Sometimes I hate my own family.
Being sick makes me feel depressed. I just banged my head against a wall singing about shit I wanted to rant about for 10 straight minutes. Being sick is awful, especially when it means that you can't go to school and see the people that make you feel alive. Even gaming, one of my only hobbies, is boring when I'm sick. I can't fucking stand it. I know damn well I have problems, but being sick amplifies them. I can't even tell what those problems are and probably never will be able to unless I go to therapy. But, going to therapy means having to speak to an adult about paying for it. I can't ask someone to pay for my therapy. It just doesn't feel right, making people I barely know (I live in a foster home) pay for my wellbeing. Everything feels wrong, and I hate it.
the edge is too dull and the tip is too scary.
is it bad if i like being used in sex, im a boy
I really don't like my life right now. I don't like the anxiety I feel constantly. My friend group no longer feels like my friends. I always feel this need to runaway, but I don't want to leave my husband and animals. I feel trapped and on the verge of crying everyday. I don't understand why I feel this way.
todays jiu jitsu practice wasnt all well and good, it was rough today, i was so lazy and beat up. also a girl kinda made me help her steal lemons from lemon tree and it was awkward she wasnt that nice to me i felt kinda used and as if someones been mean to me
today i was trying to go to the park nearby to smoke a joint then this girl that usually shows up to smoke (shes cute as heck) was like help me get some lemons and i was like omg ... fine.. then we was straight stealing those lemons lmao it was funny but afterwards i felt bad like, idk she just used me i guess :/ didnt even wanna hangout with me afterwards and wasnt that nice to me at all , i am ugly and super awkward tho so i understand, but just like damn, if i was different she would probably be nice to me :/ i need that
the cute girl at the square was talking to me and my friend today and i didnt know what to say to her cuz im a awkward and lonely and sad and depression, i just wanted to talk to her more and not be so weird , i could only talk about dumb stuff, i kinda decided that fuck it, next time i see her im gonna talk about whatever i want :p i want to ask her if she likes martial arts, she said she reads books, i want to ask her if she took bong hits, i wish REALLy tho, that i could just ask 'do u have a problem with me being a feminine boi??'' just right away, cuz otherwise its gonna hurt a lot if i start liking her and she doesnt know im basically gay, but with girls, i dont like men at all tho
Is it wrong to miss my puppy love (first love) when i was 12? We never see each other, he’s in another country. I won’t forget how he used make me feel. I’m 20 now, we still talk once in a while. Asking about each other, saying how are you. Nothing more. He’s changed how he treated me. I have a loving bf, and I’m pretty sure he has someone too though he never says that. But this feeling never goes away
i wonder if like of all the possible futures that my life could take from now on, i wonder if theres a path i take that leads to Rose being in my life and giving me hugs and telling me everything is gonna be ok