The only reason for why I'm not ending my life tonight is because I don't want my boyfriend to have to come home to a pool of blood with my lifeless body in it. To be honest, I never knew I was so selfless. Always thought of myself as quite a narcissist.
So I was thinking about the virus today and how rediculous these rules are and how rediculous some people are acting about it... so based on the rules in place (in my country at least) and what the dummies keep saying. We should be terrified of this virus, it's smarter than a lot of humans. It know whether we're sitting or standing, it knows WHY we're travelling, it can tell who's a Christian and who's just going to a grocery store. It can't tell whether the person your kissing is your grandmother or someone you're hooking up with. It can tell whether your wearing a paper mask, cloth mask or shield. It also knows your political beliefs because the only ones getting sick are trump supporters cuz you catch it from carelessness and they are careless. unless someone else gets sick, then the fool proof plan "was never meant to stop it, just prevent it. So of course you can still get sick". Oh yeah, it also knows the difference between 20 family members and 20 protesters. Only family catch it right? This virus is so dangerous 😫 they're so right. A virus this intelligent is going to ruin us.
I had posted a question: When choosing to do something (that isn't harmful to yourself and others), is it better to do it because you want to, or because you can? (opinions welcome) I thought about that question and searched inside myself for the answer. Here is what I came up with: * If you want to accomplish something do it. * If you don't want to accomplish something, but you know you can do it, do it. * If you don't know you can accomplish something, see if you can do it, and even if you failed, you can say you accomplished trying. (opinions still welcome)
For the past week and a half, I would go to bed at about 11:00 pm, and wake up at 2:45 or 3:00 am. I would try to fight to go back to sleep, by laying around for hours, until 7:00 am. I am writing this now, and it is 3:48 am. I have been up since about 2:41 am. After I finish this confession, I am getting up and not going back to bed until night.
I want to be used until I cant take it anymore
I want to change, but I don't know what for?
When choosing to do something (that isn't harmful to yourself and others), is it better to do it because you want to, or because you can? (opinions welcome)
I have nothing that I am truly passionate about. I don't have the urge for anything. I don't know if I am depressed or not.
I had a thought, that after death, you start the same life over again. I used to think that because of "de ja vu". If that were true, I would try to make better choices. Of course that isn't true, just a thought.
I know that there is a saying, "you have nobody to blame but yourself". The irony is that you can give credit to those that have wronged you, when you have become a better person from it. Sometimes, I don't know which one is really right.