Though I'm two years older than my sister, I sometimes ask her advice on what to do in social situations, and also stuff like "Did anything I say sound rude in the conversation we were just in?". So I'm acting more like a little sister and I think I shouldn't. I asked her if it's a bother that I keep asking her that stuff and she said no, but I still think I should stop doing it. Not knowing if I've been behaving in an acceptable way makes me anxious, though, but in most situations there's no one to ask about it so I think I should get used to the uncertainty.
There are many debates going on.... One of the biggest is : is drug addiction a disease? A lot of people have so much sympathy for drug users and say it's a disease when people tell them they knew the consequences when they tried it. These defenders even compare it to diabetes. But the funny thing is they don't have the same sympathy for those of us who suffer from depression and have chosen to not numb our emotions and just feel it all.. While letting the emotions kill us slowly. We're told to get over it or do something to distract us from our pain. And when one of us can't take it anymore and we commit suicide, they are met with such back lash and called selfish .. I mean no sympathy at all.. But someone overdoses and it's "oh poor thing had a disease". Fuck any of you who have sympathy for people who are too pussy to face their demons/emotions and numb them, and rag on poor people who are so overcome with sadness that even getting out of bed is a struggle. Depression is a real thing. If we had more understanding from those around us, it would help. Keep coddling drug abusers and guess what? More people will be doing drugs. I didn't ask to have crippling depression. I force myself to be happy but deep down its just a facade. Y'all hooked on drugs asked for it. You went out of your way to do it. So y'all who defend drug users with your life while shitting on depressed people are useless. Go befriend a drug addict and don't cry when they steal all your shit and sell it for drugs ✌🏼️✌🏼
I'm really embarrassed to talk about this but I have to. There are so many things I've done to get attention IRL - tried to change my personality to what I thought would be "cooler" (which only got people to bully me), imitated tropes from cartoons/anime/other media, exaggerated the symptoms of my mental illnesses... Most of these I did when I was a kid/teen, but sometimes I still catch myself thinking if people would find me more interesting if I seemed "stoic", for example (STUPID, right?) or if I could get more sympathy from my family if I seemed more depressed than usual. This is all really selfish.
I have no regrets in being an under achiever and having my life to a complete stand still since I left school. No job, no gf, very few friends. I don't feel bad, is that weird?
I cleared out my table. It's nice to have room to put things on...
When going incognito, you know how there's always a note on how it won't make you invisible online and that whoever set up the network you're in still has access to what you've done? Yeah, I'm worried that my parents are gonna find out about my thousand and one weird-ass kinks. Doesn't help that they're as conservative as can be when it comes to sex.
I only like plain cheese when it's grated
Sometimes I have trouble falling asleep because I'm worried I'll stop breathing. Like I'll forget or something. I try to remember that time my mom told me I can't forget to breathe. My body will do it automatically. But it still worries me. Knowing death is this inevitable thing but we still don't have solid proof what happens next, it freaks me out.
Dreams are so complex and absurd that it's almost hard to believe that they come from our own brain. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have access to this side of our imagination while awake?
Okay, I've posted about this before but my lazy eye is really getting on my nerves these days. Without glasses, I can't focus my eyes without squinting, but sometimes even the glasses don't keep them straight. And when I don't wear glasses - let's say I'm reading in the sauna, for example - my eyes stay crossed for minutes without me noticing, and when I do notice it's because it hurts. I still can't afford a surgery though. By the way, I think there could be a "frustrated" tag on confesster.