If I think you're considering leaving I'm gonna leave first. No matter how I feel.

Ei jaksais enää, mutta mitä muutakaan voi kun ei halua kuolla. Voi nyt perhana, ei tästäkään ole mitään hyötyä.

I've just discovered that my sister has a huge debt because of 2 credit cards that she owns. Around 20 000 euros. Before you think that she's stupid she had no choice but to use them. We live in a poor country where wages are low and taxes are high. There's no way to save money unless you live like a monk and have no utilities expenses. And my ex brother in law is an asshole that doesn't help her a bit, never did. My mother and I live in the same house and it was given as colareral for the loan for my sister's current house, possibly repossession is in . I don't how this problem is going to be fixed. I'm not playing the blame game because that doesn't solve anything.

I hate the North Carolina unemployment office. My area got hit by hurricane Florence over 2 months ago. My work was closed for almost a month and is still recovering. So they told us to file a disaster unemployment claim. So I did. I had to file online because their call center was always backed up. I've never had to file unemployment or go through a natural disaster so I had no idea what to do, and my job told us to talk with NC Employment Security with questions about filing. I filed it, tried to follow their instructions, but it was confusing. It was asking me to fill out weekly job contacts and submit a resume, even though I didn't need a new job. I still had a job, I just had to wait until the building reopened. So I tried calling but I was on hold for an hour each time. After waiting for an hour, it hung up on me. I didn't lose signal, I didn't hang up, their phone system just released the call with no warning. One time it asked if I wanted a call back, I said yes. When I got the callback, no one was there. I couldn't hear anything. I waited for over 2 minutes, repeatedly asked for a response and if they had their phone muted. Nothing. So I hung up. I'm sick of it. My sister in law told me she finally got through, the rep was rude and told her she missed answering some questions. Where those questions are, I don't know because their instructions on what to do freaking suck. I'm just going to email them now and hope it's not too late to get my money. I filed 2 months ago, it's not my fault they're understaffed and can't give better instructions to do it yourself. Why not just record instructions on what to do when you file, and have an option to press for that? Instead of just saying the fastest and easiest way to file is online. I know that you dumb machine. What I don't know is why this stupid freaking form is acting like I'm actually unemployed and no one can pick up the damn phone.

I'm so sick and tired of believing in a catholic religion. My parents always force me to go to church, pray the rosary... I want to leave sooo bad. I wanted to quit college, work, and just that. I want a peace of mind from school stress and them telling me to do this and that. I don't believe in that religion for a sole purpose of trying to know what I really believe in. And I should've went to mainland for college if it werent my mom sabotaging my application then... But it's too late.... I'm living lies from other people just because even my inner self is a lie. My belief is a lie. I pretend that I believe in a catholic religion when I don't. Can't they just let me go? I want to leave... I'm fine being homeless if I could because fuck these people.. As much as I want to respect the people and the religion but I can't because even the people that cares for me don't even respect me.. well fuck you all catholics and fuck your shit!

Why do I try and reach out to my ex friends even today? It's been over three years since I walked away from them. Now they don't want anything to do with me anymore.

November 23, 2018 Whenever I start or want to do something enthusiasticly it feels like mother always stop me to do just because she thinks it is not right according to her traditional beliefs and own satisfaction. It's tiring. I want to see the world, explore, widen my circle. But I am stuck here because mother thinks it's safe from where I am which is here with her. I want to take risk and learn. I think sometimes the place where you think is safe is not really safe. I am starting to hate my mother but I know I don't have the right. But what she does to me makes me feel depressed and stuck. I want to go away so bad but at the same time I don't want to hurt her and father. I am so messed ): halp.

I don't get why so many people love The Office (US). I couldn't even get through the first episode. It was just so cringy and I didn't think it was funny. My boyfriend said it gets better but I don't want to struggle through the first season or skip it. There are plenty of shows that are watchable from the first to the last episode. I'll just watch one of those instead. Or try the UK version since I've heard it's better.

I hate creating accounts online because I find coming up with a password troublesome, but I don't want to use the same password and create a safety risk. As you might guess, I don't have many accounts.

my bosses brother is kind of sketchy. he comes into the workplace quite often and he puts off a really creepy vibe. all my coworkers feel the same. one said he's pretty sure he only goes after really young girls, like 19 or 20 (he's in his 50s). he's just really offputting. anyways had a nightmare the other night that he tried raping me... kind of forgot about that nightmare when I woke up, until I saw him walk into my work again. it all came flooding back and I had chills. I was disgusted and freaked out over him being there. even though it wasn't real...as if I wasnt already uncomfortable as it was, now I have a mental image of him actually trying something. I need a new job I think