Back in high school I was a complete delinquent. I always get in trouble. I'm always known for vandalizing walls with my murals. And not to brag they were some great murals just controversial. I was also into computers and always hacks the school website most of the time. On my early high school, I also got in to a bad group of people, with my interest in cooking, I also got a fond of cooking drugs like cocaine and meth. I knew how to make powedered LSA too (not LSD) and some MMDA. I'm also a big fond of growing weed. I sell pretty much but never took them except the weed and Molly. But I always see my friends high and five killed themselves with overdose. Somehow at 15 I kinda just changed. I just runaway from my abusive foster family and searched for my biological mother. Well ill keep it to myself on how I found her. But she's actually a scientist, she's married, never divorced and has three kids all younger than me. I just sat in front of the house, I never introduced myself cuz I mean who would want a girl with side shaved head and lip piercings. Plus she gave me away... I just went back to my school, ignored my bad friends and actually passed by a swim coach, shes strict but she's actually one of my inspirations to change. Well oddly I still do the things I do back in high school. Except in hs I gradutaed with an average goa but in college I was a magna cum laude majoring in bioengineering. Right now I work in a lab doing chemistry. I garden as hobby and mostly were eggplants, basil, carrots and celery. I still paint but legally. I also volunteer in helping delinquent teens. But one thing I never did yet was to actually introduce myself to my biological mother. I kinda wonder what's she's like now and what she'll say when she sees me. Out of all changes I made this one is the hardest!
My girlfriend said from the beginning that she wants an open relationship. At the time, I was all for trying, but it's been a year and a half, and only now is she bringing it up again. We werr content with just each other, but I guess the honeymoon phase is over... I wish I could give this to her, but just the mental image of another man pleasuring her is heartbreaking to me. I can't be happy in our relationship if she's sleeping with other men, and frankly, I'm unhappy that she wants to so bad.
Everyone thinks I'm happy, they look at me and my girlfriend and say what a beautiful, happy couple we are. But I'm not happy, I look at photos of us together, smiling and I know deep down it's a lie. I feel like I'm trying so hard to be happy, but I know I'm not. I know there's something missing in our relationship. I love her, but I'm not in love with her. She deserves more and maybe I do too, but I can't leave.
It's 5:30 in the morning, and I'm desperately lonely. I have no one to talk to right now. I've been sick for a week now so I feel like trash, and I thought I was getting better, but realized today I've been running a fever for a few days and just didn't know because I was taking so much medicine to relieve the pain. My boyfriend is sick too, and he's going through a mild depression right now, so I accidentally upset him earlier and I feel terrible about it. He apologized for taking it out on me, but then said he should be taking it out on himself... he shouldn't be taking anything out on himself, he doesn't deserve that. I feel like I'm falling short as his companion because I don't know what to say or do to help him through this. I know I can't fix him, but surely I could be doing something to make it easier on him... He's so wonderful and I love him so much but sometimes I wonder if his self hatred and difficulty trusting others combined with my apparent inability to deal with that will be the demise of our relationship. I want to make it work, and I don't want to leave him because he has issues; I have issues of my own, but the difference there is he seems to know how to help me with mine... I guess I'm just rambling at this point. idk I just needed to get it all off my chest and feel like someone is listening to me, even if no one ever reads this. Just writing it out is kinda therapeutic...
so I work at a airport an there are so many places to fuck at work. I've gotten head so far but I really want to fuck at work one day. I'm so glad most of the workers there are female. some are straight from high school.
I'm really into femdom and i have stopped dating cuz i only wanna do kinky shit, not normal sex, and i get anxious of having to reveal that to girls i'm dating, and probably having them dislike it
Every time I see you I'm reminded of my failure with you, how I've stopped talking to you for no reason except my inability of having in my life as a friend. You're the most beautiful woman I ever met and I couldn't help myself to blew it.
I still miss him, care and love him and although it hurts knowing I wasn't ever good enough I'm trying my best to be happy, better and successful. maybe then I'll be good enough.
I love white people they are so nice
I knew someone years ago (6 years now).. since the first time i saw him i knew he was special.. i remember eveyday the day i saw him for the first time.. we were ao young.. god, i dont even know how to describe it.. because “love” is not enought.. he is the love of my life.. i can imagine my life without him anymore.. i breaks my heart everytime i think about my mother.. my dad died some years ago.. and i can imagine the pain that my mother carries on her heart.. because i know how much she loved my dad.. i would never be able to be happy again if i loose my men.. it just breaks my heart... my mom loved and still love my dad a lot!