my government is causing serious economic issues that we'll be trying to pay the next 100+ years. EI would have been sufficient during this pandemic. there was no reason to inflate the shit out of our money so that he can start handing it out like candy. and people are too blinded by the "free money" to realise nothing is ever free. this will cost us for generations.
Anyone kinda angry that all this pain, suffering, lost time, being locked down inside a house, fear, people dying, is ALL , LITERALLY , ONLY because Chinese people COULD NOT stop eating exotic wild animals? if they would eat beef chicken and fish like everyone else NONE OF THIS would be happening. And i know some worthless miserable sacks of shit are gonna say that this is RaCiSt but i don't give a fuck. maybe if we had been more RaCiSt the whole world wouldn't be suffering right now. If you're a chinese bat eater, go fuck yourself, i hope you fucking die a horrible death and your whole bat eating family dies so the world becomes a less horrible place.
I have a love hate relationship with the fact that my brain recently has started feeling like Sayori's goodbye "poem" in Doki Doki Literature Club.
Sometimes my self hatred gets so bad that i just want to slice myself to ribbons.
I have to get this off my chest, I feel so guilty and disgusting. I used to have a crush on my coworker, but got over it when my friend started dating him, and then even more so when their relationship went south and he showed his true colors. He's kind of not a good person under the surface. Today we had a going away party for him at work. He was giving out goodbye hugs, and when he offered me one, I accepted to be polite, because I'm still being cordial with him. And the second he had his arms around me, I just melted. A year ago, I would have died to feel his arms around me, but today, I'm in a happy relationship with a nearly perfect boyfriend and I recognize that I dodged a bullet with my former crush. But that hug felt so nice. He caressed my hair and held me for what felt like a very long time, and I felt so at home. And I hate that. Why did I feel that? Why did I react like that? I know I used to be in love with him, but I barely even like him as a human now, much less as a potential mate. But physically I'm still drawn in by him, his scent still makes my heart race, his voice still gives me shivers, his eyes still make me weak. Why? I'm so mad and disgusted with myself, not to mention I'm kind of freaked out that he touched me that way because caressing someone's hair is not something that happens in a casual, friendly hug. I feel guilty for liking it when I have a boyfriend. I feel guilty for, deep down, a tiny part of me still craving that touch again, just wanting him close to me, despite how I feel about him.
I want someone to push me over the line. I want someone to bring to to the point of no return. I walk around, do my job and smile at everyone but deep down, my blood boils and a sleeping dragon lies in wait to be awoken. I dont want to but DEEEP down I want to. to just let go and mercilessly beat someone's ass. let go of all this pent up rage and agression and fuck some bloke up who pushed me to the edge. I barely got to let go with my GF who thought it was a good idea to keep testing me despite my warnings. we had a big fight and she was getting aggressive with me. I told her "you get one free hit." and boy she used it. Weak. Pathetic. I take shits that hurt worse. after that I told her "you wont get another chance to hit me again." she tried. and I put her on her ass. I didnt hit her back, I try not to lay hands against females. but I didnt let her hit me again. and FUCK it felt so good to unwind a bit. dare I say it was borderline orgasmic? she kept trying to hit me and I kept putting her down and restraining her. But i felt it. deep inside. that urge to fight back. to lay into her face. to take in the sight of blood dripping from her mangled face, i was teetering on the cliffside. granted she started the entire argument and when I restrained her from punching me, she threatened to call the cops on ME. but I digress.
My greatest regret is repeating my mistakes for second time and only realizing the second time. My regret is that I adopted a cat without thinking and followed my impulse instead. My mom never wanted another cat especially a black cat. My cat almost killed the new cat. Now I have to drag my boyfriend into this and her mom whether they can keep the cat or not. It's irresponsible of me I know. And it's all my fault. I'm mad becauae I keep making mistakes. And now I'm waiting until morning until I can tirn the cat back to the shelter. She's a nice cat but i can't keep her.
my gf keeps saying she might be pregnant even thou we've only ever done it over our clothes :) (dry humping) her period is a week late :)))))
I call alot of people my "bestfriends" but truth is I've never had that close, intimate, soul connection with anyone before. Never knew what it felt like to be 100% comfortable with anyone, never had that kind of relationship with anyone where we could hit eachother up at 3 in the morning because we felt like shit that day , now that i think about it i never had anyone (minus one person) check on me or just want to catch up ever since graduation.
Sorry, but I need to let my anger out for just a second....I hate the ok boomer joke. I'm not a boomer, I'm only 19, the fuck!? Why does every SJW wh*te boy (sorry for being racist) I meet thinks I'm a wh*te middle aged man!? Seriously, what's up with these retarded ass generation jokes!? I'm soo done with this world! And Jacob, the only Jacob I know, wherever your ass is at...FUCK YOU!! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A HORSE'S DICK YOU HORNY-ASS TROLL OF A TEENAGER!!!