I'm considering to dump a friend of mine. We do have fun together from time to time but his general pessimism and victim complex has been a real drain on my own mental health for too long now. I'm considering to just stop talking and spending time with them all together. Which, by the way, was their suggestion because "I deserve to be with someone who won't drag me down". I didn't want to accept that fact and I still don't feel comfortable with this decision but I don't think I can keep this up much longer.
I feel my wife isn't happy with our marriage. I feel I'm way more dedicated to her and our relationship than she is to me. I'm lost. I don't want to divorce her, but I don't want to be a burden for her. And I don't think it is fair to me to be carrying the relationship. I'm lost, really lost. I don't know what to do.
I thought I was finally over this crush, but today he looked me in the eyes and I just fucking melted. Guess it's back to square one. Why is it so hard to forget someone I never had? I haven't had feelings for him for several months now. Why are they suddenly coming back?
I have a crush on this girl who is a famous athlete like when i learned who she was i was like i feel like i relate to this person then when i watched like some interviews and stuff everything i saw was like, what i had dreamed that someone would be like, like the type of songs she's into, how she thinks about life and sees the world, what attracts her, what food she likes , her fighting style , her humour, is all things that really i have but i was insecure about being myself, she is that way but she is not insecure she has confidence and class trough her art, and i thought that was valuable and precious. also i know this is maybe weird but she's totally kind of hero in my life i dunno like i feel like she is a little bit like i am, and i always used to think oh this sport or that thing is not for someone like me, but she is 'like me' and she's the best in the world and has a good life, so she inspire me to do things. i feel upset everyday that i am just another one she probably has millions of guys like me who would die for her and i can never tell her what she did for me and what i think of it even here i don't have vocabulary enough to explain , because she is artist, the real thing , and she brought art to my life and im just grateful. i hope she never gets hurt ever again
I don't think that I belong here in this world... often when I'm home alone or when I'm out, I think of the many ways that I could die. I hate myself to the extend of me thinking about every way possible of making my death quick and it afterwards being impossible to revive myself. Every day when I have to go out, I hope that I get hit by a car/bus. I just hope that a dumb driver isn't wathing the road and they accidentally hit me. I sometimes have to cross train tracks on my way home and every time I have to cross them, I just stand there, quiet, for about 5-10 minutes, hoping a train just randomly comes around and hits me. I live in a small village and the trains aren't always on time when they pass by our village. So I sometimes hope to be standing there and suddenly be swept away by the train. I just don't want to be alive anymore. I've grown to hate everything that made me happy once and I only fight with my relatives. I have the feeling that I'm more of a burden to them than they say. I think that I'm only doing things wrong and that everyone would be better off without me. I lost contact to almost all my friends, I don't have any real life friends that live close by. My friends are scattered all around the world and I know I will never get to see them. I know that my "friends" in school talk about me behind my back and they secretly make fun of me. I know that I'm not the prettiest. My self hate is killing me slowly from the inside. I know that I'm fat, ugly, lazy, moody and a lot more, but I've fallen into a deep hole of sadness and it's eating me up. I can't seem to get out of it and it scares me.... my mom wants to talk about it with me and she is super understanding, but when I try and tell her about it she is projecting it on her in the sense of what she would do and what would be best if she would be in my place. I told her that I have an appointment with a psychologist to talk about it, she understood. I went ahead afterwards and roughly told my mom what we talked about in the session, she told me that I should have talked about other things with my psychologist. She then asks me about a week later why I'm so moody and sad and why I'm not talking about it with her. I sometimes get the feeling that I'm not loved anymore. I often think that I and many others would be better off if I was dead. The only thing that keeps me here, is my boyfriend. He gives me the feeling of being completely loved and cared for. He tells me that I'm perfect in his eyes, with my flaws and all. He is there for me when I'm feeling down or when I'm crying. He is somewhat the only person that understands me and only the thought of losing him makes me cry. I love him so much because he is the one person that stands behind me no matter what I do. But I'm afraid that I'm going to loose him too eventually.... like everyone else. I just don't know what I'm doing here anymore.....
I have the most massive unbearing heart-breaking crush on Rose Namajunas seriously i'm so desperately in love i would die for her she is so so so precious
I'm crying a lot more often. Everyday. I don't know how much longer i can stand this. I wish I could just get better and go on with my life. I look at photos of you and it breaks my heart. I miss you.
I feel like Raj in the first seasons of BBT.
Been going to local cafe for 6 years 3-4 times a week. All white native british staff and never any problem, friendly, welcoming and trusting. They just employed a Polish woman and every time she sees me she makes me feel uncomfortable. Watching me closely whenever i walk in, even when im at the coffee machine she watches to see what button i press so i dont "claim" to have orderd a cheaper drink. Ive watched her with other white cusotmers and she defintly has a different attitude. Very few ethnic minorities where i live and even fewer visiting the cafe. its not like there a constant problem of theft by dark coloured people. I dont want to complain to the manager in case im seen making a fuss...I feel really anxious going there now, it makes me feel really sad. I dont want to have to carry a big thermos around all day and just be isolated.
I wish I was beautiful and not just "average".