I really don't like my life right now. I don't like the anxiety I feel constantly. My friend group no longer feels like my friends. I always feel this need to runaway, but I don't want to leave my husband and animals. I feel trapped and on the verge of crying everyday. I don't understand why I feel this way.
todays jiu jitsu practice wasnt all well and good, it was rough today, i was so lazy and beat up. also a girl kinda made me help her steal lemons from lemon tree and it was awkward she wasnt that nice to me i felt kinda used and as if someones been mean to me
today i was trying to go to the park nearby to smoke a joint then this girl that usually shows up to smoke (shes cute as heck) was like help me get some lemons and i was like omg ... fine.. then we was straight stealing those lemons lmao it was funny but afterwards i felt bad like, idk she just used me i guess :/ didnt even wanna hangout with me afterwards and wasnt that nice to me at all , i am ugly and super awkward tho so i understand, but just like damn, if i was different she would probably be nice to me :/ i need that
the cute girl at the square was talking to me and my friend today and i didnt know what to say to her cuz im a awkward and lonely and sad and depression, i just wanted to talk to her more and not be so weird , i could only talk about dumb stuff, i kinda decided that fuck it, next time i see her im gonna talk about whatever i want :p i want to ask her if she likes martial arts, she said she reads books, i want to ask her if she took bong hits, i wish REALLy tho, that i could just ask 'do u have a problem with me being a feminine boi??'' just right away, cuz otherwise its gonna hurt a lot if i start liking her and she doesnt know im basically gay, but with girls, i dont like men at all tho
Is it wrong to miss my puppy love (first love) when i was 12? We never see each other, he’s in another country. I won’t forget how he used make me feel. I’m 20 now, we still talk once in a while. Asking about each other, saying how are you. Nothing more. He’s changed how he treated me. I have a loving bf, and I’m pretty sure he has someone too though he never says that. But this feeling never goes away
i wonder if like of all the possible futures that my life could take from now on, i wonder if theres a path i take that leads to Rose being in my life and giving me hugs and telling me everything is gonna be ok
I can't living like this, I'm fucking isolated from the world my whole life I've been homeschooled my sister has been homeschooled since middle school. I've never had a friend beside family (and I don't really count that) in my WHOLE 12 years of living. also me and my sister NEVER leave the house, a FUCKING PRISONER gets more outside time than US. we're inside at least 78% of the time, especially during the winter not only that let's say we do get to go somewhere like, the park, restaurants the mall, than that means MY PARENTS ARE SHOVED UP MY ASS THE ENTIRE TIME. Their is no "going to a place by yourself" because my dad keeps reminding me that this City USED TO BE the murder capital, Jesus Christ if your going to have a child AT LEAST let them have normal human interaction and my dad keeps promising me "oh no, it'll get better!" "don't worry, you'll have friends someday." I've been hearing this for about 9 years. imagine hearing people say stuff like "lmao I have no friends." while knowing about how you literally cannot have friends. Maybe you're thinking "well than, why do you have a e-mail and this app if your parents isolate you so much?" I had to go behind there back just like my sister did to have social contact! I made a account on unsafe kids chat websites and did things I wish I didn't just because I was a lonely piece of shit. At this point I'm surprised that I don't have depression or some other thing with the way I've been brought up (sorry for all the bad grammar and cursing)
i need a vehicle but terrified of riding motorcycles again... i had a big crash and ptsd from it years ago.. now i need transportation i cant live like this, i cant afford uber at all.. i need a job of some kind but i dont have i am sad sad sad sad sad sad
I don't think my boyfriend is ever going to be truly happy with life. He always sees the bad side and is envious of others people life, it's just really depressing being around that negativity all day. I just don't understand it, I mean life isn't the greatest, sure, but not everything's bad. And it makes everything worse...even if there is something nice going on, he immediately talks about bad stuff and is depressed..
just deleted tinder im too ugly to be using that