(Really explicit) I knew I hadn't really lived before when I held her on a leash, writhing naked in my bed, calling me master...
I want to be able to treat this girl I'm talking to girl right but I'm dumb and still in love with my son's mom.
Why does everyone think that if you care for someone, you HAVE to be dating? Does nobody know what platonic care is anymore? This is why I can't care about others because people attempt to shove me into a relationship when they sense even the slightest ounce of remote appreciation for someone from me.
Being a hopeless romantic longing for a relationship vs. knowing I'm not ready for one is really kind of annoying. I wish I would stop craving romance so much.
For the longest time, we flirted back and forth, and it really seemed like he was interested in me. Then I heard he started dating someone else. He stopped flirting. Recently (a few months later) it feels like he's flirting with me a bit again. He's not at all the kind of person to cheat, so I can't help but wonder if maybe they broke up and he's interested again. But I can't ask him. I don't necessarily hope they broke up, because I know his girlfriend and they make a good couple. But part of me hopes I have a chance with him. I've loved him for so long, patiently waiting for him to make a move because I didn't want to push him. And that's what I'll keep doing until I'm sure.
I decided to finally see a therapist, it's definitely going to break the bank. But I feel lonely and anxious and I have no friends or family I can trust with my problems. And my only friend is my husband, and he can't understand what I'm feeling no matter how much I tried. I'm not going to tell him I'm going to see a therapist though.
10 years ago I met my wife after internet dating for a while. I was head over heels for her and took the chance. She was willing to go all the way the first time we met, but we didn't. We were both virgins at the time. I asked her why she was willing. I was expecting some explanat about the depth of our love. She said I have good genes because I have a high GPA and look like a model. Besides if I leave, no one will ever know because I don't know any of her friends. Is this a common line of thought for women? I recall the song "Name" by Goo Goo Dolls or the line in that Lorde song about those who "Don't dance and tell." Wildest dreams by Taylor Swift. Is this kind of fling a common fantasy for women?
I think I'm into some sort of love-hate feeling. I mean, I hate him that everything he did is wrong in my eyesq, but I love him so much I still put him in my priority. Honestly, I don't know.
I feel so bad talking about my boyfriend like this and asking for help, but if I'm hurting and feeling ignored then it should matter. My patience is running low, I card so much and love him but honestly as an adult he shouldnt have me telling him to do basic things like cleaning up or suggesting when he should shower. His father also encourages an immature, drink and maybe try some drugs type of lifestyle for "experience " as if it's going to help him achieve anything. I'm sure one day he will get around, Ive pampered him and maybe some of the things I said to him got to his head and it just feels so one-sided. even some of the things he says to me makes me feel bad... like he only did XYZ for me to "get out the friendzone", honestly I feel like a long term rebound.
I loved my boyfriend, earlier in out relation even though I was trying to overcome a lot of crap he was there and he was a lot better then, around the end of the year he was laid off and I thought maybe he would be interested in seeing me more like we talked about but I guess not, around Thanksgiving he was changing slowly and lately I feel a lack of passion from him and I feel like im losing it for him... he wants to have sex but I'm not inclined, we only started having sex recently because I was inexperienced but honestly I'm getting faint to no pleasure from him, I've told him let's try this or that and even asked what he likes, hes so prude and doesnt care to try the things I suggest and its not like I'm suggesting anything incredibly kinky either, hes quite vanilla, honestly he is starting to strike me has someone who considers himself a freak but he doesnt even last long in bed... he has such selfish tendencies and I've brought it up to him but he doesnt care, hes not even making effort to try and turn me on and if he does he just gets frustrated after about a minute or 2 and walks away :( I also feel like he doesnt see me the way I see, or maybe I should say once saw him. and yes I've tried to talk to him but if i do, he gets upset and goes silent to only fuck off somewhere instead of talking things out with me. this same general behavior occurs outside of sex as well. I just feel a bit conflicted now with our relationship and I got suggestions to talk to him and depending on how he reacts again, it shows where our relationship stands. someone even suggested I just break up with him because maybe we are just incompatible. I also dont like that I have to clean up after him like a child, telling him he needs to buy a vacuum, mop the floor, wipe down surfaces and he even sometimes "forgets" to brush his teeth. He lives with his father and I think his father is an influence to this behavior. my boyfriend also lacks priority, it's not like he doesnt have money, because he does but he would rather sit and watch it in the bank then spend it on a driver's license, car, braces, he barely ever has food in the house and lives right across from WALMART. its ridiculous and honestly I've just been thinking that since he doesnt want to listen to my suggestions on his habits I might just decide to meet someone who is overall better. and yes I've tried to talk to him about how he feels to see if hes depressed but he claims hes fine and continues to be vague and not tell me anything.