It's 2:18 a.m. and I can't sleep. There is one thing, that I know, that will help me sleep. I don't want to do it, but I have a long drive to work. I have to sleep.
I'm a scientist, a lawyer, an engineer, a doctor, and I'm also a motherf****r xD
Fuck guys a friends sister has been missing since Sunday...I'm not gonna be able to sleep.....
My mom is a professor and she doesn't want me to be her student in class because she doesn't want her other students to think I am possible to cheat because my professor is also my mom. I minored in the field she's teaching too so now I'm gonna wait another semester until someone teaches it.. -_-
I WANT TO LET THIS OUT: I have a professor that touched me in my college two years ago. When he did that, I never came to his class again. I tried and tried to pass his class because I need his class and he's the only professor teaching it and it's only offered in one semester I know I need to pass his class. He was horrible, and it also came with a coincident time my father died from a car accident back in LA. I live in a different state so I have to fly down there to attend the funeral. I came back with a note that I came for a funeral and he never accepted it and failed me in my 30% exam without any chance of re-take because he only accepts a doctor's note (not death, sports, conference notes etc). He never said this in the syllabus that he never accept beyond a doctor's note. He never really remembered the time he touched me I guess but he did again. He touched me.. now the end of semester, I failed his class. My GPA went down and I lost three scholarships that only help me afford a college tuition. I was stupid of not dropping his class but I want to graduate on time but him in my life, that probably hindered me what happened to me made me emotionally confused. Now you see, I only have a father and a brother as my relative and since my dad died, I'm by myself (my brother lives in europe away from me), I don't know anyone on my mom's side or my dad's side. And since I lost three scholarships, I have to do something about it. The time my professor touched me then, I felt dirty actually and used it as my asset to work as a stripper. I quit my dreams as pre-med student and majored in something easier to afford paying for college and graduate on time. It's so hard you know. But now I'm a stripper but I'm in no way telling my brother because I know how he'll feel bad that he failed me. But I don't want him to know my problems and pas it on to him. He's my ONLY family. Now though, I'm trying to make an evidence that he touched me so next time I can sue him. And right now my grades, I'm working on, I'm two points to get the grades back and get out of stripping already. I honestly don't like it but it pays me good money tbh. Good money.
I was at home minding my own business when someone added me on snapchat. He straight up sent a message, telling me he saw me on campus, that he thought I'm cute so he asked one of my friends for my snapchat username. He then asked If I was bi(I'm a guy)...Now, I got someone adding me on Sc last year and asking me the same thing( he then sent me nudes and I blocked him for that) .Really few ppl from college have me on sc and I'm getting really stressed because no one knows about me liking boys.
I have a friend that graduated from a college abbreviated as STI. Sometimes my wildest thoughts came to make me think that my friend must be graduate of STI majoring in sex.ed.
School told me not to go away on the long weekend because its straight after my mid year exams. I was convinced for one day that i wasnt going away. Im going to go to the greatest event in history. Im not waiting 2 years for another opportunity for merch and great memories.
I feel so close to giving up on school altogether. My last year, im going insane, im not making smart decisions. I dont even know if I want pursue the career of my dreams anymore. Wanted to do it since i was 15. And at 18 i feel so consumed by my mental health, i just dont know anymore. I dont feel good enough, and i dont know i am or if i'll ever be.
It's weird that I was more mature at 19 than now at 20. And I don't know what happened.