I’m 20 and I don’t think I will ever go on a date. Even online conversations get my anxiety to a level where I have no clue what to reply, and after every message I send, I’m convinced that the guy has had enough of me and won’t text back. But even if he does, I get anxious because I feel like he’s hoping for something he will never find, and would eventually get disappointed and leave. Every time I give myself one more try, I get back into the same cycle and prove to myself how inadequate I am all over again. I hear people saying they feel more comfortable when they chat online, and I feel pathetic for being the only one that doesn’t.
i wish someone, anyone would tell me they love me, or at least thought about me. i really needed it
it sounds like a really stupid thing to complain about but it's actually really exhausting and self deprecating to have a (drop dead) gorgeous best friend. boys dont take a second glance at me, im not as witty or even remotely smart as her, i dont have the bubbly and nurturing personality for people to like me, and i certainly dont have her looks. I feel like every second with her is every second of my self esteem diminishing, i sound hella dramatic but keep in mind that i dont even have a stable mentality or even a self esteem to begin with. literally a second after i wrote that sentence i bursted into hyperventilating tears. i dont know whats wrong with me. i get these random fits of outbursts and i seem to sink deeper into this thing of feeling absolutely shitty and utterly worthless. it's easy to say that i'm jealous of her but i dont even think it's about that at this point, i guess i have self esteem issues, but it's hitting me way deeper. shes my best friend and i love her to death but sometimes being around her hurts . I can't even be mad at her, how could i? she makes it hard to. I haven't gone out for like months and i always come up with bs excuses but truth is, its hit me to the point where i feel so ugly and disgusting for the world and i'd rather be alone in my safe haven than to be exposed out there.
I feel a deep resentment towards my parents. it is almost as if I hate them. they both suck. I wish they will disappear from my life. they are toxic to me and my son.
I wish I was a child again anxiety didnt exist then
I'm so damn lonely and touch starved. I just want to love someone and be loved back. Everyone I know has someone to call their own, except for me. And it hurts. I'm tired of being alone all the time, and I'm tired of getting constantly rejected. All my friends tell me I'm pretty and funny and so nice and that any guy or girl would be lucky to have me! ...but no one wants me. And I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I wish my girlfriend didn't live so far away. I've been really horny lately but I can't get myself off, I need a partner. Plus I just miss her. I just want to be around her. I'd love nothing more than for her to fuck me until I beg for mercy and then cuddle with me until we both fall asleep.
I feel lonely. So lonely I question myself if I truly know anyone.
It's been two months since my cat went missing. Sorry to post about this again but I miss her so much, and it's so hard to bear the possibility of not seeing her again. She could have been eaten by a lynx or a wolverine and I'd never find out... I really hope not. The other chance is that someone could have stolen her to keep as their own. I really hope that's it. I just hope she is happy, whatever the casd... I believe she's in heaven if she's dead. She had been with me for eight years, since I was thirteen and she was barely a year old... I wonder if I was a good caretaker. I definitely smothered her with affection too much. She did like to sit on my lap or to be petted, but didn't like to be held - arms around her probably felt too restraining - but I sometimes held her anyway. And the time she had fleas, I didn't treat it right away. And now, I feel like I'm not doing enough to find her. My sister posted about it on our town's facebook group, and I put posters on all three grocery stores that our town has, but not everyone might look at those bulleting boards. Everyone doesn't use facebook either. I should probably put a notice in the town newspaper too. Please be alright, kitty...
I left my hometown 5 yeas ago.. in this 5 years i found someone i love most that anything in the world.. i have a good job, good money, i live in a beautiful city but i miss my country so bad.. i dont know what to do.. i have mothing more in my hometown.. im going back there for 2 weeks to see my mother.. and im fucking afrair, but so fucking affaid that im not gonna be able to be happy here again when im come back.. i just wanted to go back “home” and stay there with my man :(.. i dont know.. im also afraid to tell my man those things :/ i dont think he would be happy there.. and i dondt want him to feel bad there how im feel here now.. i want to be we him but im dindt want him to be unhappy in some place that he doesnt like.. i just dont want him to be sad how iam now :/ i live here because i love him.. im fucking afraid.. im just pray now to not to cry the fuck out of my soul in front of my man when i have to come back here and leave my beloved hometown again :(