...I had to learn that the people who seem the most prude probably often are kinky...my girlfriend and I seem like the least sexual people (literally got compared to Sheldon and Amy from "The Big Theory"), but - how do I put it -I never punched anyone as hard as I've spanked her...for example. For some reason that is beyond my humble understanding, she seems to really enjoy that sort of stuff, and, according to her, I seem to be very good at that...I'm constantly gazing into a subconcious abyss of perversion...and, ashamed of myself, I have to admit that I like it, too...
Today i woke up pretty early and got an appointment for my job interview, which i am really exited and really nervous about. for a change, i made breakfast. not only was it relatively healthy for a change, but it was also quite good, plus i didnt made a mess out of the kitchen like i usually do when i cook. And on top of all that, when i looked out of my open window, i saw big fluffy flakes of snow falling from the sky. And this made me think. Maybe this will be the change i so desperatly needed in my life. I often got told that i would have depression, and that i need help. But i know for a fact, that thats not true. You cant cure depression, but you can cure a shitty life, and i may have found the remedy. I still got a bit of time before i have to start my old job for the last few months this year again. So i can get my drivers license, get the job for september, and finish a piece of work i started last year. This is the first time i can say this is it without suicidal intend.
The older and more aware of the world I get, the more and more I hate being born as a woman. As much as I try to be positive, I can't find one single thing that I prefer about being female. Just to clear up any confusion: this isn't me saying that I'm trans. This also isn't me declaring that being a woman is shit and that everyone should hate it; I simply, with my own values, tastes and wishes, can't find any good thing in it. The constant fear when going anywhere at night. The periods. The pressure of wanting to look good. Having a slightly lower chance of having a good career. Having to go through carrying and giving birth to a child if you want one. Being judged for way more stuff than men are being judged for. The list goes on. I am bitter about this and I know I shouldn't be. But I am.
Has anybody else ever been exhausted by an ex? Our relationship ended 3 years ago and he’s still stuck on me. He was talking to me and some other girl at the same time for about a year before we were official. I asked him multiple times if he had any feelings for the other girl or if he liked her and he was adamant they were just friends. I’m not a jealous person and never had a problem with him talking to her especially since we were friendly to each other. We never hung out together but we were Facebook friends and followed each other on IG. All was good at the beginning between me and my now ex until he started behaving shadily. He would tell me he’s doing one thing but his friends or social media show different. He was acting very vague with short 1-3 word replies, on the phone he didn’t say much, in person he was really secretive and seemed like he was in his own world. The final straw was when we made plans to hang out and he canceled to “study”. Turns out he was hanging out with the other girl and it wasn’t the first time, he did it our whole relationship. He told me the entire time they don’t hang out anymore, they barely talk, they only text here and there to check up on each other. Basically when he wasn’t with me he was with her. Neither one of them would confirm if they ever hooked up or not but neither denied it so I’m pretty confident they did. He spilled all the beans on a lot of things so I broke up with him immediately and ever since then he will not move on. He keeps trying to talk to me saying I’m the love of his life, he wants to marry me, we’re meant to have children together and all this shit. Our relationship lasted less than a year so its funny how he was juggling the 2 of us the entire time and all of a sudden we’re supposed to be married and have kids? WHAT! We weren’t anywhere near that stage when the relationship was good. But he just womt give up. He messages me all the time and shows up at my work “to get lunch” at least twice a week. It’s literally exhausting having this man bothering me all the time. I’ve told him I’m not interested but he wont let it go. Every time I block him he finds a way .
Today is my birthday ❤️
Oi!!! Jay, gwapo ka sa imo jacket rn...Smile pa nimo nga kahayag sa akong ngitngit nga kinabuhi...(Challan)😂 Bitaw gi mingaw jd ko nimo, dugay man ka ni balik ug iskwela..Nag unxa man ka sa Davao huh?! Nanakay uyab noh... huhuhuhu...okay lang, Kebs ra...😥 Ang baboy nga gimingaw kay crush... -MonMon