i found my first love (a puppy love) when I was 12 online. He lives in another country. It didn’t work out. I’m 18 now, had a few relationships before I didn’t love any of them as much as I loved my first love. I realized that I prefer foreign guys, I only think of my people as cousins. And I’m hoping to meet a good foreign guy one day, but this time not online. But in real life
The saddest thing i think is that painfully obvious transition from wildin it out at parties from laughing with friends at bars and dancing to loud wrenching music at clubs to coming back to an empty home the second after; coming home to reality. I mean, after laughter comes tears i guess
I feel like i'm surrounded by people 24/7 but i've never been more excluded, isolated and alone in my life. Is this what feels like growing up? lol i just turned 18 and legal 2 secs ago and everything has changed so much
No matter how much you said you'll keep in contact for you will ALWAYS fall out at the end. It's sad but I guess that's life, sooner or later they'll just become a pure bittersweet distant memory. That's the ugly side of post high school.
It's been a crazy few months and thing are changing so rapidly I can barely stop to breath. I'm excited, I'm scared and I don't know if I'll be okay. This might sound like an exaggeration but I really hope I stay alive by the end of the year.
God forgive me for saying this but I don't want to deal with my mum's bullshit anymore. I'm done. It's NOT a phase, I meant it when I said it. I mean I love her and all she's still my mum but she can be too much to bear sometimes, it makes it harder than it already is to love her. I actually wish it was only me that feels this way. The longer I stay with her the worse it gets. I don't even care if I come to regret this later on but it needs to be said; I. DON'T. CARE. WHAT. HAPPENS. TO. HER.
My boyfriend's bestfriend is gay. He did told me once he was chasing her before until she came out gay. His bestie have a gf, but tbh, I kinda get jealous sometimes on the way they talk. I mean they're even moving to another state and live together as roomates. And idk why I'm jealous when I shouldn't be. They know each other for so long, they had a bond and I can't make him talk to her less because it's so selfish of me to do that. I can't see him sad and eventually start to dislike me because I'm isolating him to his friends. I can't do that to him. Plus our relationship is still new and if I'd be on his shoes, I'd choose my friends who I had bonded long with, over some girl who I just met off dating app and later decided to be steady with. And tbh, I try my best to make him live his life the way it is, I try not to see him everyday (only text him) because I don't want his life to revolve only around me. And that goes for me as well. I have work, school, and hobbies. Although I'm desperately in need of friends. Sometimes I think about it, maybe I feel jealous because I don't really have friends. I still do have so many baggages from the past and I have recently worked on that when I met him. My depression, anxiety, insecurities, lies, and acceptance. I have recently worked them off as why I'm now ready to make some friends. It took me 8 years to work on my problems too. But now this jealousy, it's so new to me and I'm scared that I should've started relationships with him in the first place. I could've worked on myself first. And regrets... Having it less in my life is what I'm lacking. I also lack descisiveness...
I don't have a group of friends or close friends. I'm mostly alone and I don't connect to people easily. My boyfriend on the otherhand has many friends. Pretty social guy and I'm honestly insecure and jealous of his social life.
I want a boyfriend but Italy is homophobic. I'm so fucking tired of living.
I really want a boyfriend but Italy is homophobic as hell. And I might sound silly, but I've been going without human contact for about a year and for how introverted I might be, I don't want to feel lonely.