I knew my crush supposedly had a secret girlfriend- but since I heard this from someone else, not him, I've been skeptical about the validity of the statement. But I had an idea of who it was and why it would be best to keep it on the down low. And today, I saw them together outside of work, and she was riding in his car. She lives pretty far away from our side of town, so she had no reason to be riding with him... unless she was going home with him. I mean it's possible that she had car trouble and he was giving her a ride despite the distance because he's just a very kind person, and he's given rides to several people who lived way out of his way. But they've been friends for a while now, and they have really good chemistry despite her being a wild rebel and him being a reserved goody two shoes. Don't get me wrong, I think she's great and I even consider her my friend. One of the few people at work that I'd hang out with outside of work. But seeing them together made me feel sick to my stomach. Knowing that the whole time I thought he might be flirting with me, he was probably actually waiting for her to get promoted so that she didn't work in his area anymore. Knowing that the whole time I was trying to get him to realize how important he is to me, he was probably trying to get her to realize how important she is to him. I'm happy for them, I really am. I just... feel so shattered. So stupid. I can't believe I thought someone like him would actually like someone like me, especially when my competition is a smart, funny girl who is also literally a model. Even I think she's hot. I just wanted to vent my feelings here because even though I wish them the best, I can't help but hurt inside, and I don't know who to talk to about this.
I'm addicted to porn.
She makes me crazy, she's like a drug and i want her so bad. It's unbelievable, the crave. I must feel her lust again.
I have this irrational fear of being assaulted during a run. There are so many reports about female runners getting attacked and assaulted. It even happened to a woman in the next town on a Saturday morning...it really scares me. I know I sound irrational but it does happen from time to time that you get followed in the park by strangers or get stopped and asked personal information. It makes me feel really uneasy but what am I supposed to do? I can't call to police on a guy who happens to cross my path 10 times on a 5k (even though he was on a bike and for that should have been a lot faster than me by foot) and keeps staring at me. I just hate the feeling of being this helpless. And it angers me how every woman knows this feeling because it's "normal" and happens to us regularly...
I confess my feelings to Jay..And now he's ignoring me...I just said that i like him but i'm not asking to be liked back if he really don't have feelings for me..He blocked me on facebook and messenger although we still see each other at school but he's acting like i'm stranger....
i am a med student. while studying psychiatry i read about panic disorders and found out, that i experienced a panic attack while not beeing able to find proper christmas presents for my family.
Some internet friends decided they wanted to mail around a traveling journal of sorts for all of us to write in, and I agreed to participate. The person before me took several months to get to me because they ran into some troubles and couldn't afford to ship it- but it was no big deal, I didn't mind. Then I finally got it, and I too fell on hard times. My grandpa was sick for weeks and then eventually passed. Then three other family members passed away in the following weeks. Work started getting busy for the Christmas season, and it only got worse the closer it got to Christmas. I and everyone else got some kind of flu-like virus. I had to spend every last cent on Christmas gifts because my dad conveniently decided to not pay the phone bill, and my mom had to cover it, leaving nothing extra for Christmas. Just thing after thing kept happening where I didn't have the time or money to send the journal. And on top of that I initially had anxiety over what to even write in it. I've had it for a couple months, about as long as the person before me, but one of my friends keeps hounding me about it and making me feel so immensely guilty for still having it. I can't apologize any more, I couldn't control the things that happened. But I feel so awful. I feel like I ruin everything, and I shouldn't have even tried to write in it. I should have just passed it on without writing in it, or even just never agreed to participate at all. I'm never doing something like this again. The universe always finds ways to make me struggle with deadlines. And I'm tired of trying to fight it and just disappointing the people I care about.
I've been on a app called Amino, I roleplay there with some friends. It gives and helps me look at things in a different perspective, learn from it in a way. out of roleplay to real life. I met 3 great guy friends and my other girl friend. We end up dating one another in roleplay but things took a bit further. We end up catching feelings for one another in real life out of roleplay and we didn't care at all, we were happy. As for me on the other hand, I found my ideal type on role play and in real life with in one of my 3 guy friends. We've done everything together but, soon enough another friend of mine decided to break my relationship I had with my significant other. Causing to take me away from him and I wasn't able to stop my friend. Jealousy got in the way and things got awkward with my friends and I, including my significant other. Although timed passed, me and him made up and our feelings became much more stronger, so everything went back the way it was. That's until reality came, we got busy and didn't have time for one another, even if we did make time for it. Sadly my guy friends went ghost on us, leaving me and my girlfriend by ourselves waiting for their return. More time passed of course and they came back, but everything changed.. we didnt share laughs or show affection and support like we used too. Relationships between one another went.. missing, in a way. The little spark we had for one another was there and we are trying to bring it back and make it bigger... 2/3 of the boys went ghost again but my friend and I have the other on Skype, we talk and my friend and I ask how are the other two since they know eachother. He lets us know how things are between the 3 of them but.. Again we don't talk the same as we use too, the guys would reply back to my friend and me once a day or even more than a few. My friend's significant other currently left her, after a promise of not leaving her when he actually did. So I am currently giving her my absoutle positivity I have very little left. As for mine, I wait and wait and wait... and wait to get a text from him, and I do get it. I'd rather get one text from him than not get one from him at all. Even so me and him do show signs we do like eachother still, but sometimes i think otherwise... and it hurts. I miss the group and what we had together, I even miss him. He was my first love but sadly Everything changed now and the little spark we have is at the point of going out now.
Spending another New Year's Eve alone wouldn't have mattered, except that I actually thought I might have someone to share it with this time. Silly me, getting my hopes up and thinking I actually had a chance with him. At least I didn't have to suffer the pain of getting rejected. I just had to suffer the pain of finding out he found someone else before I got the chance to ask him.
I feel guilty when people give me gifts, especially expensive ones. I feel even worse if the gift is spontaneous/without reason, though I still feel this way on my birthday and on Christmas. Christmas isn't as bad because I can at least give something back- but if they give me something expensive I feel bad for not being able to do the same for them. I just feel undeserving of gifts.