I've decided to start working out. It'd be nice to be a little skinnier, but really I just want to get healthier. Diabetes runs in my family, on both sides. My mom was overweight and could never lose much weight. I don't want to be like that. I did a workout routine with an app tonight, but I just had to accept my limitations. I haven't been to a gym in years and haven't done any sit ups since 10th grade - almost 10 years ago. I couldn't get all the way up during the crunches, so I settled for getting as far as I could and tapping my knees. I could barely do a push up. I didn't want my boyfriend to hear me jumping and shaking the floor for the jumping jacks, so I had to look up an alternative for jumping jacks. Technically the alternative is meant for people who can't jump, but it gets the job done either way. I'm tired and a little sore, but it feels good.
I have friends, but we never have time to see each other or even talk hardly. I have family, but I've distanced myself from a lot of them because they're toxic. I have animals, but they're just... not the same. I feel like I'm by myself all the time. I never have people to share things with or talk to or do things with. I just wish I wasn't so damn lonely.
I've been carelessly eating these past couple weeks and shocker I've gained 5 pounds -_-
I made the most humiliating typo earlier. I was trying to have a picture from my old phone blown up and the brother of my sisters best friend does photography and knows how to do that type of thing. I deleted all the pictures except the ones I wanted blown and gave him my old phone. He texts me about an hour later with a picture showing a particular size and I replied back “I want it nigger” instead of “I want it bigger” keep in mind he’s black so I’m like fuuuuck me. I apologized literally a million times i was so embarrassed even though it was an honest mistake it just looks and sounds so ugly. When I saw him i person I apologized again a million times.. why they gotta put the “N” next to the “B” and why don’t I spell check before i send.
I’m a nympho, maybe sex addict? Idk I have a boyfriend and I’m just constantly thinking about sex and wanting to have a threesome but he doesn’t seem too keen on the idea.
I was alone for a long time. Now, I'm not alone. I hope we get married, and our life together gets better and better everyday.
My apartment is entirely made of wood and I live in a second floor. Literally when you walk, people knows where youre going or what youre doing. They know if youre in the bathroom with sound if the doors or about to sleep or still awake. My neighborhood basically have a bunch of kids. And I have a tendency to sleep late because of work and sometimes i would walk around to ease the stress. But i feel bad because the little girl sleeping below gets to wake up and cry from fear of hearing my foot steps so i feel bad. And im scared that the neighbor down stairs knock at us again and we get kicked out... i heard her cry again below and the mom seemed very patient from the suffering of our foot steps. That little girl is so sweet though..
All the leaves are brown 🍁
I ran a mile today and after that, I'm sleepy and I couldn't do homework anymore.. My brain is just hella fried....
I get very frank with people and It's hard for me to be serious.. Not sure why.... So when I was presenting my ideas, I keep saying jokes to people out of no where. They're not like a toxic or offensive joke. People laugh but I feel bad because I feel like I'm not professional...