I hate my dad. He may pay rent and food but he never tought me anything and he doesn't even let me lough :(
I wonder how it took me 2 months to write 5761 words for my proposal and just an hour for 1028 words of fictional bullshit
**Warning: Explicit** I confess that my boyfriend is way more into anal sex than I am. I mean I love taking dick in my ass, and even fucking him in the ass, but he's really into like... eating ass, which I'm not into. I let him do it to me because it gets him so turned on, but I refuse to put my tongue on his asshole. I can't do it. I won't do ass to mouth with his dick, I won't lick his fingers after they've been in my ass. It smells gross, it's gross. And he's really into farting, too. Which I don't have a problem with, but I can't make myself fart in front of people. I've peed myself trying. Our sex life is still great and our relationship is great, but to be honest, I feel bad that I can't fulfill these needs for him. I wish I was into it, I wish I could do these things for him. But I am actively turned off by it.
I'm afraid, I couldn't make it in time. I am just at the beginning of my thesis and I have to finished it before april. I just... I don't know.. I am afraid I'll end up disappointing more people, especially the people I love
I'd love to say I'm over the fact that my best friend fucked the guy I was in love with for over 4years and then lied about it for 9months... but I'm not.... we've had a good 6months now where I've been civil and not brought it up. but tonight I fucking couldn't do it. I'm tired of feeling like no one gives a shit about me and that they think it's ok to hurt me, lie to me and mock me. fucking sick of this shit. maybe it's just cuz I'm drunk but these feelings are just to intense right now and i'm just fucking bitter and pissed off. how can I trust either of them. I said I forgave them. and maybe sober me did. but fuck I'm so tired of this shit. maybe I'm jealous, maybe I'm not. but either way I feel betrayed, neglected and lied to.
I know it sounds crazy but I can't stop to do it. I always track my boyfriend and stalk his ex girlfriend. I'm really jealous of their happy unforgettable memories (They had been together for 10 years). My boyfriend still keep the girl's photos and T-shirt! Miserable!
if it's not some embarrasing passed, it would be death possibilitis that just rushed into my mind before I sleep. Good night :)
I really wish that I wasn't pansexual. Being pansexual is shitty. Homosexuals dislike you or think that you would 'totally' be okay with a threesome. Or make stupid jokes that aren't even the least bit creative. Lesbians dislike you too. It seems to be a turn off for them if the girl they're dating could also gain pleasure from a man's private parts. Bisexuals get more media attention, but they judge us too. They can't figure out why us pansexuals don't just come out as bisexual instead. Media forgets we exist and when they do spot us, they're quick to pull the trigger on us. And everyone thinks we're cheaters and the sort to sleep around for fun.
In beginning of 2019 i start training to compete in fighting, i was never as happy as that, i started feeling confident and having friends and i had something i loved to work everyday, but i forgot that people around you have malevolence and don't want you to do good. 2 weeks before competition, this black-belt guy used the technique drills to sneak in punches behind my head, i got dizzy and the next day i started seeing black dots in my vision and feeling dizzy and blacking out by any movement or disturbance. i could not fight now , and i lost my whole year. now in holidays my whole family comes and i had nothing to show them, no success, just a wasted year and now i'm brain damaged, they all judge me negatively now and as a failure. the guy who hit me, i was dominating him in sparring sessions, so he tried to hurt me during technique drills. i should have killed him in sparring when i had the chance, and retired him. this was all my fault because i didn't listen to my intuition, my subconscious kept telling me everything i needed to do not train with this guy because he was gonna try to hurt me, and i didn't listen, now i lost everything
Sloth and Lust are deadly combinations of sins. Unfortunately, I have both.