Cleaning gives me some semblance of purpose. People think I'm over working myself on chores, but I find joy in it.
I'd kick the shit out of my younger sibling simply out of the fact that they're utterly obnoxious if it wouldn't make them grow up to be an asshole. I restrain myself in hopes that they'll fix themself one day, but if they don't, that ass beating is fair game.
Late nights alone, awake when everyone else is asleep, doesn't have the same feelings as they use to. I was once a proud creature of the night, but now it's like I don't even know this realm anymore. Shame, it was the only place I could really feel in place.
Food makes me feel shame. Eating makes me feel shame. My body makes looking at myself feel shameful.
I’m 22. The guy at work is 36. He’s so sweet, a little awkward sometimes. His eyes are beyond enchanting. I like the way he looks at me. Like he’s trying to figure me out or something. Like he wants me. My boyfriend doesn’t look at me like that. I don’t feel desired. He doesn’t care when I wear lingerie. He doesn’t care about trying new things in bed. He doesn’t care when I do something different with my hair or makeup. He says that I’m always beautiful to him. It just doesn’t feel that way.
oH whY doNt yoU waNt cHilDren? Bruv shut the fuck up. Do People not know about genetics? Do you not know what happens if the wrong people reproduce? Im ugly, i have serious, and i mean that, mental problems, and i am dumb to the point where i forget how to breathe. Do you seriously think i want to give a child the problems i had? tf outta here w that bs
I wonder if it's bad for my body that I'm in a fetal position so often. I do it pretty much any time I'm alone at home and sitting, including when I'm studying or reading which can mean hours of staying in that position at a time. Why I have the tendency to do this is because the position is most comfortable for me. I also like keeping my legs curled up, when I'm not in fetal position I tend to sit on my heels.
this happened like 1 year ago : a man about in his thirtys maybe fortys said "I wanna fuck my daughter (or maybe it was "step daughter ") again " I still haven't let it go
I decided to finally see a therapist, it's definitely going to break the bank. But I feel lonely and anxious and I have no friends or family I can trust with my problems. And my only friend is my husband, and he can't understand what I'm feeling no matter how much I tried. I'm not going to tell him I'm going to see a therapist though.
Watching My 600 Pound Life makes me crave donuts, milkshakes, pie, and pizza...