i just ate so much junk food. i feel sick, and i was already sick, and my stomach hurty. i have actual food like vegetables and bacon to make a stew but im so dont want to, im renting a room in a persons house and they make me feel bad if i use the stove
I know I am deeply depressed. I had tried different things to distract myself from suicide which would only work for months then I need to find new distractions to not kill myself. I found hatred to keep me alive and been working for a year & half. Also, I made a promised to someone that I haven't fulfill so it is keeping me alive too. Recently, hatred is almost not enough reason to kill myself. My family and relatives are abusive, manipulative and emotional abuser which also made me depressed. They are so toxic too. I want to kill myself already to end everything. Because of hatred, I said to myself that I will be the one to see them die and buried. But I badly want to kill myself now
I love my boyfriend but recently I am not getting turn on and don't enjoy sexual activities with him. I think it's because he doesn't take care of himself physically. I know it should always be personality over physical look. Still though, it is important to take care of yourself even if it's the least important. -> He would complain being overweight and he always say he needs to go do exercise or start going to gym the next day or week. Before he even starts, he then would say it hurts his body and muscle so he won't do it. ----------> He always use plastic bags for his clean clothes when he needs to bring some. I bought him a bag over a year ago, but never uses it. I asked if he didn't like it, he said he just forgets to use it but likes it. ----------> His clothes are worn out, really old and faded already. He doesn't want to buy new ones and doesn't want me to buy him some new ones. He also wear these daily worn out clothes for parties....
I fucking hate my dad hes an abusive manipulative piece of shit who beat my mom when they were married and tried to kill her but for some retarded reason hes not in jail and whenever we visit him he reeks of weed and is basically a Latino man karen. i hate that I used to want my parents back together just cause I was the only kid in my elementary class with divorced parents. He told me about his abusive childhood and how he was a victim of sexual abuse, which i know is an explanation for how he acts now but its no fucking excuse. whatever i just really dont wanna be around him and him to just fucking die already
I can't fit in nowhere and keep gett iij ng fired from jobs. i I just wanna kill myself.
every boy i talk to they say im ugly. it really never effected me untill there was this boy he was really cute and he seemed diffrent from all the other guys i had crushes on he was funny nice and kind but then i ask him do u want to date he said no i ask him why he said i was ugly then i had a full mental break down i tried to kill myself 3 times and i ended up in a mental hospital i cried myself to sleep for months and looked myself in the mirror everyday i tried to say i was pretty but i couldent i knew i was ugly and i still feel the same i will always be ugly and i will never find love
i had this one teacher that would make fun of the way i smell despite the fact that i showered myself raw everyday. I had a naturally bad smell. he would compare the bad way i smell to other smelly things loudly and it was humiliating. he also made fun of the way i talked. i talked with no confidence because i didnt have any. it was the second last class of the day and the stress caused me to half ass the last class of the day and i ended up with a 1 digit grade in the last class. i didn't really care at that point and i still dont. i still wish death upon him for emotionally crippling me which has ruined my will to feel motivated.
when i think about Rose is hurts too much i feel pain inside so much
Bf and me had a double date with my friend and her bf. I hadn't seen her in ages so was looking forward to it. My bf agreed to it last week and whenever we talked about it he was cool with going. Fast forward to today, an hour or so before we are to meet them and he keeps pulling a pissed off expression. I question him on it, he says that he's not sure about going, he said that he didn't want to go to it and that he doesn't even want to talk or chat, socialise with them. I tell him to decide what he's doing because I don't want to force him to go if he really doesn't want to, but still he won't properly make his mind up about what he's doing. Fast forward a bit we're literally on the way to meet them at this point and he still won't make up his mind, even though I've repeatedly asked him. Finally I lose my shit because we're due to be meeting them in a few minutes, at this point, for this double date and he hasn't decided if he'll do it like he originally agreed to or if he'll leave before they come and I'll have to do it last minute on my own. I'm so annoyed that he's doing this to me - won't even make up his mind up and they were quite literally going to be there at any moment. I swore at him and yelled a bit, lost my shit just so annoyed by the messing around, he won't give me any straight answer or anything and they're going to be here literally any minute. At this point he still hasn't made his mind up if he will back out of this double date and has the check to be pissed that I'm pissed with him. Just as I lose my shit more at him, my friends come round the corner and see. Yep that was an awkward double date for me.
gonna watch some ufc toniteee at my homies!!! apparently theres gonna be some girls and im super intimidated by that and dont know what to do, really scared. but i guess im just gonna take shower and put nice clothes and show up i guess??? i dont have nice clothes tbh.. i should hve thought about this more.. today i just trained in the morning and slept all day.