im trying to eliminate flour products and grain and its so hard and theres no food for me in the house . my mom and family are desintegrating and im too, we only ate flour everyday our whole life and sugar, no wonder we are so sick always of everything and breaking down... what are they doing to us fuck... regardless i have to stay focused and ill start feeling better, i was thinking of eating a really fatty cut of beef today but dont know how to cook really , and if i cook everyone gonna be like omg what u cooking hurr durr were your family were retarded hurr durr what what were gonna ask what youre doing so we can dismiss it hurr durr were retarded thats how they act cuz they suck
After a whole month of not cutting myself i did it again. i hate myself i dont want to live anymore. my boyfriend and friend started to tell me that the way I love is wrong and saying this like people don't show their love like that . I wish I had the courage to tell this to thier face: I'm sorry that I'm nothing like you and I'm afraid to show people love because its always tured against me .I'm sorry I can't be normal like you because you haven't been through what I have, sorry I can't be someone you want sorry I can't be perfect for you
Somtimes I just want to give up and leave all social media (especially Facebook and Snapchat) permanently and leave them all behind. They aren't good places for me to be especially since nothing good ever comes out of using these apps or anywhere else online for that matter in my experience. Every time I get online (95% of the time) it's always a terrible experience. ☹
I'm feeling so exhausted today. I want to die
IJUST.WANNA.BE.LOVED.BUT.NOT.BY THE.PERSON.WHO.CURRENTLY. LIKES. ME.
Repeat after me I DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY! I DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY! I DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY! I CAN SAY NO, AND THAT'S FINE. THERE FEELINGS DO NOT MEAN MORE THEN MY COMFORT! BEFORE I CAN HELP OTHERS I HAVE TO BE OKAY FIRST! I MATTER I WILL NOT NEGLECT MY FEELINGS.
I thought I was doing okay with my body imige and all. But this last week (despite the fact that my weight has stayed constant) I've suddenly started to hate my body again. But I can never seem to shift enugh weight. So I'm stuck in this pattern and it sucks. I think it is the reason I can't find a relationship. But honestly I just don't want to look gross.
My sister likes to hold grudges with people
I have problems of having my cat with my family. My mom got really attached to my cat that my mom won't let me have my cat when I move out. But I told her that it's for my cat's better mental health because my older brother abuses her. My brother sorta have some sort of violent behaviors where he constantly forces my cat to do certain things when it's completely obvious my cat hates it. My brother swears at my cat a lot. I feel bad because my cat doesn't have a short temper and hiss but is always anxious whenever my brother is around. I am really pissed at my brother and I constantly tell him to stop because it's my cat and he constantly argues back saying it's a family cat. He constanly ignores my requests and is just callously does whatever pleases him. My brother is the kind of person that has no reaction to things and is always blank. I tell my mom this and she just says my brother is tired and needs an outlet and I already told him this and that. It's annoying because she ignores the fact that there's something wrong with my brother and why I'm leaving with my cat is because I'm a little uncomfortable with him. And also I hate the fact that there's so much pride in my family that they all sound delusional as possibly even my brother is like that and possibly why my cat gets anxious. But if I leave and take the cat, my mom will constantly give me this guilt feelings and it's so hard to cut then of because I don't really understand why...
I wish I thought I was atteactive.