Intrusive thoughts haven't bothered me for a couple weeks... until today. My brother is sleeping over at my place and I'm getting incestuous images in my mind. I'm worried that I'll say or DO something weird to him in my sleep even though that's probably unlikely.
Everything dies. Plants, animals and even our sun will burn itself out in due time. But our fear is still there. And the pain we feel when we expirence loss. Life is about living in the now. Love yourself and your family. Its hard when you feel everythings aginst you but you just have to make do off it.
This lady that sits near me at work was irritating me last night. She got a customer who's Asian and kept interrupting her. When she got off the call she kept bitching about "the oriental woman" she couldn't understand. It annoys me when customers bitch about another agent who had an accent. But it straight pisses me off when it's a coworker saying that about a customer. I get if you're having a bad day or you're just a bitch in general, but don't be racist. If I get a customer I can't understand, I blame it on the phone not coming in clearly when I ask them to repeat something. And if a customer really pissed me off I try to wait until I'm in my car on break to let it out. Or just angrily scribble on a notepad. I didn't say anything to that lady because I didn't want to start anything and I didn't know if it was bad enough to take it to a coach. I just hope she gets moved away from me soon or gets fired. She was also talking to a new person about why this job sucks so maybe she'll quit.
I'm a guy and I think about buying a dildo with a dick shape to give a blowjob. I loathe sucking a real dick though.
God I hate reCAPTCHAs! How am I supposed to see shit from those tiny-ass images! The listening option used to be okay, but nowadays it doesn't work for me for some reason. Fuck Google.
I have some stretch marks and i think they're ugly as SHIT. I wish i could just take a knife and cut them out.
Muslims are a disease to the earth. They don't get along with anyone. Not Europeans, not Chinese, not Americans. Everywhere there is Islam there is violence and sexism and pedophilia. They're disgusting.
I hate the days when I have low appetite. I'm hungry but everything tastes gross except cucumbers.
My grandmother passed away a couple years ago. A few months ago, some of my dad's siblings took her ashes to Florida, where her husband has been buried for 17 years. They just dumped her ashes on top of his grave "so they could finally be together". And I'm pissed. They didn't ask if any of us wanted to keep some of her ashes- I would have liked to. But the thing I'm most upset about is that, since they illegally left human remains on the ground, there's no way to get a gravestone. So now my grandmother is completely gone, without a trace. There is no marker for her presence, no sign of her life for future generations to see. I am so sad and angry that they did that to her. She was always camera shy, so we don't have many photos of her; now it's like they've all but erased her from existence. I wish I could tell them how upset I am.
I have 80+ notes on my phone so I know things I like to look up or things I want for my birthday or Christmas things to pack to a friends house what to watch on YouTube etc it makes me anxious and I start obsessing if I don’t write notes down it’s like when I write stuff down it takes away my anxiety But I’m not sure why I don’t understand I mean like why is that comforting is it because I have control or what I don’t understand it just gives me a breath of fresh air when i write it down knowing I can’t forget it now and I don’t have to obsess with thinking about what I was trying to remember