I'm 18 and tbh I think I've already managed to royally screw up my life, how is that even possible
lgbtqrstuv...all of them. soulless
A classmate of mine often says cringey shit he reads on the internet and everyone hypes him for it and agrees with him, because it sounds good, but noone actually thinks about it. Like "if steroids are illegal for athletes, then photoshop should be illegal for models" or "I just realized that a waterfall is just called waterfall because water falls down somewhere, how WEIRD is that?"
I'm about to fail class if I don't study for my exam, but somehow I can't motivate myself. I don't know what's wrong with me, I really wish I could but it's like I don't care at all...
I'm starting college in fall and my parents are paying for everything. I don't have to pay a single cent. they are paying everything out of their pockets (no loans). I'm not sure how to feel about this. On one hand, I'm very happy to not have to take loans and start my adult life in debt. But I also know that while they make a decent amount of money, it's still a financial stretch and I can't do anything about it. My parents never mentioned anything about it being a financial burden but I can sense it. what should I do?
My social anxiety was very severe in elementary school to the point that I thought everyone was evil in school. Now I'm in high school and I still have it except that I know how to control it, I keep saying it's just me not the people. I socialize like any other people but still get anxiety attacks. Tingling in lips, burning sensation, racing heartbeat, sweating palms, fatigue...some days are okay, some days are so-so, some days are very bad
I will get kicked out of college due to bad grades in a few months - if not earlier - and don't have a plan B. As soon as I get kicked out, I won't get any money from my parents, hence I will be financially ruined, and so far I couldn't even find a part time job due to the lack of skills or experience - so I don't think it will be easy, if even possible, to find a company that will hire me for training. At least not in a field that will be a good job for me. I think I'll forever be stuck in a low paying job that I hate, just because I was too lazy in high school and didn't think of what would happen if college was too hard for me.
I don't know how to write a long confession, which is weird, because last time during exam I could write six pages of folios essay.
I am going to university but at the same time I'm not going. What I mean is: I'm enlisted, but never actually go there unless I have to in order to not get kicked out. The reason isn't that I'm lazy, it's because I noticed that my major is absolutely not what I want to do, but I just don't have a plan B. I'm trying to find another career option, but nothing seems suitable, and slowly I'm panicking because I can only keep this going for one more semester.
Saw something that reminded me of this, snd now I need to rant. A year ago, I was in a physics 2 class in college. We were assigned a group project that we had to do with the people at our tables. At my table there was my best friend and two boys. The project was building a little model house and wiring it up with lights and a motor. Cool okay, we can do this. My best friend and I said we'd do all of the creative work if the boys would start on the wiring. We would help them once all the creative shit was done. So after a weekend and a couple days of the week, my friend and I had the entire creative portion done. The boys still didn't have anything done on the wiring. So as we sat in class that day with it being a day to work on the project, we forced them to start on the wiring. After about 30 minutes, them giving up, me shoving diagrams of how to do it at them, and them not doing shit, I took over. In about 5 minutes, I had the first circuit hooked up. So I said screw it, my friend and I will do the wiring if the boys will do the paperwork. My friend and I take the next two class periods to finish all of the wiring. Now it's the tuseday before this project is due on Thursday(at 9am). We all agree to meet at 8 tgat thursday morning finish up any small last minute details. I made it clear, I needed the boys to have their parts finished before we met. They didnt. They hadn't done anything. So I'm sitting there with one of the boys as we're waiting on the other. The other was supposed to make the drawing of the house showing all the circuits and all the other parts we were supposed to have. "So did he do it?" The other guy looks at me and shrugs. "I told him to, but didn't get a reply." "Okay, so do it." He sits there. I get back to work on the calculations they were supposed to do. "So do we have the drawing yet?" He goes wide eyed at my question. "Haven't heard from him yet." I grit my teeth and glare at him. "Then get out a peice of paper and. Do. It." He scrambles to get a peice of paper like he's worried I about to hit him. Other guy finally shows up. I pass him one of my calculations. "Rewrite this so it's neater. We're being graded on neatness." About 20 minutes later, we're in the classroom now, rushing to finish (well I am) and I ask him for the 3rd time if he's finished rewriting that. He looks at me and goes "Oh, you wanted me to do that?" At this point, I'm shaking in anger and I'm very close to punching him. Note,I never get this pissed at anyone. I practically yell "Yes! That's why I asked you to do it 3 times!" My best friend (who recently got there from her previous class, she couldn't meet early but met with me before her first class and passed off the needed materials) told me to calm down. She's all for "bitch at them!! Tell them off!" She never tells anyone to calm down. And when it came time to present the project(our teacher snd the other teacher of the physic classes came to each group individually) I sat back and didn't say a damn thing. I let the boys flounder and try and to explain shit they hadn't done. And then later explained everything to my teaher. Never found out the boys' final grade, but I got an A. And on the next project, I had to work with them again(had no choice), they got their work to me a couple days before the deadline I gave them. They did everything I asked them to. They pulled their weight and then some. So moral of the story kids: be a decent fucking group partner, or pull double your weight next time to try and fix your fucked up grade.