sex with me never will be enough im always gonna be competing. i rarely can satisfy him no matter what ive tried but things/people outside of our relationship never seem to fail at getting him off. never will it be just him and me.
it's hard loving someone who doesn't even exist anymore
I crave affection. I couldn't care less about sex, but I so badly need someone to lay next to, someone to hold, someone to kiss and touch. Someone to hold hands with. Someone to smile about. Someone to love.
I dont know what to do. Im losing sleep fighting these nasty ass bed bugs that just dont seem to go away. I treat and I treat and I treat and nothing seems to be working. I feel like ripping my hair out. I dont my family to be eating alive as we sleep. Its disgusting.
Was trying to figure out what cancer it is...it's been in my brain, Affected the jaw, tongue, chest, swallowing thinking, movement or maybe it was more than one type?
The thing I hate most about depression is how it sucks all of the energy and motivation right out of you. It slowly withers away the joy you get from things until you don't enjoy anything anymore. You just feel so exhausted, so tired all the time, so weak and feeble to the point that even standing up out of bed leaves you almost out of breath. It physically affects you, on top of all of the mental bullshit it puts you through, all of the doubt and anxiety and self hatred. The sheer emptiness. The perceived isolation. Being depressed is so much more than just being sad, and I wish people would quit telling people like me to 'just be happy' or to 'get over it'. I wish our parents and roommates would understand when we only have enough energy to do half of the dishes, or when some days it takes everything we have to just make ourselves eat a meal. I wish people realized depression is not just some emo kid with too much eyeliner listening to punk rock and cutting themselves. Depression is a shadow that is always looming, a weight you always bear, a battle you must fight every single day. I wish more people cared about getting mentally ill people actual help and not just throwing them in an asylum or pumping them full of meds. I wish my friends and family saw how hard I try for them, how much I care for them, how terribly I suffer forcing myself to push through for them. And I wish more of them cared.
My boyfriend tells me to punch his dick and twist it when he gets irritated. so last night when he said I did it... I am a terrible person.
i dont know why i feel so entitled, possessive and jealous when my best friend hang out with her other best friend, it's not like shes bound to me or anything so i dont know why i feel this way. whenever i see them together i overthink about all the things they're catching up on without me, all the unshared secret stories they're sharing without me, calculating the amount of times they're meeting up and chances of them getting closer; i start panicking. i know i have a problem and i know it isn't healthy and i feel like its the insecurities talking
I have social anxiety, even when it comes to my family. I haven't called my grandma to thank her for a Christmas or birthday gift in years, because I'm too afraid of telephoning. My grandpa is a retired plumber and I currently need a plumber for a few problems in my apartment, but I'm too shy to call and ask. It's actually easier for me to ask a stranger because then at least I don't have to chit chat. I haven't ever told my dad that I love him because I'm too awkward. It works best with my mom, but even with her I'm at a level that most people are with their loved great aunt or something. It's not cool.
Confession #17 When I was little, I hated the world so much that I used to pretend movies like Charlie and the Choclate factory and Grease were real, and I would pretend that was the world I lived in..