idkw I really love this state. I'm not sparkling when we talk. I slowly want to know more about you, your history, your preferences, your thoughts, your suffers, and your dreams. I'm not wondering what ur thinking about me or what are we right now. I just feel really comfortable talking with you, everyday. I don't care where this will go. Until I know you have a gurl......
It was fall when you and I meet in college. I was a driven and focused engineering student, you had no idea what you wanted to do. we were friends and it's true, I thought you were cute. ginger girls are a weak point of mine. but you were clearly were not interested. but that didn't stop you from clinging to me after classes when you had nothing better to do. you found a guy you wanted and thought I needed to be distracted. you saw the "fat" weeb in one of or classes and tried to introduce us. you tried to distract me with someone who had similar interests. she only looked fat because of how she dressed. honestly it was nice being able to talk with someone that spoke my language. did you notice how she and I sat across from each other in and out of class? how her tops took on a more revealing cut to show me her cleavage? you friendzoned me and were upset that I was leaving you so I could hangout with her. alone. you were jealous. but that was your problem. remember rachel, how you tried to take me back from her? trying to flirt with me saying that if I had a car we could hang out together? I told her, and we both saw right through you. do you remember how she took me out on dates after that? I won't say that when we weren't in class we were in my apartment. but when spring came I was in love with her. you went off into some internship across the country the following fall. you cheated on the guy you settled for. we laughed about that too. six years later you emailed me asking if I remembered you. I told you she and I were together in my reply. I told you that she and I stated dating after college. I thanked you for introducing me to the love of my life. I even said that I would have been miserable if I hadn't met her. I asked how you were doing but you never replied. I didn't hear from you after that. I looked you up, you got fat and engaged. you were remembering the one you let loose. that was why you emailed me. you wanted to upgrade from the guy you were with or try to make me jealous. wasn't going to happen. it's been years side that email and I don't regret shutting you down. did it hurt getting friendzoned more than once? I'm not sorry.
I have a crush on someone despite being in a relationship. I truly love my boyfriend, and I know that the feelings I have towards my crush aren't "real". It's more like a celebrity crush - I think he's extremely attractive and I am also extremely attracted to his character, but I know that I could never be with him or truly love him and that my attraction to him is basically only of a sexual nature. I am not afraid I'll cheat, but it still kills me. It's so stressful to long after something that you can't have, to have feelings you shouldn't have, and to have to hide it. I feel like a smoker who's in the process of quitting and constantly sees people smoke cigarettes.
I've been living at my mate's parents house for the past 18 months. so for the past two weeks he's sister and me have been sleeping in the same bed together
I am single for a reason.
I need a break from work and long communication with people for 6 months to a year. I feel like I am starting to dislike people. I want the need to love and be around people again. I feel that if I am away for a while, my desire to be around others will come back.
how can someone claim to be completely in love with someone, but cause nothing but heartache? I can't go through this yet again...
today It's my mom's birthday and I have to call her to wish her happy birthday. she is a very neurotic person and every time I talk to her I feel that energy passing on to me and it's very painful. I don't want to call her to wish her happy birthday, but I have to.
why do full grown men act like teenagers. they still swear you're their heart, only to find 2 other women in the background. no doubt being told the same thing.
My heart breaks as the days go by... Because I know that even if I do leave her, nothing will change for her, and she really won't care...