Well, it's August now. I posted a confession about 4 months ago that I was tired of COVID-19 and tired of all the negativity that comes with it. ...Yep. Still tired of it. I just want this shit to end.
im selling my pc this week and moving out with the money. im renting a pension room and sharing bathroom and kitchen , yuck! but at least i get out of this house and go chase my dream :p
I spent half an decade being your girlfriend. We had lots of good times and some not so good times.. Although to be honest, half the time I really only felt like a friend and not your girlfriend. Yes, you took me out places, and showed me beautiful spots, sunsets and sun rises. You would walk with me, but rarely hold my hand. My friends liked you, and I am sure your friends just tolerated me because I was with you. I know you have talked behind my back for I have heard and read. Yet, I have never talked behind you back. I had one so called bestie for a while, but she would purposely make me jealous and hit on you. Then I seen the messages between you both and that's what killed me. My heart was shattered, I lost a friend and part of my trust. I never once messaged someone like that while dating you. You have never found someone else's clothes in our room, like how I did. You denied my questions and said I was over reacting or over thinking. I would ask you for help, you would help me and I appreciated it. You would ask me for help, and I'd try and help but how you reacted always made me feel like it wasn't what you wanted, and got all mad. Our personal bedroom time seemed like it was always on your time, and I always picked the wrong time. All of that made my anxiety and depression show. I never wanted to talk about it because I was always emotional. I hated not explaining myself, but it was hard when you would get upset walk away or say I wasn't telling you the truth. At times you would make me happy and with warm fuzziness inside, but then at times you made me feel so low and not important. Even with the low times I can say I loved you through it all. It's been 4 months since we became single, only a few times I have seen you since and I enjoyed every minute. Although when I go home, in my room sitting in silence tears rolling down my face. I sit and think to myself how happy I would be and do things differently. This is my confession that I still deeply love and miss you
Sometimes, I wish other people hated me as much as I hate myself.
i'm ugly - my nose is big, my teeth is yellow plus rabbit teeth, my ear is weird, got skin disease, my oily dark skin, but it's okay i'm probably broken now, later in future things slowly get better and may puberty hit me well
I really don't see a point in a girl like me being online anymore as there are just way too many h*rny people online that it's ridiculous and it's not often that there are decent people out there that I can find who actually want something real (eg. a friendship that doesn't involve any kind of s*xting, trading n*des or dirty talk whatsoever) as they're extremely hard to find nowadays. It stinks that this is what the world has come to. Also, I'm not even sure why I'm writing this or posting this as there are also way too many careless people out there who only care about themselves.
tw my brother always tells me to kms as a joke and that I'm ugly and I shouldn't be here I dont think he means it but it still hurts am I being to sensitive I told him it hurts but he doesn't care
I swear if i see one more white person say the n word and theyre reasoning is that theres no black people around im gonna throw hands
I HATE people who say men cant be sexually assaulted, that we cant possibly have the fear of being raped while walking alone, that we dont know the feeling of never getting justice for your horrible expierience. just STOP. my dad was raped by a babysitter when he was 4 and was molested during his childhood until he was 14 and moved out. he never got justice. my friend was raped when he was 9. his rapist got a year in jail. Im lucky enough to never experience that but I just get so fucking angry when people say that bullshit
every little thing I do my brother is there to criticise me and tell me that im a worthless shit nobody wants. he beats me and nothing happens to him. I want to kill him I want him gone. my mum was mad at me when I said I wouldn't miss him when he left for college. he's gonna finally buy his own apartment in a few weeks and when im 18 im gonna move out of the state and get as far away as possible from that abusive piece of shit god I want to take a knife and stab that motherfucking failed abortion and shove that bloody thing up his ass then down his throat