ive forgotten how to cry
so the guy I used to be in love with all through highschool and even a couple years after. were still friends. we used to be fuck buddies for awhile. anyways even though I don't have feelings for him like that anymore. I'm with a guy I absolutely love now and will marry someday. but there's still something about my friend that makes me feel differently than my bf. like my bf for example is usually much gentler, he's afraid to hurt me if he'd be too rough. he asks me before he does anything. but my friend, he's a bit aggressive even when I don't think he means to be. even when my bf does want to be rough and try to "boss me around" or do more aggressive things when we fool around its not the same strength. it's not the same intensity. my friend it's like everytime he touches someone he claims them as his. like last night we were all hanging out. my bf and I were going to leave so he went out to warm up the car. me, my bff and this friend were just talking for a few minutes before we left and all of a sudden, I remember what we were talking about but he pulls me up over him to the other side of the couch to where my bff was and said "here you go" to her. and just that action. idk was it was. I'm sorry if I don't make sense it's just really hard to describe. but I got insanely turned on by him grabbing me like that, even tho it wasn't meant to be sexual at all we were just messing around. it's just like the way he holds himself and the way he just does things spontaneously and a bit rough that it's just a turn on. like not saying my bf doesn't turn me on he does and we have amazing sex. it's just different. idk if my bf has less confidence, idk if he thinks I'm this fragile person, idk if that's just the way he is. but there's just a difference between him and my friend.
What to do if you lose your passion? I don't know what is happening to me, but I think I lose my passion and it'll cost me my life (education, family trust, etc). And it still not enough push that I need to get my passion back. I don't know what to do right now. Now it cost me to fall asleep at dawn, overthinking every night, and messing my monthly period because of stressed.
So I met this girl in the middle of last semester and I kind of knew that she was into me at the time, the thing was that I thought I would never see her again because we are studying completely different courses. But ever since I met her, I saw her a lot of times and the thing is that she was really cool and I want to talk to her again but every time I see her I am with my friends and it is not option to ditch my friends just to talk to her and I know she still remembers me because holds a gaze and smiles at me every time she sees me, I just wish I can have another opportunity to talk to her again
I desire to be castrated by a beautiful woman while I watch and masturbate...
I feel like a failure.. Times getting short and not any of my thesis are done. My lecturer are really hard to reach on and I'm afraid I couldn't finish it in the remaining 5 months. I'm really scared, I don't know.. I don't want to be a failure to my parents of course, but I don't know what to do.
I was gonna prep for this conference which was pretty prestigious. And it was my first one too and I'm still an undergrad. But I decided to opt out of it just because of my health. I know it's a waste of my opportunity but idk why, for the first time of my life, I've never been so much happier giving something up for the sake of my own health. Well maybe because this time my actual physical health was affected. But if I have done the same in the past. If I have set aside the research opportunities I applied to that I got into for the sake of my mental health, I think I would've been so much happier then and would be more ready in the future. But giving something so prestige over my health makes me understand that prestige means nothing over something precious which is my life. I felt human for the first time tbh.
I'm always curious, if ya'll don't mind what's the reason why you and your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancee/fiance, husband/wife breakup and/or divorce?
Im a paraglider pilot.. not a good one.. but i love it!! I almost died today.. the thing is.. im not even mad hahaha or sad.. i mean.. im happy to be alive of course but if i die someday with my glider.. its ok.. at least i was doing what i love..
They torture me with their perfect life. How to overcome it? I try my best to accustomed to, but It ends up not really well😕