Anyone kinda angry that all this pain, suffering, lost time, being locked down inside a house, fear, people dying, is ALL , LITERALLY , ONLY because Chinese people COULD NOT stop eating exotic wild animals? if they would eat beef chicken and fish like everyone else NONE OF THIS would be happening. And i know some worthless miserable sacks of shit are gonna say that this is RaCiSt but i don't give a fuck. maybe if we had been more RaCiSt the whole world wouldn't be suffering right now. If you're a chinese bat eater, go fuck yourself, i hope you fucking die a horrible death and your whole bat eating family dies so the world becomes a less horrible place.
Have you ever done something wrong so many times and you knew it was wrong. so you try to stop from doing it but just cant? no matter how hard you try, the pull is too damn strong so you keep doing it. And everytime you do it, you feel worse and worse about it but know that you're too far deep to stop, so you keep doing it.
I have a love hate relationship with the fact that my brain recently has started feeling like Sayori's goodbye "poem" in Doki Doki Literature Club.
I think I'm less man because of my penis. This has been a battle for more than 10 years and I complete reject my penis size. Besides being small is also very short (in terms of width), specially when not erected. Also, my testicles skin is very small too (women like big balls). Since I'm 28, almost 29, and being complete virgin in all aspects it doesn't help my confidence having such a small working piece. When erected it has between 10/14cm (I don't remember precisely). I think in the couple years I have set my mind in a state that I'm must be ok on being completly alone for the rest of my life.
I'm not rely open with my depression. I know where it lead me to. It's goes with anxiety and anger that it's hard for me to control. One day I cried too hard to my boyfriend and opened up about my depression. I feel so awful because it terrified him. Everytime I get mad it terrifies him. And I feel like victimizing him towards my depression and I'm starting hate myself. I hate that I have depression and I have to drag people into this. I love my boyfriend but sometimes I'm scared he might leave me because I have this. I just want to hide it or just have it gone before I push people away with it.
The first girl that I really felt heartbroken over, when I was a young teen, took me years to get over. I'm still not sure if that's normal at that age... I was finally able to get over her when I fell for someone new, who I wound up breaking up with later on, due to all the mental abuse. I still think about the second girl sometimes to this day, however; I am in love now with a girl that I met 3 years ago, we've been together for almost 2. I've never put so much healthy efforts into something so good in my life. last year, though, the first girl from my early teens reached out to me. We flirted a little bit (my current girlfriend weren't decided on being official yet) and she wanted me to sleep with her. The nostalgia had us both so fucked up though, I think, that we remembered old feelings and were swept back to the past. It came to the point where I had to choose. The one that got away so many years ago, or the one who I began to build something real with in the present. I chose the future over the past, and so I had to let her go again. I know I chose right. I'm the happiest I've ever been. My girlfriend completes me. But I have to get over the first one all over again...
Does anyone who's happily married ever still think about childhood significant others? Is there a face you see from then that still makes you either sad or tempted? Is this normal?
Random thing to confess I guess, but I kinda just want to tell somebody: I have the sudden urge to go buy some white Vans and customize them with paint and Sharpies. I've been wanting custom art shoes for YEARS and now that I have money to get supplies, I see no reason not to. Except... people might see my shoes as childish or immature if I draw all over them. And part of me doesn't care, but a big part of me honestly does care. Should I even bother to make these shoes, or am I gonna get so much negative feedback on them that I won't want to wear them and I'll have wasted all that money?
it's been almost a year since I managed to get my kids and I away from my abusive ex of 5 year....its took me a year of rebuilding my own self self esteem up enough to resist his constant attacks. although he was so manipulative that he had my own mother siding with him through it all, losing the house, my car, being homeless for 2 months with 3 kids, etc, I still managed to maintain all of the positive changes I'd made to myself. Now, here I am, 10 month later....and I am so broken that I don't know what to do anymore. what caused the crash? the relentless attacks from my mom, my dad backing, her up without even speaking to me for months, being completely isolated and not able to leave my home for weeks at a time due to my anxiety and PTSD.....and to top it all off.... I found out 3 months ago that I am dying.....Which I've kept to myself because I of the lack of support- even emotionally- from my family. I just wonder now why I fought so fucking hard to get my life back, when I wont even be here 6 months from now......
I wake up, only to see the poison injected in my life. Fuck. :-(