I have a suspicion that my mother was molested as a child. Her attitudes towards sex seem like there is some sort of trauma attached. Her parents divorced when she was about 5 and put her in an orphanage. She spent her teenage years trying to pick up American soldiers at the bars around Rammstein airforce base. When she came to America after her soldier husband died she started fucking new guys, including his brother within 3 months. She is what we call a never-single. One of her bfs was going great until he got sick and it caused impotence, so she dumped him for an illiterate farm hand whom she dated off and on for nearly 20 years. Now she's in her 50s and freaking out because she hasn't had sex in 2 months and can't find any takers. She gets violently angry at the idea people have the ability to not have sex, particularly those who wait for marriage. When I turned down easy women she assumed I was gay. She got violently angry and threatened to put me in an asylum when she found out I was abstaining. When I married a woman who was not like her she became more angry. She tried to pay my wife to leave me, and then to have an abortion. When that didn't work she rage quit and disowned me. I have known many women who were molested. They usually react in one of two ways. Extreme fear of sex, or extreme minimalization of it's importance. Like it's a meaningless bodily function like taking a shit. All of my friends worked through their issues as teens and are all well adjusted and married with kids now. Maybe I'm making assumptions, but either way she is a dangerous lunatic.
Because I choose the wrong model of smartphone when ordering I now have to pay an extra 70 euros. The online store won't give me my money back. So now I'll have a 200 euros expense. It's a great model but I'm not that well financially to make such an expensive purchase.
my life got worse when I became a christian.. I'm not against ppl who are into it but it's not for me. I just want to stay away from it
Sometimes I wish my boyfriend would give me a gift. Maybe I hope he will be sweet to me from time to time. But whenever I hint for just a single flower or treat me to snacks, he would start telling me he is not a sugar daddy. It just makes me feel bad and pissed at the same time. We always go on dutch when we go out. I sometimes make surprises for him. I spend my own money for my needs, bills and personal things. Already told him it isn't funny. It just really make me feel bad. Is it wrong to ask for a gift or being sweet?
I feel hopeless. Like I am being tested or punished
I just got assaulted by mosquitoes...even the soles of my feet were bitten (._.)
I'm sad and I want someone to hold me and stroke my hair, but I've moved out so I can't go to my parents for that anymore.
I just feel inferior to other people. That's my problem. Current therapist is not of much help. The psych side of my country's public health system sucks anyway. I might be better off going to a private psychiatrist but I can't afford it. That would be what, 80€ per visit? I don't have that sort of money. I need to get a job or something, something that doesn't take too much time away from studying.
I don't think anyone will want to marry me... Once you get to know me there's almost nothing to like about me. And I don't think I could be in a relationship anyway with a shitty self-esteem like this.
I get horny really often but masturbating makes me feel really bad about myself afterwards.