theres this girl that i used to like when we were like 14 and stuff and recently she seeked me out and talked to me, but now im not attracted to her anymore, she got ugly feminist hair now and also got overweight and looks unhealthy, but im also very lonely because of 2020 stuff, i was generally dismissive of her while trying not to be rude, we still on good terms i think, i am writing this because im starving for affection, would it be weird to hangout with her just to get hugs and to have her pat my hair and hold me and things like that????? if i kinda do those things to her but don't kiss or fuck she would think im crazy , or think im mocking her, or worse think im rejecting her which im kinda am technically i guess????? i dont know if i should but i wanted to experience some affection again. a hug from a girl, a kiss on the forehead t----t
I'm still battling with my hurt and anger over dealing with those bitchass crackers, yesterday. If I gotta confess my frustration everyday, those punk motherfuckers won't win. I just wanna gather my boys, and head down there and ride on those punk motherfuckers. Those cowards would then start crying about how they are "good people". GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! Keep that same energy when I see you and ride on yo bitchass. You punk bitch. Fuck you.
Rose is dating her coach who started hitting on her when she was 13 and he was 30... she's still with him to this day engaged.. when i think about it i want to kill myself. if she ever marries and has kids i think i'll do it
I hate that those crackers occupy so much of my headspace. Fuck those bitchass motherfickers. But, at the same time, it's scary because I am in their part of town. From here on out, Ima start mocking crackers, since they wanna mock me for no legitimate reason, just the color of my skin.
Today i did my first muay thai practice in like a year, with other ppl that is, i had been training alone at home. i expected to do much better than i did, i sucked really bad, looked silly, didnt dodge as many punches as i thought i could at all and we werent even punching fast. my friends said wow ur good, but im not, i should be much better than this, i got very sad, and then afterwards i was walking home and looking at my ig and i saw Rose was online, i wanted to write her about it but i thought it would be tactless, so i just told her that shes my hero and that shes the best, and she hearted my reply immediately, they i said ''omg hi'' and she saw it but didnt reply or heart it.. then i just said have a good night Rose, and she didnt see that one. i hate this feeling that i dont matter and not care for, i wish she cared for me, i wish she was my friend, i wish she thought well of me and wasnt annoyed like she probably is. so this is what actual despair feels like, i just wish it would stop, i just wish i could fast forward to 10 years when Rose is my friend and we hangout and i tell her about my life and listen to her and she thinks well of me
lately i have been feeling more and more depressed and feeling despair, i think it's the Rose thing, i just feel worthless because shes not my friend or cares about me. it's so stupid i know, she can't even know about me, but i just feel uncared for and unimportant, she replied to me once and i think she was like open to be my friend and talk to me, but i must not have said the right things, and she never replied again, and i just feel sad thinking she doesn't know me or care about me and that she isn't my friend and that she doesnt think well of me or anything like that. everyday i feel suicidal really badly, i just want this to stop, i just wish she acknowledged me, and talked to me, and knew my name, i wish i didn't feel so inferior to her, i wish i hadn't wasted my youth and had done all the things she did so today i could be a dignified cool awesome person like her, but im not, im almost her age and have nothing to show for it, while she's 28 and already owns the universe, im 25 and a bum, i have nothing, im so distant from her and i want to cry everyday all the time
I need therapy so bad but I am also scared to do things on my own. Its to the point that I think if i had to start fully living dependently, I will would fail miserably and probably be homeless.
love when friends will keep up a conversation and ghost when I ask to hang out,, just tell me no instead of ignoring me
never-trained's shouldn't criticize fighters abilities or techniques. its the cringiest thing ever. shut your never-trained ass up you pretentious clown
I love my sister Vanessa Adeoye but she can be a condescending bitch sometimes