I couldn't properly punch my friend in the face when we were having boxing sparring day and i feel stupid about it. im supposed to be better at boxing than him but i felt like my hands weighed 20kilos. cuz i only joined the gym to have friends and like subconsciously my body i guess doesnt want to punch them, cuz they could get upset. but now they are judging me because i wasn't as good as i should be, and i am sad. i want to have friends but also that wont get mad if i punch .. i know its so sad that i joined just for friends.. and i will never tell them this.. so next time i will punch them all in the nose really hard
I want my parents to break up. My mother is what I'd like to call "the side chick." The thing is, my father already had a family. She and my father knew about the consequences and decided to have a kid. They had me. Damn that moment. I tied them together so that sucks. I love them both to death but they shouldn't be together. Their relationship is toxic. They fight all the goddamn time. Then they make up. it's an endless cycle and I'm tired of it. They should just leave each other. I don't mind. How do i tell them about my emotions about their relationship? I'm probably gonna be slapped if i say anything like this.
You know what's annoying? Getting feelings that you KNOW aren't true but they stay anyway. E.g. phobias (for me it's about dust), jealousy when you see your partner talking to their friend who is same gender as you, and the classic "I'm worthless and global problems are my fault" -feeling.
Do you still come here hoping to read one of my confessions? Well, i still come here to write about you. I could not get over you, over us. We were happy in your den, our refuge. But the real world was not for us. We could not make it. You know this, and i know i am to blame for leaving, but it was the least damaging thing i could do. I broke your heart, i know. But i also broke mine. I wish we could have a talk, maybe it could help... Closure... Or it would do just more damage...
I know i'm worthless, i can't do anything. I sometimes trying to love myself, but i can't people just keep judging me, makes my confidence down, and i end up with crying by myself. And the hard part is i can't tell anybody about this.
there's some dark shit out there man
I feel guilty all the time and I just want to apologize to everyone I see
Hearing my parents yell at each other and dismiss each others' feelings makes me want to stay single forever.
Apparently my neighbor hasn't had hot water for months, since before Easter? It can't be that she hasn't paid her bills bc she's got heating. I feel guilty because I should offer to let her use my bathroom but it's so untidy here and I have no energy to clean. I don't want her to see how I live bc she thinks I'm competent...
i feel like sometimes i'll never get a boyfriend for the sole reason of i wouldn't want anyone to fuck me before marriage lol. maybe it's my self conscious talking but EVEN though if i DO get a loving boyfriend that loves me wholeheartedly i feel like he'll eventually have that 'itch' and i don't mean to stereotype the average dude but i feel like if i dont fullfill or satisfy his needs he'll eventually get bored of me, blinded by lust then cheat on me. yikes