TL;DR: how do I know if I'm asexual or really terrified of intimacy, or both? So I know this might be a weird question, and because of this I'm posting it on here lol. I'm a 21 year old girl, and I have never been attracted to anyone. Other than having a crush in third grade, I do remember having feelings for a high school teacher once, but it was very confusing because I kinda wanted him more as a father figure (daddy issues), so I don't know if that was an actual crush... But other than that, I have never thought of someone in a romantic way or was interested in dating. I feel weird about never having been attracted to anyone, and every time it gets brought up, people tell me it's basically not possible that I have never been in love, or don't have an image in my mind as to what my potential partner should be like. Now, if this was the only side to the story, it would be easy to say that it has to do with sexual orientation, but thing is, I'm terrible with interpersonal relationships in general. I only have two friends, and even these friendships are hard for me to keep, not because of lack of desire but rather because of my avoidant personality disorder. But anyways, I don't feel like I'm in need of love. It's just that not having been in love makes me feel like a weirdo. On a bad day, I might wish for a relationship thinking that being comforted, supported and cared for by someone would make things better, but that's pretty much it. So if anyone has similar experiences, I would love to feel less alone. Also I would appreciate some thoughts and advice from you guys. And sorry if my thoughts are all over the place. I've been trying to write this confession for half an hour, and this is the best I can do. Sorry if it's terrible, but I hope it at least makes some sense.
I need help on what to do for a persuasive speech for class. Any suggestions? No topic is off limits. What would you find interesting?
I have big daddy issues and I want to sleep with older guys. ugh why am I like this
China should be held accountable for the virus they created, accidently or not. And just now I saw in the news that the wild animals markets have just opened up again.
my government is causing serious economic issues that we'll be trying to pay the next 100+ years. EI would have been sufficient during this pandemic. there was no reason to inflate the shit out of our money so that he can start handing it out like candy. and people are too blinded by the "free money" to realise nothing is ever free. this will cost us for generations.
Please don't joke about social distancing when your wife had a hacking cough twice while in my line at the store. Y'all should be staying the frick home! Or at least get your wife to stay in the car. She might not have COVID19, it might've been allergies or a regular cold. But I don't know that! Stay home if at all possible. If it was up to me, I'd be at home right now, but I can't get paid leave unless I have a confirmed case or the government forces us to close. Stay the hell home. It's not that hard.
Random thing to confess I guess, but I kinda just want to tell somebody: I have the sudden urge to go buy some white Vans and customize them with paint and Sharpies. I've been wanting custom art shoes for YEARS and now that I have money to get supplies, I see no reason not to. Except... people might see my shoes as childish or immature if I draw all over them. And part of me doesn't care, but a big part of me honestly does care. Should I even bother to make these shoes, or am I gonna get so much negative feedback on them that I won't want to wear them and I'll have wasted all that money?
I can't fucking STAND this day and age of umpteen thousand genders. it pisses me off beyond reproach. I go in for a background check for a new job, test screen says "list ethnicity: Black, White, mixed." then it says "list gender: Male, female, male transitioning, female transitioning, undisclosed, male preferred, female preferred ect ect" and I'm like WHAT THE FLYING HOLY FUCK IS THIS DONKEY SHIT?!?! PENIS=MALE. VAGINA=FEMALE! you want to cross dress, FINE! RuPaul is an icon. Wanna be gay/ lesb, HAVE AT IT! what bothers me MOST of all, is if a guy is attracted guys, that's gay. but if that gay guy is transitioning to female, wouldn't his partner just be straight with extra steps??? it makes me violently ill. I just want to scream at the nearest male transitioning to female "YOU. ARE. A BOY!!!!!!" YOU CANT REWRITE SOUND SCIENCE WITH YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL INSECURITIES!!! (end rant. lynch me if you want)
so there's this one friend who likes me and has confessed to me, and one night i was really drunk and didn't remember what was happened that night, and i remember that i called him but forgot what was i saying and when i woke up the next day i checked my phone and found that we were argued over something both on the phone and chat and i don't remember it till now, and now he's kinda pulling himself away from me even though i've explained that i was drunk and it was an accident and i said sorry multiple times, what should i do now, he's my best friend :((
I'm becoming very unfocused.I need to pass all my classes to graduate but I just can focus, when I try to do my homework I space out and get distracted by the smallest thing.the same thing happens when I'm doing anything else liketalking,eating,reading even if I'm just walking I get distracted by anything