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In beginning of 2019 i start training to compete in fighting, i was never as happy as that, i started feeling confident and having friends and i had something i loved to work everyday, but i forgot that people around you have malevolence and don't want you to do good. 2 weeks before competition, this black-belt guy used the technique drills to sneak in punches behind my head, i got dizzy and the next day i started seeing black dots in my vision and feeling dizzy and blacking out by any movement or disturbance. i could not fight now , and i lost my whole year. now in holidays my whole family comes and i had nothing to show them, no success, just a wasted year and now i'm brain damaged, they all judge me negatively now and as a failure. the guy who hit me, i was dominating him in sparring sessions, so he tried to hurt me during technique drills. i should have killed him in sparring when i had the chance, and retired him. this was all my fault because i didn't listen to my intuition, my subconscious kept telling me everything i needed to do not train with this guy because he was gonna try to hurt me, and i didn't listen, now i lost everything

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  • You're not a failure because someone attacked you. That isn't your fault. You didn't waste a year, you spent a year doing something you loved. You should file charges against that guy for assault or even attempted murder, and then find a new hobby that you can devote your time and your love to.

  • Don't have to worry about your family members, those who loves you will be sad, but that's because they care. About that guy, You learn some new things from him, it's gonna make you stronger. There's next year competition.

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Sloth and Lust are deadly combinations of sins. Unfortunately, I have both.

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I know that you love me. Why you hide and lie to me about it? Im not blind I can see it in your eyes that spark when you look at me... What are you afraid from? Just dont get you.

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I'm pissed off right now because some trifling ass bitch was running her mouth about me to my ex and twisting my words, telling him I said things I didn't. I'm still friends with him so I'm upset that he's gonna be mad at me over something I didn't fucking say because what she said to him was hurtful and rude. I hate gossip.

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I hate you more often than I should.

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I.. like a person in a higher grade, and she has a bf, and like I just wanna see her happy but I think she hates me now..

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I hate it when people ask if something's wrong, no, everything's wrong..

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I just hate myself so much...

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Im gonna be completely honest, I've been really sad for a couple of years now, maybe three. I tried to overdose once, and not anything else yet but my suicidal impulses are getting worse and I don't want to tell anybody like a counselor because I don't want my parents to now that I used to harm myself. I don't really need help on this I just needed to get it off my chest.

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  • A doctor isn't allowed to tell your parents what you tell them unless you are actively going to harm yourself. If you mention that you used to cut or tried to kill yourself or hell tell them that you're gay, they are legally not allowed to discuss it with your parents. It might be a little different if you're under 18, but still, a good therapist won't betray your trust that way. Please get help if you can. You don't have to go through this alone.

  • But with help, you could be happy again...give it a shot, for yourself

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There's this guy that I've told to go fuck himself and almost beat him cause he snapped at me. The fuck I care if he had cancer? He acts like an asshole to everyone. And when one of my exes was getting back at me when she was sleeping with other guys he sided with her but she didn't never even had sex with him. Lmfao what a loser! Now he has no friends cause he pissed off a ton of people. Serves him right.

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  • I hate how some people just blame everything on cancer

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