Late nights alone, awake when everyone else is asleep, doesn't have the same feelings as they use to. I was once a proud creature of the night, but now it's like I don't even know this realm anymore. Shame, it was the only place I could really feel in place.
Food makes me feel shame. Eating makes me feel shame. My body makes looking at myself feel shameful.
i do freelance filming and i dont have my own equipment bc theres a place you can rent things from for real cheap, yesterday, i was filming in a club and got kinda drunk... and i woke up just now and realized that a piece from my equipment is missing.... i dont want to be banned from the rental place but i cant see how i wont be. and if i were to pay to replace the item its gonna be so much money... this year sucks
There is a girl that likes me a lot.I like her too but she is from a rich family and i'm from a poor one.She keeps telling me that she loves me. Nomatter how i push her away she keeps coming to me。what shoul i do?
I feel more useless with each day that passes. I wish my mother didn't have to deal with me. I mean I help out as much as I can financially, but it's just not enough. I wish I could do more. I just feel like such a burden.
Watching My 600 Pound Life makes me crave donuts, milkshakes, pie, and pizza...
They're cutting our hours so bad at work. I'm making so much less money, and I'm scrambling to make ends meet. I don't have transportation to get to another job. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm so scared. I need to stay at this stupid job because I need the insurance.
I feel so bad talking about my boyfriend like this and asking for help, but if I'm hurting and feeling ignored then it should matter. My patience is running low, I card so much and love him but honestly as an adult he shouldnt have me telling him to do basic things like cleaning up or suggesting when he should shower. His father also encourages an immature, drink and maybe try some drugs type of lifestyle for "experience " as if it's going to help him achieve anything. I'm sure one day he will get around, Ive pampered him and maybe some of the things I said to him got to his head and it just feels so one-sided. even some of the things he says to me makes me feel bad... like he only did XYZ for me to "get out the friendzone", honestly I feel like a long term rebound.
I loved my boyfriend, earlier in out relation even though I was trying to overcome a lot of crap he was there and he was a lot better then, around the end of the year he was laid off and I thought maybe he would be interested in seeing me more like we talked about but I guess not, around Thanksgiving he was changing slowly and lately I feel a lack of passion from him and I feel like im losing it for him... he wants to have sex but I'm not inclined, we only started having sex recently because I was inexperienced but honestly I'm getting faint to no pleasure from him, I've told him let's try this or that and even asked what he likes, hes so prude and doesnt care to try the things I suggest and its not like I'm suggesting anything incredibly kinky either, hes quite vanilla, honestly he is starting to strike me has someone who considers himself a freak but he doesnt even last long in bed... he has such selfish tendencies and I've brought it up to him but he doesnt care, hes not even making effort to try and turn me on and if he does he just gets frustrated after about a minute or 2 and walks away :( I also feel like he doesnt see me the way I see, or maybe I should say once saw him. and yes I've tried to talk to him but if i do, he gets upset and goes silent to only fuck off somewhere instead of talking things out with me. this same general behavior occurs outside of sex as well. I just feel a bit conflicted now with our relationship and I got suggestions to talk to him and depending on how he reacts again, it shows where our relationship stands. someone even suggested I just break up with him because maybe we are just incompatible. I also dont like that I have to clean up after him like a child, telling him he needs to buy a vacuum, mop the floor, wipe down surfaces and he even sometimes "forgets" to brush his teeth. He lives with his father and I think his father is an influence to this behavior. my boyfriend also lacks priority, it's not like he doesnt have money, because he does but he would rather sit and watch it in the bank then spend it on a driver's license, car, braces, he barely ever has food in the house and lives right across from WALMART. its ridiculous and honestly I've just been thinking that since he doesnt want to listen to my suggestions on his habits I might just decide to meet someone who is overall better. and yes I've tried to talk to him about how he feels to see if hes depressed but he claims hes fine and continues to be vague and not tell me anything.
Im born a girl and love it. But sometimes I get accussed as a guy or trans. I have nothing against LGBT but I hate being assumed not straight at all... Yeah I have a strong male facial features and my voice is deep when Im sick and that my torso is pretty muscular (im weightlift and swim) but I hate that people assume Im a "sir". Although mostly I just let it go because I know deep inside, Im a woman with xx chromosome, who gets her period etc.. But a frequent assumption pisses me off. And it even pissed me today. I ask this cashier guy if his sir thing is a gender neutral thing. He said, "uhh.. aren't yoy born male? LIKE YOU ARE A GUY DRESSED IN A FEMALE CLOTHING!" I was mad because if I was really a trans that would hurt and he just sounded like a dick!!! But I was just more mad in general because he assumed im a dude... I wasnt hysterical but it didnt end well for him.. and I got my stuff for free.... I didnt take a video because unfortunately my phone died. But if that happened again i swear... 😑😑😑