I cant use my phone at work.. sometimes i just take my phone and sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes and relax a little bit while i play candy crush or surf on the internet.. it makes me hate my job less..
I can't stop thinking about the girl I raped. I don't even know why I did it, she wasn't even attractive. I apologized so many times, but I know it will never be enough. I ruined an innocent girls life. she was only 16. So was I, but it doesn't matter how young I was, I was still in complete control of my actions. Jesus, I just want to fucking die.
My mom ticks me tf off. I changed professions, meaning i can move out in 2 or 3 years. But she forcibly wants to move right now. Right now we live in a huge flat, for a really cheap price. We have a big bathroom with a shower that isnt just a modded bathtub, we have 3 big rooms for our own, mom, sister and me, a functioning kitchen, legit everything else you need for a living, and the neighbours would be nice too if she didnt decided to fuck that up. They still like me because i made something out of myself, such a good boy blabla, basic stuff. The only thing thats kinda broken are the pipes. sometimes the heater fails so it gets a little cold and we have no warm water. But thats only a problem for the winter, but she claims its the major thing why she wants to move, aside from the whole neighbor situation. And on top of that, moving wouldnt be a problem if she wouldnt be such a spoiled brat. oh i want a balkony. and a garden. and a bus stop right in front of my door. Get realistic woman, thats luxury you just cant afford. And the possible places she looked out for are even more expensiv because of balcony and garden. bs. a whole lot of bs. fuck you.
I wish my brain would quit whispering lies to my heart, telling me I'm not good enough and never will be. Trying to convince me that everyone would be better off without me. Making me worry that things won't ever actually get better and all this work will be for nothing. I know it's not true, I KNOW it's not, but a small part of me can't help but doubt, can't stop myself from wondering 'What if I'm right? What if I really should just die and save myself and everyone the trouble?' and I hate it. I don't want to think these things. I don't want to die, I don't want to give up, I don't want to hate myself. Why can't I shake these thoughts?
I'm so annoyed. I finally got out of a depressive funk and wanted to take a shower. I even warmed up the water. I go to close the shower curtain and one side of the rod slips. I tried to fix it and the whole thing fell down. I have no idea why the person who built this house put a shower head in here but no permament shower curtain rod. All it would take is a few screws but nooo, our landlord won't let put holes in the wall.
How the fuck do I get rid of my constant anger? I've tried exercise, breathing techniques, smashing stuff that I don't need anymore, yelling and cussing in the woods... They haven't worked so far. What should I do?
why she must be here oh God...
My roommate such an asshole! I want to slap her face
I don't know what is wrong with me. I'm often secretly hate people eventhough i have no idea about them. I just think that they're bad person for me, and when I knew, the bad side of them appears.
I need advices. So my father is cheating on my mother. I know it is their problem and I shouldn't meddle. But. But this slut just sent my youngest sister hurtful words and telling her she is a thick face for even messaging our father using our dad's phone. MY MOM AND DAD STILL LIVES TOGETHER WITH OUR SIBLINGS, not living with the slut or not because my dad has a new family. So my youngest sister is hurt and crying, I know it isn't our dad since the style of text/format is different. I am trying to let it go and still not meddle. Then this slut would stop our dad giving school fees. Money isn't a problem at all but now whenever there's school fees to pay, the slut would non-stop text my dad. (I can say that because no one texts my dad multiple times and my dad doesn't look at his phone multiple times and if it's for work, they always call or message once. Our father used to asked us to check his phones for any update from work if he is doing something). Nowadays, our father won't even give them for meals (it isn't like that before the slut came). So what do I do now?