I'm a willing slave to my owner, who pimps me out every day to earn for him. I obey.
I'm masturbating with my pencil... i always wash it and then i put it back in my pencilcase. Once my schoolmate saw it and he needed one and he almost grabbed it. NEVER TAKE THINGS WITHOUT ASKING EVERYONE
So I'm friends with my coworker. A few months ago, he set me up with his brother, and I'm dating him now. This is all well and good. Well my mom works with us too. She left our area for a while but now she's back. My coworker has been essentially hovering around her to chitchat. Now he's always liked talking to my mom, because she's one of few people who can carry an interesting conversation. But he is SO up her ass lately that I can't help but wonder if he's got the hots for her. I really hope he doesn't, because not only is she not even single, but she's twice his age! A small age gap is fine, but not that. Not dating someone old enough to have birthed you. Plus, even if she was interested and they dated, it would be REALLY fucking weird for my brother in law to be my stepdad. Part of me thinks maybe it only bothers me so much because some subconscious part of me is jealous since I used to have a crush on him... but no. I haven't had feelings for him in a long time. And it's just gross to chase someone that much older who isn't even single. But if he does even have a crush on her (since I'm really just speculating), I'll admit I'd be a bit hurt that he never once found interest in me, but he did find interest in a woman who is related to me and twice his age.
Ok so i can be in shower for more then 45 minutes and that's because i love water. I love how it's running all over me and i can't get out, it's like i am glued there under the shower. And that's why i hate showers because i am there more then 45 minutes.
I took a sharpie to my school's bathroom wall today. The vice principal was being an asshole, as she usually is to literally everyone at my school, and I pretty much wrote that she should go fuck herself. It will probably be painted over by tomorrow. Fine by me. Needed to get this off my chest real quick.
Ok so I'm on a school toilet rn... And i was on Instagram so that took me a lot of time and now I'm just waiting for our pause to end because i don't wanna be kbown like someone who falls in the toilet lmao i just had to say that because i would feel ashamed if i walked out of here and no one knew what i was doing 😂
When me and my boyfriend talk about things we want to do together in the future, it makes me really happy and it gets me excited about moving forward instead of fearing the inevitable changes. Today we talked about what kind of dogs we'd want to have, what size bed we'd get, even looked at cool dish drying racks online haha. It's just nice to think about spending my life with him and casually sharing every day with someone I love so much.
Im feeling like im wasting my life.. i left my home country 6 uears ago... and im not a fan from my “new country”... sometimes i just want to go back and erase this 6 years.. im 30 uears old, i have a nice boyfriend for 5 years now and he is the only reason im still here.. but it makes me also sad everyday.. i just miss home.. i miss the food, i miss my home, i miss my family.. i just miss everything about it.. even the bad things :/.. im feeling stuck here.. with no money, no family, with a boyfriend that loves me bur i dont really know if he wants to marry me ( and my dream is merey someday :/ i dont wanna wait forever), i have a job that i hate.. i hate it so damn bad that i have to throw up every day because im nervous when im at wort.. i dont know :/ i just want to regret not going back home.. and after 6 ueas i just feeling that i wasting my timelife :/ but i also dont wanna regret that i not tried harder to make me happy here :/ i just dont know what to to.. i feel lonely.. i have no friend here.. i hate people here.. they are all so i dont know “ice cold”.. kinda of people that only things about money... Im from brazil by the way... living in switzerland... And no.. its not true that they all are rich here... they are just broke people like everywhere else...
2 years ago i was training for the basketball team and we went on a competition that was for young girls, so even if i just turned 16 i had to lie that i am 12 and NO ONE NOTICED so ig i have a baby face? Lmao
I had a dream that my mom, who died over 6 years ago, came back. She thought it was still 6 years ago. I didn't want to lie so I had to tell her its January 2020. I didn't know how she was back, I didn't want to question it. I just hugged her as tight as I could and told her what's been going on lately. I didn't want to make her sad and tell her who's died since she's been gone, so I tried to avoid that. And then the dream was over way too quickly. Every time I see her in a dream, that's basically what happens. Every time I'm aware it's a dream but I don't ask out loud and risk waking up. I don't try to pinch myself to prove it's real. One time I pinched myself in a dream and it hurt, so I thought it was real. But then I pinched myself again and again and it didn't hurt. I try to enjoy my time with her but I always end up wanting to believe it's real so badly. I want to ask her questions but I never remember them. I know even if she did answer them, it's probably my own mind answering for her.