Sloth and Lust are deadly combinations of sins. Unfortunately, I have both.
Something so awful that happened to me last summer in my research field. I'm fully aware it was my doing, it was my fault. I lied and I did this because I didn't know what to do. Tbh, it came down with my fear to my mentor who always gets mad at me and knowing the fact that I did it, he will get more mad at me. But it went south, all my colleagues were mad at me. It went too personal as well. They end up knowing my mental health and used it against me. One told me how toxic I am, one told me how he does not like me. One told me how I have a choice, one told me how I should be in the psych ward. I am mad because they were right but at the same time I couldn't speak up, I couldnt be mad back. I felt that it was all my fault. I had to accept and I did and I was sorry. But I am mad because I never get to tell them what I have to say. I am mad at my mentor because he could've been a mentor and not an asshole boss who sees his students like his pawns. I was not challenged intellectually, I was challenged mentally and physically to the extent of my own sanity. I was mad because my mentor could've understand me. But I get it because he can't and I can see because he's always stressed out, aggressive, and bitter. How can a man like him be such a good role model? My colleague, this guy that told me he don't like me, I dont like him to in the first place. He's roo self absorbed, rude, and self glorify himself too much as if he asks for love of his own parents. He could say such words to me because it shows how shallow he is. This girl that told me to go to psych ward, she did a mental illness research in the past when she don't get the level of a person with mental illness. Telling me that is like building a monster inside me. It makes me mad because saying I should be in the mental hospital felt like dehumanizing me. I am mad because I couldn't say a thing to these people on how they ignored their own words to make excuses to say things against me just because they have seen wrong in me. I am hurt, I am mad, and it's sadly building a monster in me. No I don't need a psych ward, I need understanding, care, and to forgive them. I am aware I made mistakes that I was wrong, that I learned from it. But at the same time it makes me so mad. I can't get over it and I don't know what to do. I just want to break something express this anger but I dont know why I cant. I feel like people will judge me.
I'm pissed off right now because some trifling ass bitch was running her mouth about me to my ex and twisting my words, telling him I said things I didn't. I'm still friends with him so I'm upset that he's gonna be mad at me over something I didn't fucking say because what she said to him was hurtful and rude. I hate gossip.
Back in high school I was a complete delinquent. I always get in trouble. I'm always known for vandalizing walls with my murals. And not to brag they were some great murals just controversial. I was also into computers and always hacks the school website most of the time. On my early high school, I also got in to a bad group of people, with my interest in cooking, I also got a fond of cooking drugs like cocaine and meth. I knew how to make powedered LSA too (not LSD) and some MMDA. I'm also a big fond of growing weed. I sell pretty much but never took them except the weed and Molly. But I always see my friends high and five killed themselves with overdose. Somehow at 15 I kinda just changed. I just runaway from my abusive foster family and searched for my biological mother. Well ill keep it to myself on how I found her. But she's actually a scientist, she's married, never divorced and has three kids all younger than me. I just sat in front of the house, I never introduced myself cuz I mean who would want a girl with side shaved head and lip piercings. Plus she gave me away... I just went back to my school, ignored my bad friends and actually passed by a swim coach, shes strict but she's actually one of my inspirations to change. Well oddly I still do the things I do back in high school. Except in hs I gradutaed with an average goa but in college I was a magna cum laude majoring in bioengineering. Right now I work in a lab doing chemistry. I garden as hobby and mostly were eggplants, basil, carrots and celery. I still paint but legally. I also volunteer in helping delinquent teens. But one thing I never did yet was to actually introduce myself to my biological mother. I kinda wonder what's she's like now and what she'll say when she sees me. Out of all changes I made this one is the hardest!
I have a very thin hair, and I'm so insecure about that.
just sucked on some random girls tits outside a nightclub. they were trashy but hey sucking tits is fun
I was born with the power of umbrakinesis. It's very shallow but now I'm using a Subliminal to increase it to it's full capability. Then I will torture the people I hate and scare the shit out of then. Umbrakinesis means the ability to control darkness/shadows.
so recently I got closer with my one friend who has a girl well we started sending nudes to each other and he explained to me how he want we to fuck me ans shit and I don't feel bad about it is that bad
I thought I was home alone so I was using my vibrator on the loudest volume, moaning and everything. Then I heard a door slam in the house, turns out my roommate was home all along, he must have heard everything. I've never been so ashamed in my life, how can I ever face him again pffshk
Can't wait for the holidays. Lots of gifts too