i went to a brothel and actually seen one of my former high school teachers working there
I wish I could go back to high school where the work was easy and people thought I was clever. How pathetic that my slightly better than average GCSE results will be my magnum opus. I'm going to fail my A Levels and let everyone down because I am not intelligent. I feel so worthless because I'm not clever, I'm not good at anything and I'll never be a success. My parents are already disappointed in me, in my outlook, in the subjects that I've taken, in how lazy I've become, they've already told me. I just want to die and I know that sounds so idiotic, they're just A Levels but really they're not, they dictate the rest of my life, where I can go to university, what jobs I can get, how much money I can earn etc. I'm just so trapped by my idiocy and it's not something I can change no matter how hard I work, no matter how much I plan and revise it will always, always hold me back. What's the point in living a mediocre life where all you are is a disappointment to everyone around you including yourself? How will I ever be happy if I always know that I am a failure, sub par, an incompetent person?
I'm starting collage next three days and my anxiety is killing me. A part of me wants to meet different people but then I don't. I don't wanna be judged but then I DRC what others think of me. I'm so confused and anxious rn.
My graduation class had the idea to have "special" class photos taken for the year book. Chemistry class for example took a photo with each student doing something that's forbidden in the lab (like drinking from a test tube)... even the teachers participated. No graduation class before us did this, but the years after us did it. It's now a tradition at our school and somehow it feels extremely great having been part of the group that started a tradition.
I'm only 16 but even I can tell that my future is looking bleak considering the state of my grades
I knew my procrastination was going to bite me in the ass. I haven't even checked my results yet because I just KNOW it's bad; I have to reset everything again and I don't even know if I will be able to even do my A-Levels. I hate myself, I hate this, why am I like THIS. Will I even have a future
There's a guy in some of my classes who's honestly a "loser", he's overall a little weird, doesn't take care of his appearance well, and a lot of people avoid or make fun of him. I don't like making people feel bad, so I'm always nice to him and talk to him when nobody else does so he doesn't feel excluded. Apparently, he thinks we're friends now. He constantly sends me songs I should "definitely listen to" which always turn out to have lyrics like "I'm glad I found you" or "Emma is beautiful" (my name's Emma), sends me memes, and invites me to strange places like metal concerts or LAN parties (nothing about my appearance or behavior tells you I should be invited to either one). Now I don't know how I can tell or show him that me talking to him during school time doesn't mean I want to hang out with him. To be honest, I'm a little afraid that he'll hurt me, become a school shooter or a stalker, because he had anger issues in the past (chased a teacher over a fence and punched her for telling him to sit down).
I'm a really attractive guy. but sometimes I wanna fuck an ugly guy. idk why.
I'm 18 and tbh I think I've already managed to royally screw up my life, how is that even possible
lgbtqrstuv...all of them. soulless