I feeling like i got no time to lose, and finally working very hard and doing what i could, but now with corona virus, there won't be any gyms for more than a year, and my dream might be crushed because of this, because i cannot afford one year of not learning. this is really terrible. i wish this would just end. this is a nightmare
I feel my heart hurts but I can't cry... I don't know why. It's feel not comfortable and pain in heart more.
i cut ties with my abusive family. now im realizing after i am done lying to myself i have a lot of serious issues from the mental and emotional abuse. it scares me. i Don't know if i can ever forgive them
I handle everything just fine until all my support disappears. The second I find myself facing things alone, I get scared. I get depressed. I can't handle anything on my own. And I hate it. I just want to be able to exist, content with my life regardless of if other people want to be in it. But that will never happen.
My self hatred and my depression made me realise, that the really natural happy me, the one who was really happy with what I had/have, has died long ago. When I look into my mirror in the morning, I just see a broken version of me, unhappy with myself and what is happening around me. I look at me and see everything I hate about me... every detail of my body that I hate is clear for me to see and every bad thing I did and every bad trait I have are... just there... swirling in my head, visualizing in front of my eyes.... Most of the time I cry when I see myself in the mirror. I want to break it.... break it into thousands of little shards, each and every single one being so sharp that they would cut through my flesh in no time... relieving me from my existence in this world. A lot of questions circle around in my head.. What has happened? How did I fall so deep into this endless, dark and cold pit? Why can't I be the happy me again? Why do I want to die?
It seems I'm shadowbanned (by IP probably) from this website. Oh well, it was a good run. I liked confessing the stuff I've seen and done. Well, goodbye.
Everyday i get more nervous for the next Rose fight, last time when she got hurt i was crying for days, i can't stand it if she gets hurt again
If you dont take me seriously, then dont play with my heart. Dont act like a caring guy, dont call me your honey, dont promise me stars, stop being sweet to me, and dont use ur sweet words on me. but yea.. Im still glad with the fact that were not toghether anymore.. I dont need to waste my time over a guy like you.
What about about to confess is an incredibly first world problem, and I realize that, but that's why I'm talking about it here and not anywhere else. I'm honestly really bummed out about Animal Crossing: New Horizons for the simple fact that I can't play it. I don't have a Switch, and I won't for... probably a very long time. This is a stupid thing to be sad over, except that my sadness goes beyond pouting about a video game. I'm sad because I've been living on the brink of poverty my whole life; I've got just enough to get by, but not much extra. And I'm grateful I have that much. But I have never been able to afford to be into the popular things that all my peers were into until way later when all the prices dropped. I'm lucky I ever got to play games at all, but it's incredibly frustrating to always be late to the party. By the time I show up and start getting into something, everyone else is already done with it and over it. I never get to enjoy games with my friends, and I certainly don't make new ones over it. I just started playing Minecraft this year, and I really like it, but when I talk about it, people just scoff and roll their eyes and disdainfully scorn me with 'oh, you still play that?' And that's just the story of my life. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of getting game systems years later after the next console gets put on the market. I'm tired of having to wait until games are out of date to be able to afford them. I'm tired of not being able to play games with my friends... Video games are such a huge part of our society in this culture, and I feel disconnected from the entire world because I'm always a step behind. I just feel that same pain I felt as a kid when I was excluded from everything, except back then everyone was talking about trading Pokémon on their Gameboys, and now everyone's talking about visiting each other's islands on their Switches. Just once I wish I could afford to catch up and hop on the stupid bandwagon.
I'd like to finally get my issues under control. I blow up over the smallest things for no reason, and it isn't healthy...but the last time I went to a therapist, she said it was normal for my age? I just don't want to hurt my boyfriend anymore...