I have to get this off my chest, I feel so guilty and disgusting. I used to have a crush on my coworker, but got over it when my friend started dating him, and then even more so when their relationship went south and he showed his true colors. He's kind of not a good person under the surface. Today we had a going away party for him at work. He was giving out goodbye hugs, and when he offered me one, I accepted to be polite, because I'm still being cordial with him. And the second he had his arms around me, I just melted. A year ago, I would have died to feel his arms around me, but today, I'm in a happy relationship with a nearly perfect boyfriend and I recognize that I dodged a bullet with my former crush. But that hug felt so nice. He caressed my hair and held me for what felt like a very long time, and I felt so at home. And I hate that. Why did I feel that? Why did I react like that? I know I used to be in love with him, but I barely even like him as a human now, much less as a potential mate. But physically I'm still drawn in by him, his scent still makes my heart race, his voice still gives me shivers, his eyes still make me weak. Why? I'm so mad and disgusted with myself, not to mention I'm kind of freaked out that he touched me that way because caressing someone's hair is not something that happens in a casual, friendly hug. I feel guilty for liking it when I have a boyfriend. I feel guilty for, deep down, a tiny part of me still craving that touch again, just wanting him close to me, despite how I feel about him.
I want someone to push me over the line. I want someone to bring to to the point of no return. I walk around, do my job and smile at everyone but deep down, my blood boils and a sleeping dragon lies in wait to be awoken. I dont want to but DEEEP down I want to. to just let go and mercilessly beat someone's ass. let go of all this pent up rage and agression and fuck some bloke up who pushed me to the edge. I barely got to let go with my GF who thought it was a good idea to keep testing me despite my warnings. we had a big fight and she was getting aggressive with me. I told her "you get one free hit." and boy she used it. Weak. Pathetic. I take shits that hurt worse. after that I told her "you wont get another chance to hit me again." she tried. and I put her on her ass. I didnt hit her back, I try not to lay hands against females. but I didnt let her hit me again. and FUCK it felt so good to unwind a bit. dare I say it was borderline orgasmic? she kept trying to hit me and I kept putting her down and restraining her. But i felt it. deep inside. that urge to fight back. to lay into her face. to take in the sight of blood dripping from her mangled face, i was teetering on the cliffside. granted she started the entire argument and when I restrained her from punching me, she threatened to call the cops on ME. but I digress.
My greatest regret is repeating my mistakes for second time and only realizing the second time. My regret is that I adopted a cat without thinking and followed my impulse instead. My mom never wanted another cat especially a black cat. My cat almost killed the new cat. Now I have to drag my boyfriend into this and her mom whether they can keep the cat or not. It's irresponsible of me I know. And it's all my fault. I'm mad becauae I keep making mistakes. And now I'm waiting until morning until I can tirn the cat back to the shelter. She's a nice cat but i can't keep her.
my gf keeps saying she might be pregnant even thou we've only ever done it over our clothes :) (dry humping) her period is a week late :)))))
I call alot of people my "bestfriends" but truth is I've never had that close, intimate, soul connection with anyone before. Never knew what it felt like to be 100% comfortable with anyone, never had that kind of relationship with anyone where we could hit eachother up at 3 in the morning because we felt like shit that day , now that i think about it i never had anyone (minus one person) check on me or just want to catch up ever since graduation.
Sorry, but I need to let my anger out for just a second....I hate the ok boomer joke. I'm not a boomer, I'm only 19, the fuck!? Why does every SJW wh*te boy (sorry for being racist) I meet thinks I'm a wh*te middle aged man!? Seriously, what's up with these retarded ass generation jokes!? I'm soo done with this world! And Jacob, the only Jacob I know, wherever your ass is at...FUCK YOU!! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A HORSE'S DICK YOU HORNY-ASS TROLL OF A TEENAGER!!!
last week I had a furry sex party. to identify if it's a Male or female is the flap location in front Male in the back female. there was many people that joined the party. it was amazing a complete mystery of who you had sex with or even their age. they can be as old as 30 an young as 15. the email expanded everything sent it to many people. there were 30 people who showed up. there was bunny's wolf's cats an other animals. as the Night went on people were starting to have sex everywhere. wasn't until morning people looked at a group text with everyone's character an age. there was many underaged girls an boys an only two people over 20. it was me an this lady she was 22 an I was 26. unfortunately I didn't have sex with her. the next morning I find out my little sister was involved a I had sex with her.
Im always having headaches and it dont feel good also im scared
I worked as a uber for a couple months and it got me incredibly upset to the point i had to quit, a lot of passengers where nice, i never liked to talk too much etc i just do what i have to, and what upset is when customers treated me badly, they act like they are superior to you, and say demeaning things, if i'm being honest if was only middle class white girls that acted like this, it was very disturbing for me and gave me a lot of sadness, despite doing my best you still had to deal with narcissistic , entitled and egocentric people who don't seem to even have the concept of being considerate. mostly it just made me sad about society and life, that certain people go around being basically human garbage and having no consequences, all the while pretending to be a oppressed class or something. it was just very frustrating, but also made me learn a lot about people, i wouldn't have known how toxic and disgusting most girls are.
I find it concerning that no one realizes that Wakanda is a fictional version of what Hitler was trying to achieve for Germany, a ethno centric military socialist state. i find that people are really stupid for not understanding these types of things, or they are purposefuly malicious and playing dumb.