how to find tomboy gf
I would be so relieved if we went into lockdown and "couldn't" have Xmas. I might even isolate just to make a point... Not that those maskless idiots out there give a rat's ass of course.
I feel like breaking up with my boyfriend. I told him I consider looking at porn cheating and I found out he lied about not looking it up. He looked up certain women by name and he knows that I have terrible views on my body and he went out of his way to find a girl that looks nothing like me. I feel like he lies about being attracted to me and I'm miserable. I don't know what to do. I confronted him about it and he pretended to not know even though I have evidence of him looking up pornstars. I feel empty inside.
I feel so broken. So distant. This time of year if always hard, but after 9 months of quarantine... It hits harder. I'm detached from reality, I have no energy, no time. My sex drive is non-existent, even though I keep having dreams about being sexually frustrated. My partner is starting to feel unwanted, and he's doubting himself. And I feel terrible about it.
my dream is to find someone who will be my best friend and my gf, and were helping each other everyday more than we help anyone else, and we make time to help each other, id like if we both had same career tbh i think that would be cool, i wish she would understand me and also want to be a ninja, and we dedicate our lives to make ourselve and eachother better ninja as possible and push it to the absolute limit , fuck it lets see how much of a ninja u can really be , i wish someone understood me, other than that person who is out of the question
Yesterday when it was the last round of practice, i was still not tired or anything and wanted to roll more, and the only other person on the mats was this girl i train with sometimes, then i asked her to roll and i started off really chill, but she used all her mean-ness right away and got my back, and then she choked me in front of everyone :/ cuz it was about to change classes, so not only was everyone who was at jiu jitsu was watching but also everyone that had just arrived for kickboxing class :/ i did not like it, cuz now everyone gonna think im not good, also the girl who did it to me, i kinda of like her and i wanted to do good for her to think well of me, not to be choked by her so easy :/ today theres practice again and im gonna be MEAN >:( and not get choked
im a 25 yr old guy and i havent had sex in like 2 and a half years and last time i did it it was bad. i had done it before and it was much better, i realize its because i need to feel safe i guess and im kind of insecure. i dont think i can really frick someone in the first date like my friends do unless we really, really really really like, click i guess. i dunno im just weird. i feel like a hole in my chest sometimes really bad, and despair. i dont want to be alone so much it just, it just sucks, it sucks really bad, i want to get like a hug and be kissed and feel comfortable enough to even have sex and not feel like im being judged or wrong for the way that i am
I'm not mad that you don't like me, I'm mad that sometimes you act like you do and then pretend like nothing just happened. I wish you were just a bit more honest with me. I'm getting tired of always watering a dead plant. Always the one reaching out and being there but never having any one. or maybe I'm just being dramatic and overthinking things again.
i havent messaged that person anymore but today was tough, i cried all day and had terrible thoughts, i feel so stupid and like im the worst because what i said wasnt good enough for her to think well of me idk. i just want to keep training and hopefully get really good. i cry today about how i wasted my teens and early 20s
My mother told me today that she pretended that I didn't exist alot. A least she was honest.