So i overthinking today. I think i have breast cancer. I have thought about this for quite few days. I did some research on how to check it yourself. I've realise it when i lay on my right and i felt uncomfortable i touch it i think feel there's a small ball. It can be false alarm. I'm nervous whenever I think about it. So that is that. Overthinking
My mom really seems to miss me since I moved out, so she suggested we take a mother-daughter vacation together. The thing is, I really don't want to do that. But I don't want to tell her, because how could I without hurting her feelings? I love my mom, but I know that I would hate a vacation with her. I'm simply someone who needs a lot of alone time, which is not exactly manageable on a two person trip. I also don't know what to talk about with her for a whole week, we usually start sitting in awkward silence after just a few hours when we meet. And then there's the money aspect. I don't make much money and would rather safe it up for some things I actually want; a big vacation with my boyfriend, a new computer would be nice... But I can't even say this as an excuse because I know she'd rather pay for the whole trip than not go, and I absolutely don't want this because she's not much more financially stable than I am. I usually would say "suck it up, it's just a week and you can make your mom happy", but my life is currently so stressful, juggling school and a job, and I get only three weeks real vacation a year. The thought of only having two weeks that I can use to relax makes me almost vomit. I feel so torn between that, and not wanting to hurt my mom.
I'm battling porn. I am married and one of my favorite female companions is a stripper. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the future. I'm afraid of greatness. I'm afraid of what my wife will say about me pursuing my dreams.
He send me flowers been very romantic guy. deceived me into thinking he would get married with me and have babies. after we got used to each other he wanted to have sex with me even forced me one time. Now he left me for not having sex with him. But i feel pretty connected to him. He said it would be okay to have sex after marriage before. I asked him many times if it would be okay. well i am fucked up again
I lost my mom to cancer 68 days ago. Sometimes I feel okay and sometimes I’m so sad thinking that I won’t see her anymore. I still hear her voices in my head and I don’t want to forget them.
It was stupid of me for thinking you cared for me as much I cared for you
Sometimes I feel so dark, lonely and lovelorn that I just lay myself on my bed completely without energy to do anything.
I've watched tranny porn a few times but I'm not attracted or fascinated by dick at all. When I do it's because I feel lonely and unworthy of women.
What will you all say to me, a grown man, about not being able to have a relationship?
I'm just so sad and lonely all the time. The only time I'm not felling like this is when I'm gaming or masturbating to porn. I barely have friends, I see them once a week or so. My mother and her partner are both near 60 and all they do is sleep and complain. I wish things were better but it's only downhill from here on out. I'm almost 40 BTW.