So it turns out that I might be bipolar. if I am, I've gone as many as 25 years undiagnosed. I've been able to better control my depression since I figured it out (I have no idea how I or anyone else ever figured it out before). the only thing i can't control is that I break down uncontrollably when I think about a support group. it terrified me to be exposed like that; my soul laid bare to that many strangers. I don't know how to gather the strength for when the time comes.
when my mental health goes down, i self isolate. i recently moved into an environment that makes that less possible, and today it got so bad that i lost the ability to speak for a good while
I feel really bad. It's like I have no heat anymore. I don't know how to get out of this swamp
somethimes I feel like a mistake and I just wanna feel like I belong
I heard my mom and dad doing the deed and I don't wanna sy anything but it's nasty and disgusting I'm scared for LIFE 😓🤮
Why do I feel like I need permission to do anything? like go take a shower or go hang out with friends.
I just want to run away.
it's getting harder to suppress my submissive needs. I try and try but my husband just cant seem to grasp the whole dynamic. and its killing me . it makes me hate being submissive.
I became celibate after my ex and I split. it's been ten years now and I've forgotten how to date again. I'm crying every time I think about a relationship because I don't feel like I have any value anymore. compound it with the fact that in the last two years I've literally lost everyone in my life. there isn't even anyone to claim my body if I died today. I try to be as normal as possible, bit nobody ever cares enough to have a genuine conversation. I think about suicide every day. and I've finally started becoming at peace with it.
Hopelessly in love with my husband who left 3 years ago. I don't care who he sleeps with, how he spends his time, or what choices he makes. I just love him unconditionally. I wish that it was enough to make him want me too.