Hearing my parents yell at each other and dismiss each others' feelings makes me want to stay single forever.
Apparently my neighbor hasn't had hot water for months, since before Easter? It can't be that she hasn't paid her bills bc she's got heating. I feel guilty because I should offer to let her use my bathroom but it's so untidy here and I have no energy to clean. I don't want her to see how I live bc she thinks I'm competent...
i feel like sometimes i'll never get a boyfriend for the sole reason of i wouldn't want anyone to fuck me before marriage lol. maybe it's my self conscious talking but EVEN though if i DO get a loving boyfriend that loves me wholeheartedly i feel like he'll eventually have that 'itch' and i don't mean to stereotype the average dude but i feel like if i dont fullfill or satisfy his needs he'll eventually get bored of me, blinded by lust then cheat on me. yikes
I'm starting to seriously not care anymore. It's pointless no one else gives a fuck why should I. Done fighting to be loved done being hurt by people who just don't care
Alright, I know this is a stupid thing to be upset about, but that's why I'm complaining here and not to people I know. So I finally managed to grow my nails out super long, which is actually pretty hard to do since I work in a factory. And I painted them all pretty and they look fabulous. Well, I broke one. Figures. But y'know, not a huge deal, one is just shorter than the others. But then I smashed my finger so hard at work that the nail polish popped clean off of that finger, all in one piece. I wouldn't be upset about this, except that now I have long, gorgeous nails... and then one very short unpainted nail. So it looks like I got those fake acrylic nails and one just fell off. I don't even care about that finger looking so different except that I know everyone thinks my nails are fake, and I'm sad about that because I'm actually kind of proud of myself for making them look so good. It's like when you spend days on a drawing but then no one believes that you actually drew it. idk like I said, I know it's dumb, I just needed to tell someone how I feel.