It's 6:08 am. I'm making coffee. I'm sitting in a half dark living room apartment, waiting for my coffee to finish brewing. I keep thinking if I'll ever be good enough for anyone, and when I will get to, really, rest.
Sometimes I miss my ex. We didn't break up because the love died, we just broke up because we had different plans for the future. He's not perfect, but I loved him. I'm not in love with him anymore, but I do still care about him. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little bit attracted to him still. I just wish things were different. Or I at least wish I could get a new boyfriend so I could stop thinking about my ex every time I get lonely.
I'm so fucking gay and I want a girlfriend SO BAD but at the same time I have a crush on a guy lmao. Honestly if I had the choice, I'd rather have a girlfriend right now, but I'd be so happy if my crush asked me out. I just want someone to give my love to.
I've seen a lot of guys make fun of girls who immediately say "I have a boyfriend" when they just try to ask her something or to just be nice. But I've also seen a lot of men complain about girls who "flirt" with them and then tell them that they have a boyfriend last second. When a guy talks to me and I can't clearly make out his intentions, I'm always severely torn between which kind of bitch I want to be...
Was out walking with my bf today when I passed some other woman from a language class I rarely go to. I noticed her after she'd already seen me. She was looking at me like she was really surprised/ kinda freaked out to see me and I don't know why. I've only met her once in my little language meet up like nearly 2 months ago, she was in my small novice group and I don't remember anything that strange happening. Heck I don't even remember her name and I've only been to this language meet up twice in about a year so I'm confused. Truth be told I'm pretty shy and a little awkward so it's a big deal for me to go and try. This hurt my feelings and confused me.
My mom was raped at 13 and had me...didn't raise me...a family member did...but told lies of a different sort even about who conceived me...as cover-up. Her hate fueled more and those around her and permeated my life with destruction....so much horror she inflicted.
I need advice from any of the lesbian or bi people on here... How does one get in contact with other lesbian or bi people, I really just need someone to talk to or confide in, someone to give me advice.
I was worried she would grow feelings that would complicate out friendship if we had sex... Now here I am feeling jealous and sad knowing she's hanging out with another dude right now. What the hell, brain?
between having a boyfriend or girlfriend, I'm more interested in making friends. Because I feel so damn alone. My therapist asked who I can talk about my problems. I said nobody... Like in my opinion, I never wanna make friends just because they're my emotional garbage can. I wanna be friends with them so that I can have someone to call family and go places with. i'm so tired of going out alone.
There's this person I really like. Problem is she's my TA.. I'm not really into dating people who has an authority of me. But estimating her age, she's just a little bit older than me also in her 20's and so do I. But I need the class so I can graduate already and her time is the only time of class available for me to have so I have no choice. I just set aside the emotions but it's weird that I get quite the attraction like that for the first time. I never had an attraction to anyone before or has never been in a relationship for 5 years so it's a weird feelings. Plus I think she's straight... I mean she's a christian and no doubt she's straight. (Not that I'm generalizing cuz I'm a christian and not straight)... Plus her attitude kinda implies the same attraction towards me so.... But it kinda changed when I started annoying her a bit. She kinda started having a bit of a cold shoulder towards me and I think it's totally fine for me. She's still nice and I can see she treats everyone the same now including me. But now I can concentrate in the class and remain professional. Plus I need that class to develop my logic skills not my emotional development haha.