I've kept it up as long as I could. But yesterday's argument was the snapping point for me. I always considered the person's ability to hope a strong quality. That no matter the endeavors and trials they might face, that hope is the one thing that gives them the strength to push forward the ongoing storm. Hope, a powerful ally and a warm trait to always admire. I've always considered my hope to be hardly unbreakable. I've treked a lot of trials and pains and always held onto hope. Until I met my fiancee. we've been together for close to three years now (you might recall me from the Eric confession two days ago). We've had our fair share of arguments that reach extreme levels to the point where we are on couple's counseling. She constantly wonders why we're together and I'm always holding on to hope that we can find the middle ground to be better and last a lifetime. until. until yesterday she admitted she never had hope for us and still doesnt. that broke me. she admitted to not putting as much effort as i do and she doesnt feel exactly as strongly as I do about her. So why should I hope for s better resolution when she doesnt? who should I work myself to death with two jobs, the sole income provider of the house for us and a two year old child? why should I spend hours on end away from them for her to not have hope for us? so I gave up my hope. it's dead. this relationship is in the hands of the fates.
to completely love myself and not constantly compare myself to anyone else is personally one of the most hardest things i have to deal with. which kind of sounds tone deaf and 1st world but i've come to realise that its alot harder than just being said
should you revaluate your whole friendship with someone when all you feel like is competing with them 24/7? who gets more likes, followers, friends, who's prettier, skinnier etc. When all you feel like is keeping tabs/scores and one upping them in every single fucking thing they do. I've been doing this to an extreme that if something goes wrong (like them getting close to my friends) i completely fall apart and have a mental breakdown thinking im ugly, useless, worthless.. I know this isn't normal; i need to improve my mental health and just get better in general but i don't know if keeping this friendship would help me heal in the process or if it would be faster and quicker if i just let go and focus on me.
None of my friends ever get excited about the things that I get excited about. Conversations with Friend A are always about her, and when I try to talk about something that's important to me, she shortly acknowledges it but then immediately jumps to a topic that makes it impossible for me to talk about my stuff, because it's something like "I feel like killing myself again" that's impossible to ignore. Friend B is a one-upper, I don't think I have to explain that ("Oh congrats on your good work evaluation! I am getting promoted next Friday. But yours is good too!"). Friend C manages to make everything I get excited about sound boring as hell, like something that's already widely known and not worth talking about. Like when I found out that my ex boyfriend is the new anchor on a major TV channel, which was big news for me (because... how often do you see someone you know on TV?), she was like "yeah I've known that for ages, I think everybody does. He actually told my friend Harper a month ago. It's not like he's the new president." I'm so sick of never being allowed to be excited about anything. The cherry on top is that they constantly tell me to see a therapist because they fear I'm depressed. "You just never seem excited about anything!" Oh I wonder why not
I was thinking about loving myself pr self love and notice so many you inside of me, I just don't know to be happy or not because I probably will still end up love you more than me.
I feel like my life is a video game. Every level just gets harder and harder each time. I want to rage quit, I dont think I'll make it through the rest. Things in life just get more complicated.
I love a girl who is engaged and she's like, a celebrity in a way, and there's thousands of people who love her, and i hate feeling this because obviously i won't be with her, but it won't go away i just love her so much. actually she's like my hero and my role model, i learn a lot with her and she give me confidence because she's a bit like me. yeah i think about her a lot and i don't want to anymore. i wish i never seen her
I know i shouldn't be mad, i dont have the rights to, but i introduced one of my friends to another group of friend of mine and they have unexpectedly gotten closer leaving me out on everything, i thinks it's abit rude idfk. am i trippen too hard being unreasonable? or can someone reassure me that im not because i need an explanation on why i feel so jealous
I'm in an online group that is based around costume building. It's a place for people to ask questions, get feedback, or just generally post progress pics of their costumes. Well one girl in particular has posted a few times asking for help because she's very lost on how to go forward, she's barely even started. I noticed no one was really acknowledging her anytime she posted. So I chimed in with some tips, sent her some example pics and a tutorial video link. Then she started talking to me about her personal life. And now she won't stop. This 16 year old girl is very sweet but I do not have the energy or time for an emotionally troubled person to latch on to me right now. But I feel guilty telling her to leave me alone, because she just needs a friend to talk to. But I'm 23 and I'm starting to worry she sees me as some kind of maternal figure to bring all of her problems to, even though in reality I'm basically a kid myself. Sorry for the long rant, I just... I hate this. Why can't I just be nice to people without them attaching themselves to me like leeches? Why am I a magnet for people who are beyond my help? Why do I have to be scared that I'll have to deal with another broken person latching on to me if I help them with a simple, unrelated task? I just want to be nice without turning into everyone's therapist.
i.am having a very hard time right now. I was molested from the age of 8-13 byy dad's best friend. I could never ever tell and felt so guilty that at age 40 it still haunts me. he was a middle school VP so. sure he did more horrible things his granddaughter is rebelling at 5he world and 8 see slot of myself in her. how did my parents not know. as a mama I would know. at 24 I was raped again by a friend who I thought cated deeply for me. then last year in October a stranger in Walmarts parking lot attacked me. WHY ??? I HAVE PTSD and my husband left because of it.