I lately had to ask myself if i actually love my husband and truth is, i don't. There were feelings in the beginning, but time nd working together showed that he's the most sexist, egoistic, manipulating, lying, cheating bastard i've ever met. How the fck wasn't i able to see this before - just how? I really tried hard, it's been 3 years - but this feeling of dispise towards him won't go away - when we sleep together i feel like raping myself
i got into a fight with my sister, she apologized but said didnt regret it, i jumped at her and my mom began hitting me with a belt leaving marks, my dad went into a position that could have killed me. i am the blacksheep of the family but am i in the wrong? ps my mom hates me and my sister now....
I moved into my new room so i can start training, the room is honestly terrible, the walls are full of roles, everything is nasty from the previous renter, and theres no space to stretch legs at night, i sleep glued to the wall full of holes and bed is also pressed against those walls, so i feel a spider could show up at any moment. today i didnt get any sleep at all.. the shower was cold. my house where i left, my room was so good and fancy, everything of concrete, a king size bed, the shower was so strong and piping hot. i really miss those comforts, and worse of all, it's been 2 days and i STILL haven't had a training session.. but hopefully this week i can start the BJJ, im gonna basically spend all day at the gym because i dont want to come home lol. i think i'll come here only to sleep and thats it. i wish the wall didnt have so much holes. last night i was warm under my blankets, but my head was freezing. there are holes everywhere. i haven't showed my mom what it looks like, she would freak out so bad.. but i didn't have other option, i cant afford to not train for a whole year. otherwise i'll never go anywhere in this career, and i'll never be like Rose.. it sucks tho. the smell in the room is the worst part, it smells terrible :/ and i dont know even what smell it is. im gonna train tonight with my friend , i think being here with all these hardships without doing training is whats making me feel bad, cuz i knew it would be bad here, but if i can feel like my ninja skills are progressing then every hardship will feel worth it, because to me nothing matters rn other than getting better at my art, so i can be like my hero, Rose
im fucking tired of accidently offending everyone! Hey, it not like I meant any harsh feelings!
How to tell if a girl is stupid : she fully believes in feminist brainwashing and never questions anything. its good how vocal these feminists are, that way we can avoid all the useless, bitter, resentful, toxic women, and only hangout with people with kind heart and rational mind i still feel bad for the feminists tho. they're always so lost and empty inside, you can see in their eyes, when theyre screaming and arguing and being nasty they think they are soothing those feelings, but really only making it worse my sister was a normal person, she went to college and got fully brainwashed, now shes basically suicidal and needs pills to sleep, pills to function, pills for everything, and they dont work, shes miserable all the time and in terrible shape and health too... but she doesnt realize its linked to her toxic outlook on the world
Growing up, i always hated myself coz of wat other pipo said about me, especially my family. i was considered worthless, picked on, my dad knocked me around. i considered death as my only escape route and attempted suicide several times. at one time i swallowed a number of sleeping and hoped never to wake up. But ever since i started living on my own, i feel better n that's why i always dodge any family gathering or even meeting a relative 'cause i am afraid they still look at me the same way they looked at me back then.
ive become victim of some cyberbullying, i guess i shouldnt have shared information about me, but still its sad how dark people are, they wouldn't show their faces because they think badly of themselves. they say terrible things about my skills, but i know im good. i want to film some sparring and show them how it actually works, they are all a bunch of sad luke tomas watchers who never seen the inside of a gym
I'm a fucking idiot and hate myself for it
i just overheard my mum saying that if a girl dresses revealingly they deserved to get raped...WHAT THE FUCK 😀
i'm moving out to rent a room with some random family in their house, its not a pension or anything, im worried that it's gonna be really weird and theyre gonna judge me everyday worse than my family does and be annoying as hell... i want to be alone a lot especially renting a room, i dont want to be interacting with them a lot.. i dont like talking to strangers.. also, the ad for the room said ''room for straight or gay men'', like, why would they mention in the ad the sexuality of who theyre looking for? its just weird to me... if i was renting a room i dont want to know what ur into, plus im not allowed to bring guests anyway so why are they specificing this??? im worried that its some creeps who are looking for gay guys and are gonna hit on me :///