There's this person I really like. Problem is she's my TA.. I'm not really into dating people who has an authority of me. But estimating her age, she's just a little bit older than me also in her 20's and so do I. But I need the class so I can graduate already and her time is the only time of class available for me to have so I have no choice. I just set aside the emotions but it's weird that I get quite the attraction like that for the first time. I never had an attraction to anyone before or has never been in a relationship for 5 years so it's a weird feelings. Plus I think she's straight... I mean she's a christian and no doubt she's straight. (Not that I'm generalizing cuz I'm a christian and not straight)... Plus her attitude kinda implies the same attraction towards me so.... But it kinda changed when I started annoying her a bit. She kinda started having a bit of a cold shoulder towards me and I think it's totally fine for me. She's still nice and I can see she treats everyone the same now including me. But now I can concentrate in the class and remain professional. Plus I need that class to develop my logic skills not my emotional development haha.
I'm curious, do American schools actually have hobby- and/or appearance-based cliques where some people are more popular?
I am really weak/unfit. I never was a sporty person, P.E. always was my worst subject, and since I've been out of school, not having to do any kind of sport (plus being sick for quite a long time, having to mostly lay in bed for months) I became extremely weak. I literally can't do one push up. I get out of breath after walking one flight of stairs. I would be okay with this, I'm slowly trying to become fitter for health reasons, but... the problem is that I am going to school again from now on. And there will be P.E. classes. And 20 people will witness me not being able to do one push up, run 2 minutes or throw a ball across a 5m field. I am so embarrassed about this, so afraid of the lessons. I try getting in shape faster, but with all the school work I have to do, I quite literally have no time for a proper training. It will be so shameful.
Due to the workings of the german system of education, some of my subjects are far more important to my finals than others, called Leistungskurse (LK) or "Performance-Courses", those LKs are put at the very end of a 10-hour schoolday. I don't even know where to start with why this sucks ass, but wouldn't it make more sense to put the most important kind of class at the beginning of the day, instead of the end? The teachers don't like it, I don't like it and anyone else is equally disgruntled by it. To qoute Lovecraft, albeit jokingly: "When I think of the extent of (...) that (...) I almost wish to kill myself forthwith."
Towards the end of school, i completely lost all motivation. I was handing in stuff later and procrastinating more than i had ever done before, which is really saying something. I dont really know why it happened, but i started telling myself that i just didnt care. That i knew i wasnt going to do very well and that i was okay with that. I did almost no revision up until right before the exams. And then i took them all, and for most of them i thought that it didnt go as bad as i was expecting. That im at least going to pass. I tried convincing myself that i was okay with getting C's, that i was expecting it. But when i got two C's and a D, god damn i was heart broken. Especially since for my best subject i was actually almost expecting a B. For a lot of people these results are great, especially since im not trying to get into any uni right now, but my whole life my family has told me that im super intelligent, that i could get A's, but clearly thats just not the case, and im trying to be positive about it but i cant. I hate myself for the way i just stopped trying but tbh i dont think i could have prevented it
Republicans are racist? If you really believe the party that freed the slaves, ended segregation, passed the civil rights act, and deployed the 101st airborne to make sure black kids could go to school with white kids are racist . . . YOU MIGHT BE BRAINWASHED!
I've been out of school for a while, but recently started to get nightmares about it again. They come more and more frequently and become worse, making me actually exhausted when I wake up because I spent the whole time of the dream panting and clenching my muscles (not to mention how I can barely concentrate on anything because I can't forget the dream). I know what they mean; there's always a past trauma in the story. But I wish I knew why they're coming NOW. And how I can stop them.
The globalists are trying to destroy the United States of America. They are doing this by making it popular to say the United States isn't great, by cheering those who take a knee during the national anthem, and by declaring that pledging allegiance to the flag is racist. The lemmings have no idea how good they have it. With great sadness I see how globalists will destroy America from within.
When I was a junior in high school, (2010) I made a birthday cake for my math teacher (64years old) and my whole math class. I put a fat brick of weed butter in the cake mix. I never told any of them. They loved the cake though, it got devoured.
I'll miss my math professor. So gorgeous... but I have to move on. Pass or fail it was nice having her though.