why do one long for the past....
I've never been close to my sister. We're two completely different people and our personalities just don't get along well. She's extroverted, social, loud. I'm introverted, shy, quiet, and never party. She was mean to me when we were kids. I can count on one hand how many times we've called or texted the other just to talk. Not because of an emergency, or one of us needed something, just wanting to talk. I think it's 2 or 3 times. It's hurtful that she has all these friends she talks to and hangs out with all the time, but I'm never included. The only reason she's talked to me lately is because her car was repossessed, her boyfriend is in jail, and she needed rides to work and a babysitter. Once she gets a car and a regular babysitter, she's not gonna talk to me. To be honest, I'm okay with not being best friends with her. I just want to see my nephew and see him grow up. Thinking about my nephew growing up without knowing how much I love him kills me. I wish I had a sister that loved me. Other families that I know, siblings love each other and are friends. I know she loves me because we're family, but she doesn't like me as a person and I know that. I've given up on being close to her. I had hope when she needed me this time, but she still treats me like a stranger.
When I watch porn, I feel like I need hardcore stuff to get off, and I love it - but only until I climax. As soon as I come down I feel disgusted and sad by what I was watching.
Bye aized take care, know that you will always have a piece of my heart. The end 🍃
I think my life is worse then it actually is. In my head I feel like the world is aginst me but its really me fighting with myself because I feel like I need to be perfect with everything.
It's getting dark outside, & I'm alone in my car, in the distance I can hear children screaming and yelling playing on the playground. I wish I could rewind time to that age.. not a care in the world. being an adult sucks, I'm currently living out of my car but hey at least it's summer time. winter was brutal.. just when I thought I had turned things around, I lost my job and here I am again.. being pretty gets you nowhere in life. Just look at me, I can look great on the outside, but the insides a different story.
Today, I realized, I hurt someone's feelings.
I needed that call. I need to remember that a good deal of these customers are good people and not bitchass motherfuckers. That dude was cool. That felt good.
Everyday, I'm afraid.... I fear of losing them. I can't imagine myself.
I've had no sex drive for months. I haven't even had the urge to masturbate, and even when I'd try just to see if I could get the gears going, it was just unenjoyable because I couldn't get wet. But I finally got my drive back and I'm so damn glad I could finally get off. Mentally, the desire was there, but physically, I just couldn't get myself in the mood. Only problem now is I'm constantly horny.