What are we going to do tonight Brain? Same thing we do every night Pinky.... Try to take over the world! Actually I'm just eating toast as I try to find the energy to beat off... Close enough.
Honestly, I hate my form of disability(there's 3 major types and at least 12 minor types.) I dont know... I'm like in the middle of a normal person and a disabled person. I look normal, I can walk and not need any braces and wheelchair etc. But I have a paralyzed bladder and other areas around my body (id prefer not to mention the others). Like dear god, if I'm gonna be like this, why didnt you just made me normal or obviously disabled? I know I should be lucky but people just don't understand. All the time!! My friends would ask me to hike with them but I can't and I cant tell them the reason because it was too embarrassing (i will pee my pants in an uphill position like that and doctors told me to refrain from it and my feet is numb that I wont feel the rocks when i walk I will more likely to fall often times. Plus I tried it and force my feet to do so and I farte like unaccountable amount of times and i poop my pants like literally....) Often times they would ask, "why can you swim and not run? Like that's bogus!! " I always tell them my body is literally built for swimming not walking (my leg density is low and I build little to no muscle in one of my legs and I have good muscles suited for swimming so I only pursued that) they said they find it hard to believe because they seem not real and would get mad because they think Im insecure or hiding something and then would unfriend me. Like all the time I'm left alone because many can't understand my disability.. and many see me as a liar and always making my disability as an excuse for not running (i pee my pants for running) etc.. these legs. One of them are useless than a prosthetic legs and I would want it amputated... like everytime!! I'd rather get rheuma at 70 than 25 just because I have a leg thats only used to support the other leg to walk... I get soooo mad at myself and i get so depressed and frustrated that I cant make friends just because they think Im lying.. I mean if I must I can show them how i pee so they understand. Id demostrate them how my feet are different from each other.. id show them my confdential medical records etc. I dont know.. but how do you even find respectcul friends and at least believe you and respect what you believe?
This might sound stupid but I really want to stop college for two years just to become a surfer. I never tried it but I always would looove to do it and do it for most of my life before I go back again and become busy with college and probably when I go to med school. I have a very heavy major (chem and physics) and I have no time for everything but for surfing, I want to stop college for a while but it's just too dumb that I think like that. I feel like after I graduate I will have no time. because then I'll probably be 23 and next year is 24 and I feel like that's the year I should probably settle down already.. I feel like I have a short time to do all the things I want. I'm 20 though and it's like in five years there's not much I can do. and then I reach 27 and 30 and so on. For some reason I always think that being 30 is just it. You're old (not trying to offed 30 years old people). But I feel like 20s is too fast and too fast that I haven't done much. At least haven't done the things I enjoy. I love surfing because my uncle does it and he's good but he passed away and wasn't able to teach me. I do regretted not trying it in high school when he was still alive but back then I told myself I can just try surfing in college but then here's college and I literally even have more busy life.... I love surfing just because I love the water and even though I haven't tried it I just know I wanted it. I love to swim a lot and diving too. But surfing i wasn't encouraged by my dad just because he was a sailor and he keeps telling me about shark attacks and all. Plus everyone in my family are indoor people and hates doing sporty activities.
I've won a small sum of money on a sports bet. My first thought was to buy a sex toy but instead i'm gonna use it to buy the expensive meds i'm taking.
best thing about brazilian jiu jitsu an being a low weight class. is the girls you get to roll around with I would let any girl get me in a triangle choke. love having my head between a girls legs. I'm 19m an my friend Jessica is 16 sexy as hell. she knows why I let her get me into those positions. plus the sex is good. I already know your older that's a underage girl your sick kill yourself. her parents are fine with us together ever since I turned 19
I've been betting on sports on the last few days and haven't won a single cent. Time to quit for sure.
It's weird when countries are so proud of their sports achievements
It sucks that Italy didn't qualified for the World Cup in Russia. They're one of the best teams out there.
I've just started gambling on sports events and damm it's addicting as hell! Can't wait for tomorrow for the stores and pastries to open again so i can play a little more. I feel empty when i don't play. I now it's bad to feel this way.
So I'be wanted to be a professional athlete since I was young and today I was just Tol that because of an injury I might never be able to play this sport professionally again and tbh I don't really know how to deal with this emotionally. I just feel like a huge part of me has been ripped and and has left a huge gaping hole, which I have nothing to fill it with