I hate how my ex says I never loved her. How her rapist ex boyfriend said he did and he lied and nobody ever loved her since. Just because we broke up and I said I dont love you in a relationship way but I still have a place for you in my heart. I still love her. I will never stop loving her. Our relationship was toxic and a mess and I had to do what needed to be done for both our sakes and health. But never did I stop loving her to a degree. I would've given her the world and torn down the walls of china for her. I gave her everything I could. my love, my time, and she became my world. but she continues to say I never did. I devoted my being to her. fuck her is all I can say anymore.
I was triggered today. I binged and didn't care. I ate so much. I probably won't eat tomorrow. Tea and coffee probably.
magkaiba yung hindi moko nAiintindihan sa di moko iniintindi >>>>>
I wish I was happy without taking pills.
I live in the last affectionate family ever. The only one who shows affection is me and my siblings make fun of me for that,but i know it's important so i will just keep on hugging my mom every day, even tho she hugs me back just like once a year. Yes I'm crying 😢
Anxiety→Overthinking→ stress→anxiety→overthinking → stress. Repeat. It won't stop 😢😓😫
I'm a worthless lazy bum. My mother's companion is the same as me. Me, him and my mother live together. I'm 39, she's 60, he's 62. Me and him don't do house chores at all. We're both unemployed for a long time. We're rude to her and treat like a maid. All three of us had this fight yesterday because, you guessed it, me and him are lazy pricks. Now on to me: I have no motivation or strengths left to carry on. I barely have friends, never had a relationship, i'm too afraid (and lazy) to do anything that a responsible adult should be doing. What will be of me when my mother's not able to support me? I also have several health problems like diabetes, being overweight. I did chemotherapy 7 years ago and radiotherapy too. I was also abused by my uncle when I was little. He tricked me into masturbating him a few times. My father was murdered by this abusive uncle's father. They were drinking companions until the day my mother told my father she was raped by him. My father was no saint, he was a drunk that used to beat my mother.
Screw you for making me feel bad for trying to do nice things! Screw u for making me feel inferior. Screw you that even tho I know your suffering I still have to love you and help you because I do genuinely care even tho you knew I was in a toxic situation and have trauma about this stuff and all you did was add unknowing or not. Why don't people think through thoroughly before they do something. Don't you know everyone is suffering and has hurts and happiness you can help heal or make worse just by your actions?? Why couldn't you see I was hurting? Why didn't you notice. Why is your pain more important then mine? Screw u my pain matters I don't have to feel like scum because you did something stupid cuz you weren't honest or didn't think.
Why am I like this lmao
I deleted my Facebook, snapchat and this app called whisper. I just didn't see the point of them anymore. on Facebook I had only 3 friends, had an account since it existed. I only had snapchat for this one friend who im sure I have an obsession with not love... we no longer talk. finalize by her this time. I'm just tired. making friends is just pointless. everyone leaves and they have to. their lives have to progress. why can't I focus on progressing my own. why does having friends matter. why do I always miss them. I dont want to miss anyone anymore. why can't I focus on other things.... sighs