I contracted some stupid virus, as I usually do around this time of year. I'm so over it, I'm tired of feeling like shit and looking pathetic. I just want it to go away.
Every time I see you I'm reminded of my failure with you, how I've stopped talking to you for no reason except my inability of having in my life as a friend. You're the most beautiful woman I ever met and I couldn't help myself to blew it.
Why am I in a constant bad mood?
I've been cutting myself for 12 weeks. My parents don't know and the one person who does know I lied to saying I've been clean.
Is there anyone that can speak malay language here? from malaysia and students. I need help.
I get really mad everytime I talk to my mom. Everytime I share something, she's always argumentative and always counterinterracts everything I say. Like "I realized this and that.." or "My friend shared me this.. and it makes me think". And she would always reply "No maybe this maybe that and I dont think and not that." Like I don't ask for an opinion or an arguement, I ask for a person listening. I just ask for "I see" or "ahh" or "okay". Like every damn time I talk to her. Even for a litle thing I ask for. I tried to confront her about it and she denies and says "I'm not this and I'm not that and she gives no reason why." And she's never willing to listen. She always says she's busy. But she puts time on nonsense things. And she's the type of person who would say "you should be this" or "you should do that" it makes me mad. It's like she always say the things what I should do not how I should do it.
I'm so pissed at my husband. I am on a journey to lose weight and get healthy. I go to the gym 5 days a week and do 45 minutes on the treadmill. I'm over 300, but working on losing it. Today my husband made a crass comment saying, "I'll know when you've lost the weight when you can wrap your legs around me when we fuck.". I've already lost over 30 pounds and hubby himself is over 300, so he had no room to talk. I just about snapped. At least I'm going to the gym and working out. He just had me fixing him chocolate milk every night and it always looking for something sweet to eat every night. He's being such a douche.
Being 12-13 and dealing with hormones and hating my body i really wanted a fast, easy way to lose weight, i thought a healthy diet and exercise would help but come to my surprise there were literal videos out there that helps you starve yourself, they even had tips and tricks to do it??! It was a complete how-to-be-anorexic-guide. im thankful that even my young little dumbass at that time called out on the bs
I kinda pretend that I'm OK with my best friend but the truth is that he's a ignorant lout that thinks that he is always right. He's blunt and sometimes lack tact and becomes somewhat rude and improper around people. Often he says things he shouldn't that are embarrassing to me in public places. Thank God I'm only with him once a week. More than that would be impossible to bear.
I hate this life. I'm just angry, angry that im human, angry that i live, that i had no say in that. Just woke up one day, gained consciousness to realize that theres no point to life. I just want it to end as fast and least painfully as possible. I hate that i think this way, but i dont believe that i can change this. It just gets worse day by day. Just turn it off already! Thank you!