I want my neighbour so bad. I know she's like some 15 years younger than me and it won't ever happen (she deserves someone her age to be able to go places she goes, do things she likes). But God do I long for her embrace!
My friend (and research partner) and I currently partner with the same center. She will be graduating on May while I still have six months/a year to go. Our supervisor offered her a full time job starting June and now I'm very insecure. When we work together we complement each other, she's the type A and I'm a type B; however, I believe she is the better half. I've pulled my act together this past few years but I'm still a very scattered type of person. I'd also really love to work with our supervisor once I graduate, however, I don't think he will have a need for me once she's there. I feel really anxious and helpless. I don't know who to talk about or what to do. I feel like I have no skills and will probably end up working a mediocre job that won't make me happy. I feel as if my ambitions are like water and I'm trying to grab them with my bare hands.
Sometimes i jut want to tell my work colleagues how much i hate them all! Im always smiling at work but inside im just cooking my own blood and thinking “you son of a bitch, piece of shit, want to slap your face with a hammer”
I was so happy when i got this job.. it turned out as a fucking nightmare!!! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! The worse thing is that i refused another job because of this shit :/.. maybe was the other better (or even worse! I will never know) Im just pissed of :/
I hate my work sooo much.. i cant affort do quite because im broke.. and cant seqrch for another one because this one tools me alreqdy month to find.. Im a fucking accauntant.. i thought working wir numbers where easy.. but is so shitty.. Im soo nervous the last month.. my heart speeds the whole time.. i have diarrhea every fucking day and i also habe to vomit because im so nervous.. People in there are also shit! They are all asshokes.. nobody give a shit if youre not feeling well.. I count everrryy second every single day to go home.. I cry almost everydaya because of that.. The money is really good :/ but slowly i dont know anymore if i still want this money :/ this is making me so sick! I habe to take calm pills now :/ but it also not working.. im still nervous as fuck! I just wish i wasn so broookee.. fuuuckk >.> I play at the lottery everyday now :/ I have a dream that i tell everyone in this shit job what i really think :/ Im searchibg for another job.. but i just find shitty jobs that pay much much muuuchh less :/ I dont know what to do.. i dont even know what to do to stop vomiting because of this stress.. i was at the doctor and the only thing that he gave me was more calm pills.. Im so fucked :///// not even the doctor can help me anymore!!
I already know that the relationship I have with my girlfriend can't last forever. I'm so helplessly and hopelessly in love with her and I'm in so much denial, telling myself it can work, but... deep down, I know the truth, and it kills me. She's all I ever wanted and all I ever needed, she really gets me and she loves me for who I am because she understands. Our thoughts are so aligned, it's almost like we're the same person. I don't want anyone else. I don't want to love anyone else, don't want to be loved by anyone else. But this can't last forever, and I'm dreading the day it ends.
I can't watch Guardians of the Galaxy. The part at the end with the card from his mom just made me cry so much and not in a good way. Normally, sad parts will make me cry a little but I can still enjoy it and think it's a beautiful story. That scene though, it made me think of the rudest thing I ever said to my mom and how it was for the stupidest thing ever. I can't even remember what it was about, but I know it was stupid and not her fault. I don't even know if I apologized for it. I had flashbacks to that and then thought of how many times I probably hurt her and never apologized. I flashbacked to the night she died and the funeral. I cried for what seemed like hours after the movie was over. I was barely paying attention to the rest of the movie, I was just so upset and trying to not cry. I didn't enjoy feeling like that and I don't know if I could watch it again without breaking down. Just thinking about it now while I type this is making me cry.
Right now it feels like having a 'heart' is a curse...
I like to masturbate and I felt guilty and dirty after. some advice? im a girl
plzzzz i really love to singing and i want to cover a song, my favorite song! but im suck at mixing. WHY MIXING IS SO HARDDDDDDDDD 😭 I'm too broke to have a commission 😭