I feel like Raj in the first seasons of BBT.
Been going to local cafe for 6 years 3-4 times a week. All white native british staff and never any problem, friendly, welcoming and trusting. They just employed a Polish woman and every time she sees me she makes me feel uncomfortable. Watching me closely whenever i walk in, even when im at the coffee machine she watches to see what button i press so i dont "claim" to have orderd a cheaper drink. Ive watched her with other white cusotmers and she defintly has a different attitude. Very few ethnic minorities where i live and even fewer visiting the cafe. its not like there a constant problem of theft by dark coloured people. I dont want to complain to the manager in case im seen making a fuss...I feel really anxious going there now, it makes me feel really sad. I dont want to have to carry a big thermos around all day and just be isolated.
I wish I was beautiful and not just "average".
I hate my body. I'm only 22 and I'm already having a saggy butt and cellulite all over my legs, my belly is disproportionately fat compared to my stick arms and small breasts, and I overall look more like a 40 year old mom than someone who's supposed to be in their best years. I always felt okay about my body (I mean, of course I thought I had flaws, but who doesn't), and I'm simply not used to feeling so badly about my appearance. I wish I could love myself, but that's hard when even your partner is starting to not want to see you in lingerie anymore.
I'm lonely, I don't want to bother anyone about it because we talked already but I hate being alone and not talking or texting somebody. I just really have to talk to somebody because when I'm not I start thinking of how useless and annoying I am to other people and start thinking that everyone hates me and I should just die. then, I start getting angry, sad and violent. I don't know how to deal with this anymore
My younger sister got stronger then me and i am affraid of her because she is always so hyperactive and punching everything she sees and I'm her favorite target.
2020 started off really shitty and i have a feeling it's only going to get worse
My period came three days early. I shouldn't be surprised since I've been so angry and sad and tired lately, and craving sweets. But I'm mad because my boyfriend's birthday is this weekend... and now I can't give him birthday sex. He won't be upset, he'll tell me it's okay and we can make up for it later. And he's right. But I'm spending the night with him the night before and I was so looking forward to waking him up with a blowjob and then giving him the ride of his life. This whole week has just fucking sucked, my period coming early is just the cherry on top of the shit sundae.
I realized that only my mom and dad really love me. Not friends, and not even siblings. In siblings' eyes, they do nothing wrong and they like it when they have power over me.
i can't even confess in this app thinking its gonna be exposed one day