So I knew this girl from school who was clearly into me. She's like an 11/10 but something is screwy with her personality so I didn't make a move. We went to a bar with some mutual friends where I had scored some backstage passes to meet a semi-famous rock band. While we were there she was flirting with drunk dudes and actually making out and making eye contact with me as she does it. So afterwards she tries to hit on me. Like she's doing her level best to make a case for a relationship. Tells me she was trying to make me jealous. I of course turned her away. Dodged that bullet. Lifehacker for anyone who hasn't figured this out. Men don't work too well with jealousy. You aren't a purse where high demand and other people having what they want makes you more desirable. I'm not gonna stick with a girl where I have the image of her getting her tits groped by other men in front of me and my friends in my head. That's not gonna make a man feel good. Isn't that kinda obvious?

Every time I see him, I just feel so damn happy. He makes my heart feel like it's glowing. I get this dumbass smile and my face and I forget how to talk. I love him so much. I thought I had finally gotten over him, but my heart still aches for his love...

sex with me never will be enough im always gonna be competing. i rarely can satisfy him no matter what ive tried but things/people outside of our relationship never seem to fail at getting him off. never will it be just him and me.

The only place I can safely masturbate without anyone knowing what I'm doing is my room. But my room is the only place my cat can be in, so I'd have to do it in front of him... and I just can't make myself do it. It feels wrong. I know I'm not getting off thinking about my cat, but idk, I just feel gross doing it in front of him... Am I the only one with this problem?

I want to take a gutting knife and start at the bottom of my stomach and drag it up as far as I can go 🙂

For everyone with depression... please keep fighting it. You can achieve happiness, and it will be worth it even if it takes a long time. And if you feel tired, it's okay to slow down. It's okay to take a long time to get better - I did, too, with seven years. It's like they say - crawl if you're too weak to walk, but don't stop. As long as you don't give up, you can get better. I hope this is not too terribly cliche, but it's kind of what I wanted to hear last year.

it's hard loving someone who doesn't even exist anymore

EXPLICIT I want Franziska von Karma to sit on my face and tell me how gross I am

I crave affection. I couldn't care less about sex, but I so badly need someone to lay next to, someone to hold, someone to kiss and touch. Someone to hold hands with. Someone to smile about. Someone to love.

Okay. AGAI1N. That feeling i thought had faded or maybe buried at least. But whenever i see him getting cosy with other girls or i dont know that feeling comes alive again. Leo i dont wanna love you. No not at all. But i cant help my feeling. Why. why am i hurt by your little things, little actions. AGAIN. Just like the past. I was soo happy i thought i kind of "moved on". I dont wanna betray Jeremy cos he loves me sooooo much. And someone who gives away that much love doesnt deserve betrayal. But I cant help it when i see u. And u ignoring me is fucking worst. I tried to hate u. Made fun of u to convince myself and it kind of works too but later something again brings back the affection. I dont wanna go mad. I cant bear ur ignorance. I just wish u would talk to me in a good way. Dont bring those sex and lust things up. U might take it as ajoke but i get hurt i dont know i think u just take me like one of those girls.... like whos into sex.... just becos of those things i am wherei am today. In despair. And i hate to be here. I really dont know u. How u are. and i regret showing u what i really am me. Trusting u. Getting naked. Whole Body and soul. So i will never let myself show up as weak in front of u because i just think u would FEEL like winning. U successfully made a girl madly in love but no u arent gonna love back cos u have sooo much of pride. I cant be vulnerable and weak in front of u now becos u would take pity on me but do nothing else. Poor girl. Right. I dont know i have prayed thousands times to make me out of love from u but No. God had never fucking listened to any of my prayers and will never too. I am so hurt. So broke. I cant sort out my life. I hate u but i love u too. My mind just revolves round ur name. The day when u guys went to Lake Hills Valley it's okay u didnt call me maybe there was not much room in the car or if thats not the case i would find another reason to convince myself. That day i asked u to get my charger from my workplace. Maybe thats a bit much to ask for but i was soo seriously sick that i thought icould die any moment. And my phone was on deadpoint. I thought u have got a car maybe u could drive to maccas and get my charger and eat something for urself. Its barely 15 min drive.from city. and u live close to me so i had asked u. I know its too much but i dont know why i trusted u would bring it and even though u couldn't hand me my phone being dead u might have taken it with u. But No. I was sooo eager to see ur reply but my phone was switched off. Then Jeremy brought me charger the next day... he cares for me a lot. I hate to see that. I wish that had been u. Then switched on my phone just to see ur clearly uninterested message" we didnt came that way". Okay... okay.. so hurting. Nothing else..not how are u. Nothing. Leo i think these feelings for u that i had tried so hard to bury for the past months resurfaced becos of me being siick. I wasss sooo siick oh my god. I needed LOVE. I needed care. I needed someones hand on me head. Ur hand. I needed u. I have missed u sooo much and still am. That your Lake Hills trip night i had just assumed or wished u would get my charger and txt me u r outside my house. U would be alone in the car and u would see me how how bloody damn weak and vulnerable and needy i was and u know.thers no one here to care me.then i just let my imagination go on. I wished u would see me in that state and not feel pity but love the friend kind of love and u would invite me to ur house i would deny it u would insist and then again i would deny it wishing u to insist again so that i could agree this time and indeed u would insist again and i would agree. I would put a calm face but my heart would be exploding and beating like something disaster something electric has flown through me. I would be happy. Then u would take me to ur home and take care of me so damn good and love me and not fuck me please. I know right such a perfect imagination. Too good to be true for me. I wish u would fall in love with me. I wish u would see the good side of me. Not a day goes by when my brain doesnt say your name once. I suppose there is no u and me. No us right in this world. But see how good it sounds. I just think our name sounds almostsame we both have like ish sound in our initials hhaha. Okay enough. reminiscing how u were with me months ago just makes me fall for u deeper today so i dont wanna remember cos im trying to distant myself from u. But whenever i see u even when we are not in good terms for a split.moment what i imagine i wish i could jump and hug you then u would catch me and kiss me. Then snap! back to reality. U just standing infront of me i probably be looking like a fool.. i love when u smile becos of me.. that smile Do u remember i ask to.change your lockscreen / wallpaper i forgot and u had changed it. I wish its still the same. Even though im not the reason for u letting it stay the same but it would make.me happy that you still have that same wallpaper/lockscreen. My heart whispers everytime please love me but i drown that voice myself with my loud No. I love when you put your arms around my neck. U had done it couple of times. in the past of course. But now im not gonna be weak infront of u. I will fight u Leo. I will keep u away from my heart from my mind. When i close my eyes i remember u kissing my cheeks, my lips, and huggging me tight on our naked body. Tight soo tight. Such a "too perfect" moments. I still wish but NO I DONT WISH. Leo. I remember every thing that u have done for me. In the past.... u have taken care of me so well. But why did we part. How. U just pushed me away. I have missed u ever since then. Every single day. I have still lot on my mind. But i dont wanna let it out. It just makes more hard for me to get away from u.