I was once in a hotel in Helsinki for 3 weeks in a vacation. Im a Brasilian woman who lives in switzerland for about 5 yeas now. I dont like switzerland so much.. the thing is.. when i checked out from my hotel in helsinki, the receptio ist asked me if i would travel for another country or if im just going to go home.. i answered “im going home” and he asked me “where is home?” That question bugged my head.. i dont feel like home in switzerland, but brazil is not my home anymore.. and them i just answered “ i dont know, but i live in the moment in switzerland”. Since this day i just have a weird feeling in my heart.. i dont feel like “home” anywhere.. :/ is that normal??? And everyday now i remember the question.. “where is home??” :(
my husband is whoremonger. he's not very bright at all. why didn't i know or see this before? probably because the term narcissist wasn't widely known back then and he wore his mask longer than normal. it wasn't until the 4 DUIs and rehab that all the shit came out in full view. he's a rage monster too. my heart is broken. i don't think ill ever love again. not sure if i want to. im not bitter just broken and numb.
I've been depressed for so long that even when I feel okay, I still look to suicide with rose tinted glasses. It's become a personal belief now to off myself and I've engrained it so deep into my head that I can't think of any other way. I have my own plan and everything. I've grown too comfortable with the idea, but I can't change the way I think about it.
the last woman i kissed but turned me down in the end had that infatuating scent. i was over her until i had that new professor that wore the same perfume. it pulls me down everytime i see her in class and i even get those flashbacks of that smell now frequently. it just makes me sad.
Late nights alone, awake when everyone else is asleep, doesn't have the same feelings as they use to. I was once a proud creature of the night, but now it's like I don't even know this realm anymore. Shame, it was the only place I could really feel in place.
Food makes me feel shame. Eating makes me feel shame. My body makes looking at myself feel shameful.
i do freelance filming and i dont have my own equipment bc theres a place you can rent things from for real cheap, yesterday, i was filming in a club and got kinda drunk... and i woke up just now and realized that a piece from my equipment is missing.... i dont want to be banned from the rental place but i cant see how i wont be. and if i were to pay to replace the item its gonna be so much money... this year sucks
There is a girl that likes me a lot.I like her too but she is from a rich family and i'm from a poor one.She keeps telling me that she loves me. Nomatter how i push her away she keeps coming to me。what shoul i do?
I feel more useless with each day that passes. I wish my mother didn't have to deal with me. I mean I help out as much as I can financially, but it's just not enough. I wish I could do more. I just feel like such a burden.
Watching My 600 Pound Life makes me crave donuts, milkshakes, pie, and pizza...