My therapist appointment is too far away and I feel awful. Yesterday in class I felt so stupid when I didn't find answers in the texts we had to read. And last week I couldn't understand a word after the teacher explained it to me. Also, like usual I've been too scared to talk to anybody. I can't talk to anyone but this site.
I don't get the purpose of basic calculators. They're useless. It's not even allowed back when I was in elementary or middle school. Then high school and college came and I use scientific calculators now and has a greater investment. Graphing calculators too... Just saying....
Pretty much all the free-time events and activities at my university involve drinking and lewd humor. I hate stuff like that and the local assumption that everyone in their 20s drinks regularly.
You can do those image analyses. It wasn't hard last time, remember? See, it was even fun at times! There's only two more and one to be polished a bit. Don't be so scared of putting it to words, you're good at organizing points logically. What about the paper from the other course? You can do it, you're not dumb! Finding sources is pretty easy with all those databases. It's gonna be okay.
I found my old prom photos. On one hand, I hate looking at them because back then, I was fat and that dress was not flattering and my makeup looked mediocre at best. But on the other hand... it makes me feel good about myself now. It reminds me how much weight I've lost and how much better I actually look. I even tried that old dress on to see how it fits me now, and actually... it looks really good. I'm very tempted to alter it and take in some of the fabric (since it's actually too big now) and find an excuse to wear it somewhere.
People say it's okay to not know what you want to do or what to not know what you want to be as far as the age of 40, i hear it all the time but the amount of pressure and stress my mum puts on me is unreal, and I'm only 17. She threatens me all the time that I'll have to marry young and become a housewife if i dont choose a career path soon. I know she means well but little does she know her words are detrimental and heartbreaking. She tells me i don't take school seriously and i just go for the sake of it but truth is, i'm just as confused as the next kid.
There's this person I really like. Problem is she's my TA.. I'm not really into dating people who has an authority of me. But estimating her age, she's just a little bit older than me also in her 20's and so do I. But I need the class so I can graduate already and her time is the only time of class available for me to have so I have no choice. I just set aside the emotions but it's weird that I get quite the attraction like that for the first time. I never had an attraction to anyone before or has never been in a relationship for 5 years so it's a weird feelings. Plus I think she's straight... I mean she's a christian and no doubt she's straight. (Not that I'm generalizing cuz I'm a christian and not straight)... Plus her attitude kinda implies the same attraction towards me so.... But it kinda changed when I started annoying her a bit. She kinda started having a bit of a cold shoulder towards me and I think it's totally fine for me. She's still nice and I can see she treats everyone the same now including me. But now I can concentrate in the class and remain professional. Plus I need that class to develop my logic skills not my emotional development haha.
I'm curious, do American schools actually have hobby- and/or appearance-based cliques where some people are more popular?
I am really weak/unfit. I never was a sporty person, P.E. always was my worst subject, and since I've been out of school, not having to do any kind of sport (plus being sick for quite a long time, having to mostly lay in bed for months) I became extremely weak. I literally can't do one push up. I get out of breath after walking one flight of stairs. I would be okay with this, I'm slowly trying to become fitter for health reasons, but... the problem is that I am going to school again from now on. And there will be P.E. classes. And 20 people will witness me not being able to do one push up, run 2 minutes or throw a ball across a 5m field. I am so embarrassed about this, so afraid of the lessons. I try getting in shape faster, but with all the school work I have to do, I quite literally have no time for a proper training. It will be so shameful.
Due to the workings of the german system of education, some of my subjects are far more important to my finals than others, called Leistungskurse (LK) or "Performance-Courses", those LKs are put at the very end of a 10-hour schoolday. I don't even know where to start with why this sucks ass, but wouldn't it make more sense to put the most important kind of class at the beginning of the day, instead of the end? The teachers don't like it, I don't like it and anyone else is equally disgruntled by it. To qoute Lovecraft, albeit jokingly: "When I think of the extent of (...) that (...) I almost wish to kill myself forthwith."