despite making up 13% of the U.S population, black individuals commit 60% of all violent crime (rape, murder, assault) but let's pretend that ''racism'' is a real thing lol
I crave fear for my life
it is hard for me to believe my mom wanted to have me, I think that she thinks I'm ugly and annoying.
I have cried secretly in the bathroom in the middle of the night, when I cry I think about how much pain I'll be in if my grandmother dies so I can cry more.
i deleted my reddit account where i'd be talking about Rose and reading news of her and just telling everyone how awesome she is and that shes my hero and that shes beautiful, i deleted it all , i don't want to think about her anymore because lately my mind has been getting darker and darker, i end upthinking how she has a husband and how she won't ever like me and i feel like killing myself very strongly, so i don't want to think about her anymore, i just want to follow my dreams yes shes still my hero and who inspired me and in a way gave me permission to dream but my dreams and my life are my own, if i keep going like i was she wouldn't like me when we met, or we would never meet because i would kill myself. i want when she meets me she looks up to me too and thinks i am doing well and thinks i am dignified and respectable, and i want to chase my dreams and do the best i can
My mom refuses to excercise. she has to better her health so if we end up catching corona she has chances to survive, but she doesn't do anything, she doesn't listen to me even tho im literally a fitness expert and its what i do with my whole frickin life. she reads bullshit online to try to contradict or dismiss whatever i say, like ''this way to workout is better than that way'' but then she doesn't do anything she just uses information to paralyze herself. i'm wasting my whole year simply because i have to protect them, the least she could do is go fucking workout everyday and get her lungs healthier
I have a 4 inch penis
To my younger self: You should learn yourself and let yourself grow as a person instead of getting into back to back to back relationships to seek the validation and safety your parents don't ever seem to provide. That one guy? You should let him go sooner than you think. He causes you a lot of trauma in the end. If you stay with him though, don't forgive him for cheating on you. It won't be worth it. Next time you want to kill yourself? Do it. The world right now is shitty and the quality of life is low. That combined with your current mental state...it makes you crazy. Better to just make it stop...
I don't trust my best friend anymore and at the same time I don't know how to face her and tell her that. Each time I share my secrets with I here them from someone else. She also kind of hides stuff from me and I don't know why. Someone pls tell me what to do😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
the more months i am without leaving my house, the worse my mental health is getting. im scared that the admiration and love i have for a hero of mine is gonna be the only positive thing left for me and im gonna be unhealthily obssesed with her. i don't want to be obssesed about anyone i just want to be a good happy boy, and when i meet my hero in the future i want her to be proud of me , not that she thinks im creepy. im just. i want my life back, and my dreams back, so i can feel good again