None of my friends ever get excited about the things that I get excited about. Conversations with Friend A are always about her, and when I try to talk about something that's important to me, she shortly acknowledges it but then immediately jumps to a topic that makes it impossible for me to talk about my stuff, because it's something like "I feel like killing myself again" that's impossible to ignore. Friend B is a one-upper, I don't think I have to explain that ("Oh congrats on your good work evaluation! I am getting promoted next Friday. But yours is good too!"). Friend C manages to make everything I get excited about sound boring as hell, like something that's already widely known and not worth talking about. Like when I found out that my ex boyfriend is the new anchor on a major TV channel, which was big news for me (because... how often do you see someone you know on TV?), she was like "yeah I've known that for ages, I think everybody does. He actually told my friend Harper a month ago. It's not like he's the new president." I'm so sick of never being allowed to be excited about anything. The cherry on top is that they constantly tell me to see a therapist because they fear I'm depressed. "You just never seem excited about anything!" Oh I wonder why not
I was thinking about loving myself pr self love and notice so many you inside of me, I just don't know to be happy or not because I probably will still end up love you more than me.
I feel like my life is a video game. Every level just gets harder and harder each time. I want to rage quit, I dont think I'll make it through the rest. Things in life just get more complicated.
I love a girl who is engaged and she's like, a celebrity in a way, and there's thousands of people who love her, and i hate feeling this because obviously i won't be with her, but it won't go away i just love her so much. actually she's like my hero and my role model, i learn a lot with her and she give me confidence because she's a bit like me. yeah i think about her a lot and i don't want to anymore. i wish i never seen her
I know i shouldn't be mad, i dont have the rights to, but i introduced one of my friends to another group of friend of mine and they have unexpectedly gotten closer leaving me out on everything, i thinks it's abit rude idfk. am i trippen too hard being unreasonable? or can someone reassure me that im not because i need an explanation on why i feel so jealous
I'm in an online group that is based around costume building. It's a place for people to ask questions, get feedback, or just generally post progress pics of their costumes. Well one girl in particular has posted a few times asking for help because she's very lost on how to go forward, she's barely even started. I noticed no one was really acknowledging her anytime she posted. So I chimed in with some tips, sent her some example pics and a tutorial video link. Then she started talking to me about her personal life. And now she won't stop. This 16 year old girl is very sweet but I do not have the energy or time for an emotionally troubled person to latch on to me right now. But I feel guilty telling her to leave me alone, because she just needs a friend to talk to. But I'm 23 and I'm starting to worry she sees me as some kind of maternal figure to bring all of her problems to, even though in reality I'm basically a kid myself. Sorry for the long rant, I just... I hate this. Why can't I just be nice to people without them attaching themselves to me like leeches? Why am I a magnet for people who are beyond my help? Why do I have to be scared that I'll have to deal with another broken person latching on to me if I help them with a simple, unrelated task? I just want to be nice without turning into everyone's therapist.
i.am having a very hard time right now. I was molested from the age of 8-13 byy dad's best friend. I could never ever tell and felt so guilty that at age 40 it still haunts me. he was a middle school VP so. sure he did more horrible things his granddaughter is rebelling at 5he world and 8 see slot of myself in her. how did my parents not know. as a mama I would know. at 24 I was raped again by a friend who I thought cated deeply for me. then last year in October a stranger in Walmarts parking lot attacked me. WHY ??? I HAVE PTSD and my husband left because of it.
Even though I'm young I've always been very mature and self-centered, there was a time in which I could say without a doubt that I loved myself. That's not the case anymore. Last year I went through a hard deppresive state, thankfully I'm better now, but the insecurities and anxiety keeps punching me every night. I'm always looking for validation of others. I feel ugly and I want people to tell me that I'm good at something to feel better with myself. Also, I confessed to a guy that I liked, he explained that he didn't want anything serious. I knew that I shouldn't kept things that way, but I did. So literally he played for a night stand and never talked to me again. I feel so angry with myself for that, I knew it would happen and I knew it would hurt, but again I wanted to feel accepted one more time. I don't know what to do now, there is a part of me that knows how valuable I am, but it just cannot fulfill my wanting to feel loved and appreciated. My friends always talk to me asking for help, with really hard life struggles and I don't want to go there explaining my egotistical problem because they are going through a lot and my problems will never resemble. I just want to love myself again.
I'm sorry my love. I let you down so many times. i cant look in the mirror without wanting to put my fist through it. I hate myself for causing you pain. it makes me wish I had the guts to end my own life when I hear you are hurting, crying, or having trouble financially. if I get this tax thing sorted out I would like to pay a bill or your rent or buy parts so you can get your vehicle fixed. I know it wont fix the damage I did to you or our relationship. I'm not trying to win you back or anything. the gesture is only intended to be taken as a token of my gratitude for the happynes and good times we had together over the last 8 years. a thank you for trying so hard to keep us together as long as you did. C.F.P, I'm so sorry I hurt you I'm not asking you to forgive me. but please find your happyness, you deserve it.
found myself walking through the cemetery. Never in my life have I wanted so bad to find the same peace I see but for the 1st time I actually have something to live for.